I have attended more weddings this year than I have in a very long time. I marvel at the intense resources (money, efforts, and time) that goes into planning weddings and begin to wonder why such efforts aren’t put into sustaining the marriage.

Wedding is only the beginning and it can be paralleled to buying a plant or building a house. You took the time to drive to the garden center, selected the plant you wanted, paid for it and took it home. What happens to that plant if you neglected it? You guessed right – it will eventually die. Likewise, a beautiful home built without regular maintenance will eventually dilapidate. So also is a marriage left untended.

So, how can one keep a marriage healthy, happy and alive?

Tips on how to keep your marriage alive are crucial whether you are still dating or married. However, I realize that giving tips on marriage, in a part of the world where marriage is for the birds, is comical. But I’m sure there are still those who desire a healthy and successful marriage. If you’re one of those, please read on. Others can exit on to the FreeLove Highway.

1. Strong Foundation

Marriage is a lifelong commitment; it requires effort and constant nurturing to sustain it and thrive. Before saying ‘Yes’ or ‘I do,’ you need to build a strong foundation that aligns with your values. By investing in your relationship in its earlier stages, you can increase the chances of a fulfilling marriage. In this article, we will explore key aspects of maintaining a vibrant marriage from its early stages of dating. If you are ready to embark on the journey of building a lasting and meaningful partnership, read on. I hope you discover valuable insights and strategies on how to keep your marriage alive. And if you have additional tips, please share in the Comments.

Before diving into a committed relationship, spend time with your partner so you can know each other on a deeper level. This involves more than just surface-level conversation and activities. Engage in meaningful discussions about your values, goals, and aspirations. Additionally, understand each other’s perspectives on important topics such as children (do you want any, if yes how many, if not why not), finances (have financial goals together such as saving for your first home together, kids, cars, vacations, etc., also if you’d be maintaining a joint account, joint tax returns, etc,), career, lifestyle choices, including your parents and extended families. By aligning your values and long-term plans early on, you set a strong foundation for a successful marriage.

Why is this important and how can it keep your marriage alive?

Setting a strong foundation in any aspect of your life matters! It’s like building your house/marriage on the rocks that becomes indestructible by neither the wind, nor streams, nor rain.

As many put it, marriage is not a bed of roses. But, it can be the best experience ever if you set its foundations right. The setting of the foundation starts when you are still dating. You need to be wise when choosing who to date, before saying ‘yes’, and before making a life-long commitment. Figure out how you want to build your house and who you want to build it with. By aligning your values and putting them into practice in your relationship, you create a solid foundation upon which your marriage can withstand the storms of life. Just as a house built on a rock remains steadfast, a relationship founded on long-term plans has a higher chance of enduring challenges.

2. Effective Communication

Communication is the cornerstone of any thriving relationship, especially in a marriage. Building effective communication skills is essential for resolving conflicts, expressing emotions, and fostering understanding between partners. These skills include active listening, empathy, and clear expression of thoughts and feelings. You must make it a priority to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Create a safe and non-judgmental space for discussions, opinions, and other conversations that concern the two of you. Regularly check in with each other, address concerns promptly, and celebrate achievements together.

Effective communication spices your relationship and strengthens the bond between the two of you. Texting your partner to find out how they are doing is powerful in its own way. You can’t imagine the beautiful smile on their faces when they read a text that shows they are special. This is a simple, but very powerful tip that can go a long way in keeping your marriage alive. Do not go a whole day without texting or calling your partner to show them that they matter to you. This is part of effective communication in relationships and marriages. It’s not always about discussions and addressing concerns.

3. Maintain Intimacy

Tips on how to keep your marriage alive also include raising the bar of your intimacy. Intimacy plays a crucial role in keeping a marriage alive. It goes beyond physical attraction and involves emotional and intellectual connection as well. Cultivate intimacy by expressing love, appreciation, and affection for your partner regularly. Marriage counseling experts say it is one of the three stones that keep marriages alive. Therefore, do not let the fire burn out. Plan regular date nights, engage in activities you both enjoy, and create shared memories. Additionally, keep the flame alive by exploring each other’s interests and trying new experiences together.

4. Pursue Growth and Development

A successful relationship requires both partners to embrace personal growth and encourage each other’s development.

Be proud of each other by improving yourselves and excelling in every area of your lives. You are both a part of the journey to growth and success. Continual growth and learning together will foster a deeper connection and keep your marriage thriving. There is nothing as admirable as a couple celebrating their journey of success and excellence together.

• Support your partner’s goals and aspirations,
• Take an active interest in each other’s pursuits,
• Celebrate individual achievements and provide a nurturing environment for personal growth,
• Invest in your personal developments, as it contributes to your overall well-being and strengthens your relationship,
• Set goals and visions, and work hard towards achieving them.

5. Overcome Challenges Together

No relationship or marriage is without challenges. It’s essential to approach difficulties as a team and face them head-on rather than avoiding or ignoring them. “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). Carry each other’s burdens and join forces when challenges come your way. Provide a shoulder for each other to lean on should either feel weary, burdened, or overwhelmed by circumstances.

Additionally, maintain open lines of communication during tough times and seek professional help if needed. Remember that facing challenges together strengthens your bond and can lead to personal and relational growth. With patience, understanding, and a shared commitment, you can overcome obstacles and build a thriving marriage.

6. Pray Together

A famous quote reads, “A family that prays together stays together.” This is as true as it reads, and it works in ways that are beyond our imagination. As a couple, set a specific time to pray together every day. Hold your hands and pray for each other, for your family, and for your other needs.

Praying together reinforces the idea of unity and teamwork within a relationship. It symbolizes a shared commitment to a higher purpose and demonstrates the willingness to face life’s joys and trials together. By coming together in prayer, couples affirm their dedication to supporting and uplifting each other. This fosters a strong sense of partnership and solidarity as they share in a spiritual experience that transcends the everyday concerns of life. This shared spiritual connection can deepen the bond between couples; for where God is, there is love.

7. Have Marriage Mentors

We have professional and spiritual mentors. Why not marriage mentors. Marriage mentors are other couples who are both successfully married and have been married longer years. Having them to share their experiences (both positive and negative) will help to strengthen yours and to avoid certain marital pitfalls.

8. Put God First

Being equally yoked on the same spiritual path helps to keep a marriage alive. Involve God and put Him first at the onset of your relationship (from dating) recognizing that God is the author and finisher of not only your faith, but also your life /lives and marriage. God designed marriage, and you must understand His divine purpose for it. By aligning yourself with God’s will, you can build a strong foundation for a thrilling marriage.

You can put God first by regularly studying the Bible together, and individually. The Scriptures provide valuable insights and principles for building a strong marriage. Find out what God says about marriage and seek to apply the teachings of the Bible to your relationship.

Additionally, cultivate virtues such as love, forgiveness, patience, kindness, and selflessness. Encourage each other to grow spiritually by attending church, participating in Bible studies, attending couples’ seminars, and engaging in personal devotions. This shared commitment to spiritual growth will strengthen your bond as a couple.

Conclusion

Keeping your marriage alive and fulfilling requires dedication, effort, and continuous growth. By practicing the above strategies, you can keep your marriage alive and thriving. Remember, the journey of a lasting partnership begins before saying ‘Yes’ or ‘I do.’ So take the time to truly know your partner, align your values, and foster a strong foundation. Embrace the challenges that come your way; view them as opportunities for growth, and cherish the love and connection that you share.