How do you feel when you love someone who does not love you back? Thanks to Think Written for the writing prompt.
Love ought to be reciprocal. Yes? Right? Remember Teddy Pendergrass’s 50/50 (or is’t 70/30 or 60/40) love song? Who wants to be the one holding on to the 30 or 40 in a relationship when better is imminent or probable? Only a few exceptional instances will qualify; like a parental love. Even at that, some parents have been known to be justifiably callous or exercised tough love. (A post for another day.)
For today’s post, Unrequited love in any relationship sucks.
Sometimes we equate love for all the other things such as infatuation, lust, passion, crush, or simply lasciviousness. These can emanate from one or both people and we eventually find ourselves in unrequited love.
Unrequited love in any relationship sucks and is a mental torture.ThinkerTalker
It may have begun as a requited affair or of mutual consent, but along the way, things and life happened, people changed and eyes strayed elsewhere, and left our love unrequited. It becomes troubling. Gazillion questions run amok in our minds chiefly resting on two “what did I do to deserve this or the change and straying?” and “where did I go wrong?”
Effects of Unrequited Love
The receiving person (of the unrequited love) does what most people do; internalizes, withdraws, and blames self for the other person’s unbecoming attitude. Unfortunately, the embarrassment is blatant to all leaving one feeling unworthy, sapped confidence from ours and others reactions, and our esteem turning low. We feel deserted, betrayed, and left alone to deal with it. You got yourself into the situation, now how do you get yourself out?
What do you do?
What do you do? Do you stay put trying to win the other person back, make excuses, or do you leave with or without packing your bags and say “hasta la vista?!”
Is it escapism or humanism to blame ourselves for other people’s shortcomings? Is it as a first stop of self-reflection or second-guessing ourselves that we are less deserving of better? Everyone reacts differently. However you react and whatever it is,
- First admit your part – how you got into the relationship. It’s time for deep reflection. Most often, the handwritings were on the wall, but passion or desire blindfolded you from clarity,
- Ask for forgiveness. It is the first step to wholeness. Better yet, forgive the other person because it is only then you can be objective in moving forward.
- Ask God for help. You need Him more now than ever. It’s definitely not a time to be mad at God. “Why didn’t He stop me?” “Why did he allow me?” Or better still, “why didn’t he knock him/her on the head to wake up?” Remember, or if you don’t already know, there’s the permissible will of God where He allows us to do what we desire as a result of our resistance to where He’s steering us.
- Ask family and friends also for help. Still, it’s not the time to be mad at them for not telling you. There’s another time for that.
- Don’t run (or jump) prematurely into another relationship.
- Give yourself time to heal. It is only then that you will most likely not repeat the experience.
- And finally, be wise and seek God before starting or getting into the next relationship.
I am so grateful that God is not a man.
Unrequited Love towards God
Now imagine how Father God, your Creator feels when His love is either ignored, unwarranted , or unembraced. Lack-luster love towards God is the epitome of unrequited love. We’ve given Him no love at all, while some have only given Him the minimal. God is holding on to the 30 and 40 of our love while wishing you’d give Him the 100. Yet He loves us so.
But I am glad that God does not abandon us when His love is unrequited. Every other unrequited love pales significantly in comparison. God is there all along patiently waiting for the day we will wake up to realism (the doctrine that universals have a real objective existence) and our need of Him.
Wake up or Woke
And so it is as well when we find ourselves in earthly unrequited love. We allow ourselves to go roller-coasting through all the e-motions until realization steps in. We can humbly or boldly state that “I’m better than this and deserve the best.”
So whosoever is not returning your love, woke or wake up, and know that you deserve better. There might be a reason. Maybe it is the “invisible hands” blocking him/her from seeing the beauty (I don’t mean the physical/facial) God created and he/she is being prevented from blocking your real soulmate. Just maybe because all things are working together for your good.
Remember God loves you unconditionally. He loves you today, loved you yesterday, and will love you forever. Embrace His love today and now. He is waiting on you to return His love; turning the unrequited to Requited Love. Isn’t that what we all desire?
Have you experienced unrequited love (loving someone who doesn’t love you back) and would like to share? Please do so in the comments. Thanks