They found each other
after experiencing others
On the dating field of romance, heartaches, and false promises
No other could match up
It was nice that
They experienced those
Just to wait for each other
And to know that they wanted none of the others.
They were meant for each other forever
They were meant to be, to meet, and to enjoy the bliss
Just the two of them.
They wanted to stop the clock from chiming and telling them the day was over
Their beginning was beautiful
They started out right
Enjoyed each other’s arms and might
They couldn’t have enough of one another
As they wanted to make the most of the moments with each other.
He asked her before taking any action
And she loved waiting to hear his thoughts on her decisions.
Oh what a heaven on earth
They got married
And began doing life together
Marriage was beautiful
They couldn’t have asked for more or better
“Marriage is honourable in all ...”
Hebrews 13:4 KJV
On the outside
They were promising and progressive couples
On the inside
They were trying to maneuver
this thing called life and marriage
But at least they were trying.
Then, the children came
The friends’ list expanded
The in-laws visited
The families invited themselves
The neighbors stopped by
Some left as soon as they came
Some stayed a little longer than they wanted them to
But boy oh boy
Seemed a little of each of them left with their boundless guests.
Work got working
Babies got kicking
Bills got higher
Stress seeped in unannounced
Health gave them a notice
“hey friends, you need to clean up your slates”
They got weary
And left life little things undone
And suddenly
She was hurting
But he couldn’t see the pain
He thought all that was now necessary was to work to pay the bills
What happened to their usual getaways
And the annual vacations
All seemed to have vanished
Why wasn’t she no longer enough for him
Why doesn’t he call her again when he’d be home late
Why leave her out in the cold
To follow others
Why are his eyes roaming around
when the peace is right beside him
And the beauty is inside his arms and house waiting for his arrival.
Weekends are spent away from each other
The one doing what he or she wants
Except for the children’s noises
One couldn’t tell there was any soul in the house.
The friends, in-laws, families, and neighbors who came are living happily
But alas they are both languishing in hurts, pains, and misery
You weren’t supposed to trade places
Those people now see them
And look the other way
Do they know a thing or more?
Oh honey
You two need to talk
And yes, they talked
but not to or with each other
They talked instead
to and with the friends, families, and guests
Those who no longer really know them
But who still viewed them as they once knew them
That was part of the problem
My friends.
So, one wrote a note to the other
Guess who did
But “oh you’re too late”
I filed for divorce
You’ll be getting it soon.
What happened
What happened to the bliss and laughters
What began sweet, beautiful, loving, and peaceful
Has disintegrated
To hatred, ill-wishes, and bickering
Families split
Friends taking sides
The children taking solace in other things than their loving parents.
You dropped the ball somehow
Is this the end?
Whoever said something good can’t last forever
Is there an avenue of escape
Why believe the lies
And think that the grass is greener elsewhere
Could it have been tuft
Or miracle gro
Or they did their part to water and nourish their garden daily?
If you can’t stop this from falling apart
My friends, you can’t stop any other.
The difference between
A successful marriage
And one ending in divorce
Are many
Ever heard of
Mutuality and Communication
And Value
That is, valuing each other over and above those people who aren’t really in it with you;
And Prioritizing
Friends, there’s a lot we can prioritize about each other;
Ever heard of Respect, too
Or Praying or Faith or Wisdom?
I’m sure you’ve heard
Of Love
Because you both started there
But my friends
Love is nothing
Without the other attributes
Together they make the difference between
Marriage and Divorce.
“... because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. ...”
Matthew 19:8-9 KJV
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