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From Rodney King to George Floyd

People what is going on? This is an extremely sensitive topic/issue. But we need to talk about it and seek to find a lasting solution. Change begins with dialogue (or conversation).

“The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.”

Albert Einstein

. . .

Various demonstrations because of the umpteenth killing of a young unarmed black man, George Floyd, by an ex-police officer, have been ongoing from Minneapolis to New York, Philadelphia, Washington, Chicago, San Francisco, Oakland, Emeryville, San Jose, Los Angeles. Which city is next? Some of these demonstrations were peaceful, but most were rowdy. Even the ones that began peacefully, eventually took another turn. These demonstrations are so disturbing yet, though apropos. What we are witnessing is a combination of an avalanche of frustrations and opportunists seizing the moment.  

Things fall apart and the center cannot hold ... sheer anarchy is loosed upon the land!
- Chinua Achebe, a Nigerian novelist
Courtesy of kidzone.ws

People, there is a root cause. We have a systemic problem that needs an urgent systemic solution. Pruning a tree when done right, encourages new growth, greener leaves, stronger branches, and healthier twigs and trunks. Simultaneously, to kill a tree, like any systemic issue, we need to deal with it at its roots. Government (departments such as the legal system and law enforcement agencies) keep treating the symptoms rather than the cause. We need to deal with the root cause.

Systemic: Bias, Problem, Solution?

Systemic is anything relating to the entire system rather than a part of it. Undoubtedly, we have systemic problems in America that have shown bias in its solutions or lack of solutions. As such, as Simplicable, states, there is both a systemic bias and systemic problem and offers the following definitions:

“Systemic Bias: a society, culture, or large system that exhibits bias. This essentially means that a large system produces sub-optimal decisions that are analogous to a person …

Systemic Problem: a problem that infects an entire society, culture, or system.” 

(Reference: https://simplicable.com/new/systemic)

Therefore, a systemic problem requires a systemic solution. As I said this, I found another site, https://thenextsystem.org/about-next-system-project, that agreed with me. This site has noteworthy information relevant to our current topic and issue. What we need is a systemic solution to systemic problems and biases in America. A systemic solution, therefore, is a solution that resolves root causes.

This blog is not about how we go about resolving all the issues.  

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”

Desmond Tutu, former Archbishop of South Africa

Let us talk about the way the demonstrations were conducted in certain cities. I speak against injustice of any kind. Looting and vandalism is also an injustice. Looting and vandalism is not the answer and it also has to be condemned else we would be speaking from both sides of our mouth. Neither the killings of anyone, be they black, white, brown, purple, or red nor the vagrant looting of stores and burning of cars or stores nor anyone claiming supremacy over another nor the police driving into the mob is acceptable! People, two wrongs not a right make!! All sides claim to be fighting for their lives and right. If we continue this way, whose life is going to remain? All the acts must be condemned in no unjustifiable manner.   

https://abcnews.go.com/US/george-floyd-protest-updates-joe-biden-nationwide-protests/story?id=70979091

https://www.foxnews.com/us/protests-demanding-justice-for-george-floyd-ramp-up-again-nationwide

Demonstrations can be peacefully done. It has been done several times in the past; see [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_resistance]. We all are still reeling from the effects of COVID-19. The recent violent demonstrations surely take us back a few more years.  

. . .

Is there another way?

Let us look to a brighter future. Ask any sprinter, anyone running a race does not look back – they lose time and never win the race by so doing. We all need to stop looking back in time except to analyze what happened and use it as a catalyst for the future. Yes, it is easier said than done. I know. But, let us take a cue from China/the Chinese economic turnaround. Though China is not currently our best political ally at the moment [https://www.state.gov/u-s-china-bilateral-relations-the-lessons-of-history/], the country underwent systemic changes that transformed “complex number of reforms in China’s fiscal, financial, enterprise, governance and legal systems and the ability for the government to be able to flexibly respond to the unintended consequences of these changes. This transformation has been accompanied by high levels of industrialization and urbanization, a process that has influenced every aspect of China’s society, culture, and economy.” [ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Economic_history_of_China_(1949%E2%80%93present) ]

That said, China, like any other economy, can still be said to be unfulfilled in other areas.  

Two wrongs not a right make

True, many of us have been subjected to several wrongs. So, have I. Many of us have had our loved ones untimely snatched from us; so have I. I have been let go of my job due to what was apparent racism – it hurts that it was done and that I felt helpless to fight back. But I did not burn down the building, neither did I drove back to the place to run down anyone. So please do not yell at me or ask for my head on a platter. I honestly can relate to both sides of the equation.

Frustration stems in when one witnesses the incessant injustices, racism, inhumane brutalities and killings of anyone. African Americans generally have been dealt a harder blow. And it is perceived that the men have been particularly targeted. From Rodney King to George Floyd, it appears that the brutalities and killings of African American men have been unnecessarily on the rise. However, except I conduct the research, I cannot use the data being presented as conclusive because data, research, and conclusions can be subjective. Each data (or survey results) can be manipulated to present whatever message the researcher wants to communicate to its readers/users.  Having said that, here’s couple of charts that I found.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/585152/people-shot-to-death-by-us-police-by-race/

https://mappingpoliceviolence.org/

The truth is that law enforcement officers are killed almost daily as well in their line of duty. Sadly, because of the animosity and recent tensions, these deaths go unnoticed and no one seems to care; except the affected’s family. Check the FBI https://www.fbi.gov/services/cjis/ucr/leoka and The Peace Officer Safety Institute https://leoka.org/ for current data.

Is revolution the answer?

Some think that we probably need a revolution. Maybe we do. I do not know neither am I advocating for it. But do we all understand what revolution is?  According to Merriam Webster online dictionary, Revolution is:

  • 2a: a sudden, radical, or complete change
  • b: a fundamental change in a political organization especiallythe overthrow or renunciation of one government or ruler and the substitution of another by the governed
  • c: activity or movement designed to effect fundamental changes in the socioeconomic situation
  • d: a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing somethinga change of paradigm 
  • e: a changeover in use or preference …

(Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Revolution. In Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved May 31, 2020, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/revolution)

. . .

Revolution is a change, but it does not necessarily have to be bloody or rambunctious. The revolution that we need is a drastic change from the manner that things are done. This can be done by a 360-degree change in our policies; legal, law enforcement, medical, education, etc. I am not talking about the type of change that was done with diversity reforms (another topic for another day), but one sincere change that must have consequences for non-conformance.   

Where are the good men and women?

Finally, Abraham Lincoln once said, “All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.” This quote has been echoed by others such that no one really knows its original owner.

Those who do nothing while witnessing injustice and wrong-doing do worse than those who commit acts of injustice. The privileged have a responsibility to do what they know is right. Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King

Good men (and, of course, women) everywhere need to rise to speak the truth. But good men (and women) should not merely jump on the bandwagon, but strive to seek to truly find a solution to the problem. And good people should not be paying others to confuse the land. It is akin to folks being paid to carry placards as long as we have activists. During the years of my active job search, I had called some “paid-same-day” ads that happened to be that our job would be to carry placards about issues. So, I know that this does happen.

For every demonstration, there is always someone championing it either overtly or covertly.

The truth is that those who are instigating the chaos are not affected by it. Like we always say, “people in high places” are powerful, wealthy, and influential. They have friends everywhere who they can call upon to either support or carry out their bidding. In addition, these people have high security that prevents the rioting masses from getting to them.

To the people in high places, secretly instigating all these, please stop. If you think no one knows who you are or know that you are doing it, do not be deceived because God, the Creator of the universe, is not mocked and sees what is done in secret.  

Let’s not continue to hurt ourselves

This is an extremely sensitive issue to write or talk about. But talk, we should, and talk we shall.

No one wants to be at the receiving end of injustice. Anyone who has been on that side knows what it feels like and it’s surely not good. By the same token, anyone who has never experienced injustice certainly does not know what it feels like.

The brutalities, violent demonstrations, and looting is not the way to honor the dead neither will it bring the dead back. I say this as apologetically and softly as I can. My heart goes out to everyone who has lost a son on this journey to freedom. May their spirit live forever and pave the way for true freedom for all.

. . .

Every good man (and woman) please stand against the injustice, racism, brutality, and senseless killings of black men, minorities, and people generally. It is sad that after over sixty years of Martin Luther King’s “Walk for Freedom” speech, we are here still trying to walk the freedom! 

Coincidentally or ironically, depending on the way you view it, MLK’s speech occurred in May in 1956! [https://kinginstitute.stanford.edu/king-papers/documents/walk-freedom]. Any surprise – go figure!

We can still make MLK (and Rosa Parks) proud, not by giving in to political maneuverings that disrupts our economy, which in turn affects all of us, but by choosing to do demonstrations peacefully. 

Peace people!

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Dear younger me

If I knew then what I know now, I would have done many things differently. Yet, no regrets. The paths were meant for me to take as I now realized the the invisible Sovereign hands were guarding, guiding, and steering me all along.

10 things you need to learn sooner in life

1. Cultivate a relationship with God

I believed that there is a God. As a kid, I talked to an invisible being but did not know who I was talking to until I became a Christian in my later adult life. How I wish I knew Him sooner. Learning early in life the order of honor (God first, family second, all others next) would help put everything else in the right perspective. Find Him sooner.

2. Listen more to your parents and spend quality time with them

Honoring one’s parents is the first commandment with a promise. Though I disagreed occasionally with my parents, I never disrespected them. I loved them dearly. As a parent, I recognize that parents are not always right. The truth is that parents are also learning-on-the-job as they raise their children. But most parents desire the best for their children, young or adult, and might sometimes not know how to communicate those desires in a manner that the children might understand.

I never lived with my mother and missed the mother-daughter bonding and connection. Though I had a strong father-daughter relationship, I acknowledge that the roles of fathers and mothers are so uniquely different yet interconnected and one cannot be substituted for the other.

Spend quality time with your parents now and, when you leave home, visit them frequently.

3. Listen more to your instincts (intuition, gut feeling, etc.)

Whatever you call it, know that it is a gift that will work the more you use it. Pay attention to it, accept it, follow it, and don’t second-guess yourself or your gift.

The first step toward change is awareness. The second is acceptance.”

Nathaniel Branden

4. Speak the truth more in love rather than abrasively

No one wants to hear your truth until they understand you care for them. You might be right, but might shut-off people with loud or harsh words. The truth spoken in love, coupled with soft responses, are a true disarming pair.

5. Always let your parents/family know who your friends are

My grandmother always advised that there were different categories of friendships: acquaintances (slight, but not close friends), colleagues (work but not necessarily close friends), activity friends (e.g. sports, party, etc.), and buddies (close friends). Know who your friends are. Never lump them all in one bucket and never be friends with anyone you will not be proud to take home or introduce to your parents. Note that not all friends will pick up your call or be enthused to open their doors to you when you knock at 3:00 a.m. Categorizing your friends will also help you avoid unnecessary disappointments.

Invite your friends home so your family knows who you’re hanging out with. You’ll be glad you did.

6. Just as there is a reason why meals are differentiated breakfast, lunch, and dinner, there’s a reason why you ought to do life in the right order: go to school (middle, high, college) before getting married or having babies

Order is the law of life and life is manageable when the sequences are followed. True, there are rare exceptions to all sequences, but except you’re a genius in your craft, those exceptions might not apply to you.

If within your power, choose to complete your education first before marriage and starting a family.

7. Life development is essential, may be critical, in these areas – educationally, financially, physically, and spiritually

Decide on what you want to study, how long you’d like to study (for example, 1st degree, 2nd, PhD, JD, two 2nd degree, add a vocational, etc.) and go for it.

Schools have never been known to teach financial education; wish it will be added to the k – 12 curricula. Nonetheless, there is some teaching you can do on your own. Research and learn it sooner. What is the best saving instrument? What does the FICO score mean? What do I need to do to increase my score? What are the requirements for buying a car or house?

Physical development includes healthy habits (eating, sleeping, playing, exercising, no drugs, etc.). It also includes your regular wellness check-ups. Do your part early and your body will serve you longer.

Everyone is yearning for things in life that can only be satisfied with the knowledge of and intimacy with God. As a Christian, how I wish that everyone was or became a Christian. However, connecting with God is personal. Find yours. As you take time to develop yourself in other areas, it is equally important to develop yourself spiritual for a balanced life.

8. Are you cut out for marriage or singleness?

“There are eunuchs that are made by God; there are those made by men, and there are those having made themselves so for the kingdom of heaven’s sake …”

Matthew 19:12 KJV (King James’ Version)

Know what each (institute; yes they’re both institutes!) entails; responsibilities, benefits, and disadvantages, etc. and be prepared to work it truthfully till the end; except, of course, God redirects your steps.

9. Look for potentials in your mate and not necessarily the cool dude or prettiest girl in town. Not that this is bad of itself, but it is vanity

If you decide that marriage is for you, look for potentials with the longer-term in mind. Ask yourself if your partner is the type of man or woman whom you’d be happy with for the rest of your life, do you have the same values or anything in common, will you still be the loving spouse when the physical characteristics change such as becoming bald, putting on weight, etc.?

10. Be intentional about success.

Think early about being successful in life. What does success mean to you? Paint a picture of it and pursue it relentlessly.

. . .

All the best to you, My Younger Me. I wish I knew these sooner in my own life journey.

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Results are in for the NBA All Stars and Reserves

Credits: NBA.com / The Starters
Credits: NBA.com / The Reserves

Well, well, well. The results are here and they’re final. LeBron James (LBJ) of LA Lakers and Kevin Durant (KD) of Brooklyn Nets lead the starter votes and head the West and East Teams respectively. The votes poured in from the fans and, according to NBA, “current NBA players and a media panel.” There was a tie that had to be decided by fan votes. This was specifically noted for votes between Damian Lillard of the Portland Blazers and Luka Dončić of the Dallas Mavericks.

The Reserves were “selected by the NBA’s head coaches.” The two captains, LBJ and KD, will select their teams prior to the NBA All Star Game scheduled for March 7, 2021. Due to covid, it will be a one-day event starting that will also include a Dunk contest.

Per NBA, “Philadelphia head coach Doc Rivers and his staff have earned the spot to coach Team Durant. Utah head coach Quin Snyder and his staff have earned the spot to coach Team LeBron.”

Click on the link to read all about the starters and reserves

Also found the below links that show details of the votes breakdown. It helps understand the player selection in a tie.

Eastern Conference Frontcourt

Eastern Conference Guards

Western Conference Frontcourt

Western Conference Guards

As you can see from the above links, using the guards as an example, Steph Curry of the Golden State Warriors topped the overall votes for guards. However, the selection had to include two guards each from both the Western and Eastern Conferences. It also explains why Bradley Beal, Kyrie Irving, and Luka Doncic made the starter list guards over Damian Lillard. This however was not the case with the frontcourts as the top three players were selected from both Conferences.

Anyways, unfortunately, “there will be no fan activities, ticketed events or hospitality functions as part of All-Star.” But we can watch at home and try to be on the virtual cheering teams. Hope you’ll be there.

Being Reasonable

“In everyday life, we ask each other to be reasonable, and we fault unreasonable behavior in ourselves and others. Moreover, the Anglo-American legal system makes extensive use of the “reasonable person standard” in everything from negligence to administrative law. What is it to be a reasonable person? What do we mean by “reasonable”?”

. . .

The above is a brief course description of the class, “Being Reasonable.” I have always wanted to take classes in Philosophy to satisfy my learning curiosity/developments. I came across the course description while researching colleges. It’s being taught at one of America’s top colleges. I would love to take the class at the college, but I thought to share the course title and description which I think are interesting.

Philosophy is deep and involves lots of independence of the mind. Just look at the list of philosophical schools of thoughts. I do not need a degree in Philosophy so I will not avail myself of all the schools of thoughts. However, I think it interesting to know that tons of our rationales and beliefs are philosophically-based.

What does “Reasonable” Mean?

We start with the Dictionary’s definition:

Next, according to Vocabulary.com, “If you’re reasonable, you have good sense and judgment. A reasonable decision is rational and thought out, like your mom’s reasonable rule about not eating crumbly foods in her car. When you describe a store’s prices as reasonable, you mean they’re fair — not too high. And if you are given a reasonable amount of time to do a project for school, you have no excuse for it being late.”

As the course description stated, there’s the “reasonable person standard,” in law. According to Cornell University’s Department of Law, it means:

“Just, rational, appropriate, ordinary, or usual in the circumstances. It may refer to care, cause, compensation, doubt (in a criminal trial), and a host of other actions or activities. In the law of negligence, for example, the reasonable person standard is the standard of care that a reasonably prudent person would observe under a given set of circumstances. An individual who subscribes to such standards can avoid liability for negligence.”

I have provided two links for your reading pleasure; one from a philosophical view and the other from an actuarial view.

Conclusion

There is actually no conclusion to reasonability or being reasonable. As you can see, being reasonable depends on the hat one is wearing at the point the statement is made. Since each industry views “reasonable” from its own perspective, is it safe to say that we all will have varied thoughts and views for what we consider as Being Reasonable?

What are your thoughts on this? Please comment below. Thanks.

Financial Monday Nuggets: How would you spend a windfall of $1.5 million

Credits: Eric Prouzet / Unsplash

How would you spend a windfall of $1.5 million if it fell in your hands today?

Let’s talk.

The time to think about $1.5 million is when you don’t have it because you’ll have the time to allocate and fine-tune its use before it shows up in your hands.

If you had $1.5 million today, how will you utilize it?

We’ve all heard of various people such as athletes and lottery winners who have had windfalls of money literarily. Some by a dint of big and multi-year contracts and or hard work, while others by sheer “luck” falling in their laps only to be “begging” and/or homeless and back to square one within a short period of time; sometimes in as short as a year. I hope that no one reading this post will have such an experience.

So, let’s talk family. If you won $1.5 million, were gifted or “luckily” sign a multi-year contract to its tune or more, how would you spend it?

This post is to steer our hearts, minds, and heads to think and effect a sustainable outcome. How many years will you stretch the $1.5 million to work for you, and your family if you have children?

. . .

Technically, most of us would have made over $1 million in the course of our working lifetime. For example, a college grad starting work right out of college, earning $25,000 per year, and working straight till retirement – p.s. college grads earn much more in the USA, except it’s a sales job base salary which of course has bonuses attached. Others making much more would make the $1 million in lesser number of years. But few, or none, of us have $1 million in total assets. 😓

A paradigm is required to be able to effectively manage money. Your attitude towards (or with) money will often determine whether money flows to and stays with you.

Let’s think on the post’s question today, through the week, and hope that the question stays with us and propels us to fruitful financial action. 😊

Jesus Ministry: Dreams

Credits: Sharon McCutcheon / Unsplash

Do you dream? I mean the real dream (the noun). Not the act of you thinking and imagining what could be. Those are good too as was Disney was built on the foundations of imagination and fantasy were.

But today, I want to talk about the Dreams in which you lay down, shut your eyes, and within an hour or so, involuntarily start seeing people and things, while sleeping. Yes, that one. Do you experience that? Let’s talk about it.

What are Dreams?

Biblically, God has been known to speak to His people in and through dreams. (Numbers 12:6, Job 33:14-30). Christians are too familiar with Joseph and his dreams (Genesis 37), King Nebuchadnezzar and the three Hebrew boys (Daniel 2), including Pharaoh and his butler and baker (Genesis 40). In fact, the warning (or advice) to protect baby Jesus came through a dream to Joseph (Matthew 2:19-21). Dreams is also one of the signs of God pouring out His Spirit on earth (Acts 2:17). All these, in my opinion, demonstrate the importance of Dreams.

Scientifically, dreams have been acknowledged as occurring during sleep and are often referred to as REM (rapid eye movements.). However, a research admits that “the initial equation of REM sleep with dreaming has been shown to be inaccurate.” And though I disagree with the research’s conclusion that “dreaming may be closely related to imagination, where brain activity presumably flows in a “top-down” manner,” I somewhat agree that in the scientific world “disconnection from the external environment when dreaming poses a central unsolved paradox, the answer to which may be instrumental for understanding dreams.”

Nonetheless, dreams are so important that the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Strokes (NINDS) wrote about it. Not to state that it is a disorder, but to draw your attention to the importance of sleep which is where and when dreams occur. Click here to read more.

So, what are Dreams? I’m glad you asked. The dictionary has various definitions.

Contrary to the dictionary’s definition, however, research has confirmed that dreams are involuntary.

“Dreams show that our brain, disconnected from the environment, can generate by itself an entire world of conscious experiences.”

My interpretation of this is that we do have conscious experiences though unconscious while sleeping. Is this your interpretation as well? If not, please comment.

Could dreams therefore be paranormal? 🤔

Here’s my definition of Dreams:

An involuntary visualization of succession of events or objects that reveal either God or others’ planned actions, whether good or bad, for you for the present or future. These visualization can also reveal past events that can help with underlying issues in one’s life. They can also be in form of a warning or direction.

. . .

I propose that we all would have dreamed at least once in our lifetime. Also, that dreams are not restricted to any particular one – everyone is capable of dreaming; Christians, Moslems, even non-believers, old and young, male and female.

Some people remember their dreams even years after, while several others do not or barely remember but will often have de ja vu moments later in real life. Some people have multiple dreams during the night. Some of those dreams might be a series of short continuous or different dreams. Others dream occasionally. Some dream in color (God/divine), others dream in black and white, yet some have both types of dreams. I propose to you that the more you remember your dreams, the more God will send them your way. However, if you’re one who says “I don’t dream.” It is either that you do not remember them or you are not interested in what God is trying to show or tell you. God speaks and is still speaking but your antenna might be dull or not tuned to His. You can change that. If you are one who doesn’t remember his or her dreams, a first starting point is drawing nearer to God; start reading your Bible, and by asking God to talk to you.

I believe that Dreams are significant especially to one’s spiritual life. I also believe that they reveal tangible clues.

I hope this blesses you. Feel free to comment. Thanks for reading.

How do you like your Beans? 😍

The above pictures show cooked Beans in its whole form, cooked with corn, mashed, ground and steamed, and ground and fried.

. . .

Beans come in a variety of types. It has been stated that, globally, there are 40,000 types of beans. The most common ones in the U.S. include:

  • Red (Kidney) beans
  • Black-eyed beans
  • Black beans
  • Orange beans
  • Pinto beans
  • Lentils.

Black-eyed peas was used to cook the above. Orange beans can also be used.

. . .

Beans is a staple in some countries around the world. It is rich in nutrients such as protein, iron, folic acid, thiamin, and calcium. It is also highly recommended as dietary additions for its health benefits in controlling diabetes, heart, cancer, and in weight management.

How do you like your Beans?

Put Your Rice Cooker To More Use

I am so grateful for my rice cooker. My old faithful. It’s only 4-quarts in size, but it cooks everything I want it to. It also saves me time. I still use it today.

I have used it to cook

  • potatoes,
  • yam,
  • spaghetti / pasta,
  • beans, and
  • eggs.

Other items I can cook in a regular pot, but beans is a lot easier and faster to cook in a rice cooker. I also once used the rice cooker to cook curried chicken, on a trip, when I got tied of eating out. 😊 I am sure that it can cook more if we try it. Why don’t you try it.

. . .

I remember the years that I had to cook rice and constantly had to watch it so that it doesn’t steam to overflowing and or burn? Some days it seemed that I just cannot cook simple steamed rice because the consistency is off – sometimes too hard (sort of undone), other times too soft (overcooked.) The rice cooker has saved all that for, when the right amount of water is added, it helps balance the texture and can prevent the rice from burning as it automatically shuts itself off.

I love the rice cooker for other reasons. Chief among this is that I use it to cook other foods, besides rice. My small rice cooker is dedicated to “traveling.” I take it all around with me especially when on long trips “just in case.” Please note that this is not a recommendation for you to try it in hotels; always check with your hotel if it is permissible.

. . .

Do you have and use a rice cooker? If yes, do you use it to cook other foods besides rice? If so, what else do you use your rice cooker for? Please share your tips in the comments.
Thanks. 😍


It’s Sharing Thursday: #140 – Times of Testing

In the moments of turmoil are where you will find the most sincere peace. Discovering faith in the chaos makes it all worthwhile and these times of …

#140 – Times of Testing

Sharing #Brian Keith’s blog and site, #ImightbeaProphet. Brian’s posts have always been a God moment for me.

. . .

We all need God. I know that I need God everyday and every second of the day. I hope you do, too. God still speaks (a blog for another day). God is talking every day. His voice is both audible and soft. You can sense God via all your five senses. I just hope that our antenna is always connected and tuned to receive what He’s saying all the time. God also talks to us through people and sometimes animals and things. Reading Brian Keith’s daily blog is always like God speaking to me. One God Word can mean different things to different people simultaneously.

The past year has been undoubtedly challenging for everyone. The turmoil and chaos need not be re-emphasized. But as #ImightbeaProphet’s post states, it is in the midst that we have the most sincere peace. I hope you do.

“You are not a victim of circumstances, but are a preselected victor. The obstacles before you are no longer seen as predicaments of punishment, but are the processes of promotion asked for in prayer.

Visit #imightbeaprophet.com to read more of this blog as well as others, and support him. I hope that God speaks to you through Brian’s posts knowing that one God Word can mean different things to different people simultaneously. Blessings 😍

So the former President was acquitted but who was really responsible?

Credits: John Cameron / Unsplash

I’m sure that you’ve heard the news and I’m curious to hear your thoughts on it. I was musing on the news that the 45th President of USA, Mr. Donald Trump, was acquitted from impeachment because of a lack of two-thirds majority required to convict him. Were you happy for him or, like the majority of people, angry with the constitutional process?

The 45th President

There were three quarters regarding the 45th President: one quarter believed that Donald Trump is evil, racist, homophobic, and the (WOATs) worst-of-all-times President; another believed that he was bold, one who could stand up to anyone and one President who was needed for America; yet another quarter were clueless and could care less. Which quarter did you reside in?

We all knew that Donald Trump was impeached twice; once in 2019 while in office for “abuse of power and obstruction of justice”, and recently on January 13, 2021 for insurrection. This was after leaving the office of the President of the USA. This second impeachment was right in the middle of two critical events in the US; that is, exactly a week both before the swearing-in of new President, Joe Biden and after the insurrection. The second impeachment was strategically time-slated and makes Donald Trump the first US President ever to be impeached twice.

Again, like you know, the impeachment proceedings commenced on February 9th and ended with Donald Trump’s acquittal on February 13, 2021.

Did you move quarters after the acquittal or did you love your quarters more? Why?

Personally, I think both impeachments were merely political maneuverings that were unnecessary. I would have been both surprised and disappointed if the outcome of the second impeachment had passed. Why? I’m glad you asked.

  1. I watched both sessions pre-impeachment (to decide if it was constitutional to proceed) and the impeachment hearing itself. Both sides made compelling arguments for and against; some more emotional and convincing than others, that could move the easily-swayed to either side.
  2. It would have contradicted the new President’s call for unity.
  3. It would have lifted the Congress higher and as the optimal seating of the US power rather than the constitutionally-shared power among the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial.

. . .

Undoubtedly , there are consequences when a President is convicted of an impeachment. One of such is that he would have been barred from the GOP from ever running for office again. Another is that he would have been stripped of all benefits and privileges accorded to former Presidents. Read more here.

It is the latter that irks me.

It is a tremendous service of the highest order to be the President of the USA of which there are equally prestigious perks, honors, and most times sleepless nights as well as reliving the saying “uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.” Not all countries can boast of these perks. To have those perks removed as a result of the actions of some folks, in my opinion, would have been extremely unfair.

Now let’s talk about the real people who committed the insurrection.

Who was really responsible for the Insurrection?

One question we were often asked as children was “if someone asked you to put your hands in a blazing fire, would you?” Another was “if someone asked you to jump from the rooftop of a skyscraper, would you?” It didn’t mean that anyone would indeed say such things, but it was a learning statement for kids to think before they commit any act. By the time you’ve heard those statements repeatedly for years, you wise up knowing that if you erred, you cannot be exonerated telling your parents or teachers or any elder that someone made you do it. Smart kids would normally reply that you show them first what you were asking them to do aka learning by example!

My people, let’s not blame Donald Trump. It’s a free country where the Constitution upholds freedom of speech. The President, oh excuse me, the former President was free to open his mouth and freely utter anything he wants. The people we saw on the television, aired globally, were indeed adults and not children. Several could have been parents too. They chose to act without thinking. So I hope that Congress rightly goes after and prosecute the culprits we all saw breaking in, vandalizing government properties, and putting government officials’ lives in jeopardy, including any insiders who connived or collaborated with them.

I didn’t really believe that the former President’s legal team did a great job, but I am glad that Donald Trump was acquitted.

I hope that we all learned some lessons from it all. That we need to:

  1. Think before we vote going forward
  2. Think before we act foolishly based on someone else’s words or actions to us
  3. That Congress would think before wasting government funds conducting a wild goose chase.
  4. That Donald Trump would also now realize that no one is above the law and hopefully, should he choose to run in 2024 , if allowed, will dignifiedly act as a man of honor worthy to represent the USA, including would have learned to be a unifying leader and not a divisive one.

I ask again, were you angry or glad that Donald Trump was acquitted – please no partisan sentiments. Feel free to share your thoughts.

Thanks for reading.

Attitude towards Yourself

Credits: Valentina Conde / Unsplash

Attitude. Attitude. Attitude. We’ve all heard the saying that attitude is everything. It is your attitude that will determine your altitude. Attitude is the equalizer; it’s what makes one or breaks one.

“The greatest discovery of any generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes.”

William James, Harvard University

What is Attitude?

The best definition of Attitude that I found is from Myers’ Social Psychology where Attitude is defined as “a favorable or unfavorable evaluative reaction toward something or someone, exhibited in ones beliefs, feelings, or intended behavior. It is a social orientation – an underlying inclination to respond to something either favorably or unfavorably.”

Attitude towards Yourself

Attitude towards others is one thing, but I believe that our attitude towards ourselves are more important than those towards others. I also believe that there is a direct correlation in one’s attitude towards others and self. If you treat yourself better, you will undoubtedly treat others like you do yourself.

Attitude towards yourself:

  1. can be positive, negative, and/or neutral towards an “attitude object” (a person, behaviour or event).”
  2. is intangible, but the effects are tangible.
  3. is directly inferred and observable. So is the effects of attitude be it positive, negative, or neutral.
  4. is both implicit and explicit.

Attitude towards ourselves determine our attitude toward the world. If you believe that you can, guess what, you will. On the contrary, if you believe that you can’t, guess what, you will not. We shape our own lives and the shapes of them will be determined by our attitudes. For example, a person with a poor attitude towards learning, isn’t going to learn much until he or she changes his or her attitude.

. . .

We’re so familiar with ourselves we tend to take ourselves for granted and we tend to minimize the things we can accomplish, or the goals we can reach, and for some equally strange reason believe that others can accomplish things in our field which we cannot. There are literally millions of human beings living narrow, darkened, frustrated, and defensive lives simply because they take offensive and doubtful attitude towards themselves and as a result towards life in general.

Attitude is a reflection; a result of a person’s will. It is incalculably powerful. It can bring about marvelous results for us but we need to train it patiently day-by-day.

Let’s talk about the attitudes of successful people. The top 5% of people go sailing through life from one success to another and, even when they fail at something, shrug it off and head right out again. No matter who the person is or what he/she does, wherever you find a person doing an outstanding job and getting outstanding results, you will find a person with the right kind of attitude. These people take the attitude towards themselves that they can accomplish what they set out to accomplish. There’s no good reason on earth why they can’t be competent or successful. They have a healthy attitude towards themselves and, as a result, towards life and the things they want to accomplish. And because of this they achieve some remarkable things and they come to be successful, outstanding, brilliant, lucky, and a lot of other things. They’re quite frequently no more brilliant or outstanding than the majority of the people by whom they are surrounded but they did develop the right attitude and they found their accomplishments not too difficult and, many times, surprisingly easy simply because it seems that so few are really trying and really believing in themselves.

Successful people come in all shapes and sizes and in widely varying degrees of intelligence background and so on. But they all have one thing in common:

  1. they expect more good out of life than bad;
  2. they expect to succeed more than they fail;
  3. they radiate confidence assurance;
  4. they have about them the attitude of success in their walk, talk, and even dressing.

. . .

If you think you have a bad or negative attitude, you’re probably right. But choose to change it today. The distance between the negative attitude and positive is the amount it took you to read this sentence. Your intentional decision to change. Start today. Start now so you can reap the benefits of the best positive attitude towards yourself tomorrow.

Monday Financial Nuggets: Why You Need Money to Live a Full Life

The problem for my poor dad was that his attitude towards money kept him poor.
— Read on www.richdad.com/why-you-need-money

Sharing Robert Kiyosaki’s blog on “Why you need Money.”

. . .

I need money to live the abundant life. I hope you do too. Being wealthy is good, except of course, you’ve dedicated your life otherwise. To this, I normally say “if you don’t need the money, it’s okay for you to make it and give it to those who need it; be a philanthropist.” I hope you agree.

Money of itself is not evil. It is the love of money that is the root of all evil. Instances of roots of evil include when a person kills another or sidesteps others in contracts/deals, when spouses murder for insurance or hide assets from each other, when businesses arbitrarily raise prices (I can see some saying that that’s “profit” but profiteering is greed in my opinion), etc. The list is endless. I’m sure you can add to the list, too.

Kiyosaki’s foundational education focused on comparing his friend’s Dad (Rich Dad) to his biological Dad (Poor Dad) and concluding that our attitude (a blog for another day), with and towards money, makes all the difference. In one of his trainings, I remembered him saying that even though he’s wealthy, he has no problem buying a Porche but that when it comes to groceries, he has a hard time buying a higher-priced bottled water, he compares, wasting time before picking a cheaper one! I must confess that I do this too but I hope that I don’t waste as much time as he does. 😊

Anyhow, having money not only to do, pay, and buy the comforts of life, but also being able to help others especially those who can’t repay you, is the greatest benefit of being wealthy. Other benefits include:

  1. Donating to worthy causes
  1. Ensuring that your family is well taken care of during and after your lifetime
  1. Helping to build private infrastructures, such as schools, transportation, communication, hospitals, to name a few, that will help more people
  1. Vacationing to various places which is educative, and
  1. Random acts of kindness.

. . .

Is’t possible to financially help everyone? I guess not, but each one touching (helping) one will go a long way.

I pray that money will answer to you and that you will send it on divine errands; that is a tool to take care of your lifestyle and others.

Be blessed.

Love and Loving Yourself

Credits: Annie Spratt / Unsplash

Valentines Day

I believe that Valentines Day is a global celebration. Its origin, though still unknown, has been alluded to the Romans. Read here for a brief history.

Valentines Day, like several other holidays, have been grossly abused. Why wait till February 14th to show love? And why show love to just your spouse or significant other? Please show love everyday to everyone. And please love unconditionally. Thank you!

Love Your Children

Please shower your children daily with love and not only when they please you, obey you, and/or excel in school. The best time to really love your children is the time they mess up and recognize it themselves. Surprise them with the best of unconditional love that you can and have a heart-to-heart talk with them on another day.

If, as a parent, the only time your children feel loved is when they’re good, obey you, or get As, you’ve done a poor job, your love has become conditional, and your children will grow up trying to please everyone in order to be loved. The outcome unfortunately will be that they feel used and never find true unconditional love. Should they find true love, they can easily mess it up with the faulty-thinking that they have been conditioned to. Please don’t put your kids through that as either they won’t understand, never will understand, or will understand much later, why they are trying so hard to please but end up being rejected.

Love Yourself

Also, learn to love yourself. Loving oneself is not selfish. Date yourself while waiting to be dated. So, when the date shows up, he or she arrives to compliment you and not complement you. You were whole and complete before s/he showed up. I hope that you will be; if not start working towards being complete before showtime.

Yes, it’s great to be loved. Everyone loves to be loved, but unfortunately most people are dying waiting for Prince Charming and Princess Tantalizing. Yet we wonder why he or she hasn’t shown up. It’s because no one wants a dead mate! No one goes to the morgue or mortuary (pardon my acuteness) to look for a life mate. It’s never done!

“Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It’s sanity.”

Andre Gide

This is something I lived. I dated and loved myself (still do). Went to movies, concerts, dinners, games, and more places alone – it was my Me-time. Bought myself roses lots of times; sometimes one stem some days a bunch. When my daughters were in middle school, and their friends’ parents would tell them (or tell their children who would now pass it on!) that they saw their Mom, my younger daughter especially would say “Mom, stop doing this, they’d think that you have no friends.” My response was that “well, you let them know that I do but chose to do this alone.” I used to wonder why it bothered them so and then, one day I realized that their school’s buddy system might have been responsible. The school’s buddy system was that the kids couldn’t go anywhere, including bathrooms, alone – they have to go with a friend. Of course, the short trip to the bathroom, with a friend, was an extra recess for them. The kids loved this and enjoyed multiple trips on other errands. So they thought it was unsociable to go or do anything by oneself. But, they now know and understand better.

To me, it means being comfortable in my own skin.

Anyhow, do love yourself and love others unconditionally.

5 Benefits of Loving Yourself

Benefits of Loving Oneself according to UCSC Counseling and Psychological Services (UCSC CAPS) include:

  1. You validate yourself
  2. You give yourself unconditional respect, appreciation and evaluation of being great
  3. You consider yourself as worthy, valuable, and deserving of happiness.
  4. You’ll be able to take care of others because you’ve taken care of yourself first.
  5. You’ll have greater resilience to withstand any challenging life event or personal adversity.

Put Your Mask on First

We’ve heard this repeatedly onboard commercial aircrafts that, in case of an emergency, we need to put our mask on before trying to put the mask on any child flying with us or trying to help another passenger, right? I hope that you have; if not, you heard it here first 😊. It’s the same analogy with loving oneself. “It’s important to love yourself because of the simple truth that you cannot take care of others until you take care of yourself first.” Said another way, “you cannot give what you don’t have,” right?

Tons of people in relationships don’t know how to love the other person simply because they don’t have it in them. We all know (or have heard) of the resultant effects of loveless relationships. So, please do yourself and others a favor by starting to love yourself if you haven’t already been doing so.

Love God First

Finally, the first true love comes from God, our Creator. Without His love we are incapable of loving any other let alone ourselves. So, let us love Him indeed and allow His love to flow through us to ourselves and one another.

❤️✌🏾

Cooking with Unmis: Stewing Chicken Stew

Credits: Unmis

Ingredients:

  1. 1 whole Stewing chicken (or chicken parts from your grocery store)
  2. My Sauce
  3. Tomato Paste
  4. 1 large Onion
  5. Spices (Italian Seasoning, Thyme, Salt, Knorr Chicken cubes)

Boiling the Stewing Chicken

  1. Cut the chicken. (p.s. There’s an art to cutting this bird such that the parts are artistically distinguishable.)
  2. Put all parts in the cooking pot.
  3. Slice a quarter of the onion into the chicken
  4. Add a tablespoon of Italian seasoning, salt, and 2 cubes of Knorr Chicken Stock
  5. Add 3-4 cups of water
  6. Cover pot with lid
  7. Place on medium to high
  8. Boil for 20-30 minutes or till tender.

Making the Stew

  1. Pour 2-1/2 – 3 cups of My Sauce in a pot
  2. Slice a 1/4-1/8 onion
  3. Add spices (curry, thyme, white pepper, & paprika) as desired
  4. Add a cup of oil
  5. Cover and cook for 15-20 minutes or until the raw smell of pepper (from My Sauce) is gone.

Your Chicken Stew is ready. Eat over Steamed or Jollof Rice and/or add over Egusi or Ewedu when eating the Solids (such as Fufu, Eba, Farina, Amala, etc.)

Cooking with Unmis: Assorted Meat Stew

Credits: Unmis

Ingredients:

  • Beef (different parts of the cow or goat; including tripe, heart, legs, hides, etc.)
  • Oil (your choice)
  • Onions
  • Beef bouillons
  • Garlic
  • Garlic Salt or Iodized Salt
  • Italian Seasonings, Bay leaves, (optional)
  • Thyme, Curry, White Pepper, Paprika

Cooking Instructions:

Boiling the Meats

  1. Cut the beef parts into chunks (small to large chunks as desired)
  2. Place in cooking pot
  3. Slice in the onions
  4. Add garlic, garlic salt, salt, Italian seasoning, and the 2 beef bouillons
  5. Add 2-3 cups of water depending on the quantity of the beef
  6. Cover pot with lid
  7. Place on medium to high
  8. Boil for 20-30 minutes or till tender.

Making the Stew

  1. Pour 2-1/2 – 3 cups of My Sauce in a pot
  2. Slice a 1/4-1/8 onion
  3. Add spices (curry, thyme, white pepper, & paprika) as desired
  4. Add a cup of oil
  5. Cover and cook for 15-20 minutes or until the raw smell of pepper (from My Sauce) is gone.

Your Assorted Meat Stew is ready. Eat over rice and/or add over Egusi or Ewedu when eating the Solids (such as Fufu, Eba, Farina, Amala, etc.)

Friendly Friday – On The Way

On the way
to DESTINY
I sprinted as fast as I could go
Cos I gotta reach my DESTINATION;
But, dear oh dear, I was often slowed down
By Obstacles
But, tried as they often ferociously did
Obstacles never could hold me down.

On the way
to DESTINY
I passed several lampposts and billboards
Several seas and oceans too
And oh, I almost forgot, the mountains and valleys!

Those Obstacles sometimes called Frenemies were all too present
On the sidelines cheering me to sprint even faster
Many even sprinted with me
Some sprinted faster to outrun and challenged me.

There was a Voice all along the way
Whispering my name …

Those Obstacles sometimes called ReFocus
Were often present and they came to detour me
Sometimes ReFocus, and its entourage DeFocus,
Smiled and laughed with me
Brought Tea and Scones with them
And we’d party
And invited me to parties that I often wouldn’t have attended.
After it’s all over
I’d need a rest to recoup.

And I had to rest

The rest was much needed
Looking back, I realized that if Obstacles , Frenemies, ReFocus, DeFocus, Tea, and Scones hadn’t shown up
I’d have sprinted myself into a steel wall
And crashed into pieces.
And it will be the end of my DESTINATION
Yet DESTINY is still calling.

Oh there were few crashes
Accidents of sorts as well
On the way to DESTINY
One or two were my fault
The rest, though I was sternly focused,
Occurred from blind-sides.
Blind-sides of Life
by those closest to me
On the way to DESTINY.

So I had to rest.

After the rest
I regained some strength
To continue
On the way to DESTINY

This time, though,
All I could do was walk;
a much slower pace than I knew how to
I walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and
The Destination seemed never ending nor arriving, but still I walked and walked and walked and walked and Suddenly I felt a gush of wind on my legs.

And I began to sprint again!

Woohoo I’m alive again!

But, dear oh dear, that lone Voice
Ever whispering into my ears
Slow down,” “Slow down,” “Slow down.”
With a wave of my right hand
I swapped many times my left ear
Not to listen to that Voice.

I’d picked up race again
Thinking “you trying to make me lose this race, unh? I’ve been slowed down enough!”
But that Voice never relented.

Then I said out loud “I’m on the way to DESTINY and I gotta get to my Destination fast.”

And, dear oh dear, That Voice replied “No, my dear, you got it all wrong!
It is not a sprint. Don’t run the race of a lifetime in a short distance my child. For the race does not belong to the Swift.
Some days, I want you to run; not sprint,
Other days, I need you to just rest
For it is in resting that you can hear My next instructions to you
Yet other days, you must walk
All these help you arrive at your Destination the way I planned it
.”

I got this and I got you
On your way to DESTINY.
All will be well just as
I planned and orchestrated it.
Trust me
On your way to DESTINY.
All things will work out
For your Good;
Check-in with Me regularly
I got you
On your way
to DESTINY
.”

On the way
to DESTINY.

I thank you:
Obstacles, Frenemies, ReFocus, DeFocus, Tea, and Scones.
I thank you Accidents and Blindsides
For having shown up
On the way
to my DESTINY
For though you meant it
For my harm
It is all turning around
For my Good.
I’m still on track
And have overpassed
The horse and the chariots
On the way
to DESTINY
And better yet, I am still on time!

On the way to DESTINY.

Loving Basketball: NBA All Star Voting

Credits: NBA / West Conference
Credits: NBA / East Conference

Are you aware that the NBA All Star Voting is ongoing? If you are, I hope that you’ve voted for the player you consider to be the BEST Guard and Forward for both the West and East Conferences. If not, please jump on at https://nba.com/vote and start voting before the end of the day and till February 16th.

The above images are the count/votes for both West and East for the past two weeks. Voting started on January 28th.

Sorry, I wished that I had remembered to share sooner. Now let’s help these guys (our favorites) to double their counts/votes by the deadline.

Let’s go!

. . .

The NBA All Star has been scheduled for March 5-10, 2021.

Sex and Soul Ties

Preamble

Soul ties, and its causal relationship with sex, has been togging at my heart for a couple of weeks now. I finally succumb to its togging to post. I hope that it helps someone.

. . .

Sex is meant to be enjoyed by both partners. It was originally created for enjoyment at marriage (could be a post for another day.), and not pre-marriage. But in a society, where everything is sexual, sex-base and oriented, I acknowledge that this statement might not be welcomed or could be largely contended.

Sex is a tri-dimensional experience involving the spirit, soul, and body of those participating in it. Anytime you have sex with anyone, you bond with them. Whenever a person is sexually involved with another person, neuro-chemical changes occur in both their brains that encourages limbic emotional bonding (LEB).

Limbic bonding is “an emotional and biological connection you form with your partner.” It is the reason that casual sex doesn’t really work for most people on a whole mind and body level.

Casual Sex

Soul ties occur primarily from sexual intimacy.

Two people may decide to have sex “just for the fun of it,” or because they thought that “they’d be together forever,” yet something is occurring on another level that they may not have decided on at all.

Sex is enhancing an emotional bond between them whether they want it or not. One person, often the woman, is bound to form an attachment and will be hurt when a casual affair ends. (this is not to say that men do not hurt when casual sex ends.) One reason it is usually the woman who is hurt most is that the female limbic system is larger than the male’s.

Sex is like gluing two pieces of wood together. Ending (casual) sex is akin to ripping the pieces of wood apart the next day! Of course, the wood from the opposite board (wood) remains on each board. A piece of your sex partner (the good, bad, and ugly) stays with you and vice versa for the rest of your life. You can only imagine what it looks like when you bond with multiple partners. Unhealthy soul ties are often the ramifications of having partners that you create a lifelong bond with through a sexual encounter but with whom you only have a short-term relationship with. What we don’t know is that the bond remains long after the relationship is over, leaving both sexual partners longing for wholeness.

People are misinformed and, therefore, convinced that sex is strictly dimensional, physical act with no emotional or spiritual connections. Yet after sex, they find themselves mysteriously longing for the person they may not even like. A person (usually the woman) gives herself sexually to someone, expecting that the intense intimate act of intercourse would create a bond that would lead to deeper levels of commitment in the relationship. But soon she discovers that her sexual partner was taking advantage of her (or his) need for intimacy and used her/his vulnerability to have sex. Of course, this leads to a person being emotionally and spiritually bonded to somebody they deeply resent!

Also, when two people commit to marriage, they surmise that the covenant vows are only a formality. So they live together and enjoy a sexual relationship outside of a lifelong commitment. But later they decide, for whatever reason, that they don’t want to live in a covenant relationship and eventually break up. They usually don’t realize how deeply they have wounded each other as their souls are ripped apart, tearing the very fabric of their beings in the separation.

. . .

Whether you’re a religious person or not, soul ties is a theory that can be explained and understood by anyone. It is the idea that certain actions can connect you to a person and cause you to bond in a way that is not easily broken. Typically, soul ties are said to come from sex (but are also known to have come from other sources; for example, blood covenants, frats or sororities, or other soulish organizations, etc.). It is the physical act of giving yourself to another person that makes you vulnerable to such a connection.

In a healthy relationship, sexual intercourse is used to unify two people in a way that is nurturing and empowering. It is the manner in which couple shows their love and commitment to one another.

However, in a volatile, hostile or unhealthy relationship, sex causes you to tie your soul to someone who is disempowering and damaged. While it is very easy to recognize healthy and emotionally rich soul ties, it is not as easy to identify the unhealthy ones.

Engaging in intercourse with your partner is something that would be enjoyable. It intertwines your energies and should leave you both feeling loved, adored, appreciated and gratified. If you are engaging in intercourse with your partner, but you’re left feeling hollow, unappreciated, used, or dirty, or you’re experiencing a negative emotional reaction to your mate; this should be addressed. If there’s no resolution or if the reason for your experience is based on the state of the relationship, it’s time to separate. (But please, do not separate mainly on this post or the videos shared. These are shared to enlighten you. I therefore urge you to seek counseling and/or your own resolutions as to understanding your negative feelings in your relationship.)

If you want to know whether you’re connected to a person in a destructive way, monitor how you feel on a daily basis while in each other’s company. If you’re living in a constant state of sadness, hopelessness, confinement, and depression, you’re bonded to your partner in several unhealthy ways. A negative soul tie drains you.

3 Signs that you may have a Soul Tie

  1. You’re in a physically, emotionally, (mentally) or spiritually abusive relationship, but you feel so attached to the person that you refuse to cut off the connection and set boundaries;
  2. You have left a relationship (maybe long ago), but you still think about the other person obsessively. You can’t get them out of your mind. It seems like you’re on withdrawal and your mind is on steroids and you just can’t get him/her out of your mind; for every time you close your eyes, it’s like you see this person; like you’ve developed an unhealthy attachment;
  3. Whenever you do anything, make a decision, have a conversation with someone, you “feel” like this person is with you or watching you. It’s like that neural or mental link is still there. It is not a healthy place to be;
  4. Imagining or hearing a person’s voice in your head; and,
  5. Dreaming about the person or waking up thinking about them regularly.

. . .

Soul ties are outside the will of God for there is an unusual desire to spend all their money on the person and try to please that person. A soul tie outside of marriage echoes statements such as “I can’t live without you,” “I can’t be happy without you,” “I will die without you,” or if I may add, “I’ll die if you leave me.” The negative statements go on and on.

These relationships are not based on the (Holy) Spirit’s love, peace, and joy, and can lead to body ties resulting in physical relationship, and health issues; sometimes afflicting their own bodies or starving themselves and/or losing sleep; often leading to an addiction.

Breaking Soul Ties

If you’re in an unhealthy relationship that reflects any of this post (or the videos shared), know that it can be broken and you can become whole.

The first step is to please seek help today – go for counseling.

  • One way to break it is by renouncing every illicit word you’ve ever said: for example, I renounce ever saying that “I cannot live without you.” I declare that I was uniquely created and can live by myself.
  • Two, ask God for forgiveness for having gotten yourself into the relationship.
  • Ask God for His Grace to move on and to seek His divine relationship.
  • Three, forgive the person, and forgive yourself as well.
  • Four, remove any item belonging to the person still in your possession.

. . .

Also, next time you “feel” like having a quick fling (aka casual sex), please think before you act.

References:

This YouTube video was largely used in this post.

  1. https://youtu.be/gUZMPMyZboI
  2. https://www.brisbanecounsellingcentre.com.au/what-happens-in-your-brain-and-body-when-a-relationship-ends/
  3. https://goals.com/the-science-behind-break-ups-and-how-to-move-on

Do you know who you are?

I’m not asking about your credentials, or your name, who your parents are, or where you’re from.

Real sons and daughters of God know who they are by what God says about them and no circumstance can make them believe otherwise. For example, God says:

God’s Promises

Here are a few of God’s promises and who He says you are:

  • “Do not fear nor be dismayed” (Isaiah 41:10)
  • “I am the righteousness of God” (Romans 3:22a)
  • “I shall not want (Psalms 1:1b)
  • “I will fear no evil” (Psalms 23:4b)
  • “I will keep you in perfect peace” (Isaiah 26:3)
  • “… if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)
  • “… make you the head and not the tail and be above and not beneath …” (Deuteronomy 28:13)
  • “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:27-29)

Lies, Lies, Lies

Despite God’s Promises, are you one who still believes the lies thrown at you?

  • Constantly living in fear and turmoil, both inwards and outwards, and/or
  • Living way under and your circumstances seem to be contrary to His Word
  • Could it be because your eyes are on other things than God?
  • Or you’re still exhausted and wearied rather than approaching Him for answers?
  • Or are you still entwined in your mind and soul; though a Christian, you are still dealing with your family’s curses (a big one and one for another blog!)?

. . .

The best way to learn more about your identity is by reading the Bible. Here’s a list of God’s Promises for starters; hopefully it will draw you nearer to wanting to know more and read what I term, The Most Precious Book; the Holy Bible.

Knowing what God says about you will empower you to scream back (I don’t mean that literarily) at those negative thoughts that bombard your mind and the lies that satan sends your way. Believe you me, satan sends those lies to everyone. He did with Lord Jesus; therefore you and I are not immuned from him. The difference is found in not embracing those lies but responding with the Word of God. It is written …

Satan loves those who don’t know who they are. He loves to come to you at your crossroads; e.g. on the eve of your 29th birthday, crossing over to your 30th birthday taunting you about having missed the road since you’re not married yet; or when you’re having problems in your marriage about what a knucklehead spouse you ended up with!

Satan, the Father of Lies

Satan uses various tactics against us all. Two of such are broken focus and emotional entanglements. He entices one to take one’s eyes off God because he needs you to follow him instead. Please don’t be deceived. Remember that satan (the devil) is also known as the liar, the deceiver, the serpent, etc. All his words are lies and half-truths. Just because you feel it, does not mean you should follow it. Instead, follow what God reveals to you.

This is merely a snippet of “He is a Liar” from Dr. Matthew Stevenson. Of course, I added a few of my words. Click here to watch Dr. Stevenson’s full video. p.s. gotta watch till the end to get an understanding of the full message. Enjoy.

. . .

I hope that you truly know who you are or are beginning to understand your identity afterwards.

Peace!

Cooking with Unmis: Chicken Corn Soup

Ingredients:

  • Chicken parts (cut in small chunks)
  • Frozen (Sweet) Corn
  • Salt
  • Chicken bouillon
  • 2 Eggs
  • Tofu (optional)

Cooking Instructions:

  1. Place the cut small chunks of chicken in a pot
  2. Cube 1/2 onion
  3. Add salt
  4. Add couple of Chicken Bouillon
  5. Add 2-3 cups of water
  6. Cover and bring to boil; cook over medium heat for 5 minutes.
  7. Add 1 cup of corn
  8. Cook for another 3-5 minutes (or till corn is tender)
  9. Reduce heat to low
  10. Crack the eggs into soup
  11. Stir
  12. Remove after a minute.

Enjoy your Chicken Corn Soup alone or with fresh slice of bread or rolls.

Note: the chicken can be substituted with turkey or shrimp.

Cooking with Unmis: Fish (Tilapia) Stew

Credits: Unmis

Ingredients:

  • My Sauce
  • Tilapia (Steak-cut)
  • Oil (your choice)
  • Onion
  • Salt
  • Maggi Shrimp Cubes
  • Spices

Cooking Instructions:

  1. Clean fish, season (salt, thyme, & curry), and set aside.
  2. Pour 1-1/2 My Sauce in a pot
  3. Slice a 1/4-1/8 onion
  4. Add spices (curry, thyme, white pepper, & paprika) as desired
  5. Add a cup of oil
  6. Cover and cook for 15-20 minutes or until the raw smell of pepper is gone.
  7. Place seasoned fish one-by-one in pot
  8. Use your cooking spoon to cover the fish with the sauce. *** Do not stir else the fish will crumble to pieces ***
  9. Cook for another 3-5 minutes; occasionally lifting pot up to swirl round.

Is A Parent’s Job Ever Done?

Dear Parents,

  1. How do you know if you’ve done a great job at parenting, home training, and/or raising your adult children?
  2. What yardsticks do you use to measure their success?
  3. Is’t by your adult children having successfully completed high school, college, professional studies, or being married?
  4. If they’re not married, does being unmarried equate unsuccessful?
  5. And if they are married, does being happily married or otherwise, with or without children, count as success?
  6. Are you culpable for the choices that your adult children make after the age of 18 (or 21 in some countries) which coincidentally are the years that they are in college and, technically, you have no control over them – what they do, whether or not they’re going to class, or are busy partying away, or the friends (or relationships) they choose to cultivate?

As a parent of two young adults, these, and many more, questions run amok in my head most days. One of my adult children once said, “Mom, you never tell us these things.” Referring to not sharing enough of our culture with them. Which brings me to the next question:

  1. How do you know what to share and when to share?
  2. Is it possible to share everything that you know with your children or adult children?

Let’s talk. Let’s dialogue.

Answer all the above questions in the Comments, or pick any question to answer and/or elaborate on. Sharing your opinion will help us all.

The goal is to help each other.

Thanks for sharing your knowledge, experience, and two-cents. 😍