What kind of Family is it?

The Polygamous Family involves one individual having multiple spouses simultaneously. The most common form is the man marrying multiple wives. This form is called polygyny. The other form, though rare, is termed polyandry, where the woman is married to more than one husband.

The family code in Egypt is one of the worst family codes in the Arab world. Polygamy. The husband is having absolute power over the family.

Nawal El Saadawi

Polygamy is mostly common in predominantly muslim, African, Asian, and Middle Eastern countries. Those who engage in polygamy justify their acts by citing that the Quran (the muslims’ holy book) allows the man to marry up to four wives, if he can afford it. However, I have seen households where the man can barely self-sufficient, yet he has more than one wife. In such scenarios, the wife becomes the provider for herself and children.

The only men who become gods… are those who enter into polygamy.

Brigham Young

Whereas polygamy was practiced in olden Christianity and Islamic days, it has now become a modern day practice. Then it was a practice for labor purposes, mostly in farming, and to help families who lost their sons and husbands during the war. But now, it has become another tradition for no cause, but to boost the man’s ego. No wonder, the United Nations Human Rights Committee (UNHRC) wants polygamy abolished because it violates the dignity of women. However, “there often are limits to government administration of marriages. In many countries, marriages are governed by religious or customary law, which means that oversight is in the hands of clerics or community leaders.” (UNHRC) (Pew Research)

Justifications

Some societies justify and wholly embrace polygamy. To many, polygamy is better than having affairs outside of marriage. The truth is that these men will still have extramarital affairs anyways. The question then becomes, “where do we draw the line; when is enough wives enough?”

Others claim that there is a shortage of men and surplus of marriageable women. The last time I checked, the ratio of men to women is almost equal. 🤔

Benefits and Downsides

Still Polygamy, like any relationship structure, has its own set of potential benefits and downsides. Those who engage in polygamy claim that:

The Benefits of Polygamy include:

1. Emotional support: Multiple partners can provide different forms of emotional support, creating a diverse and potentially stronger support network.
2. Division of labor: With multiple partners, household and familial responsibilities can be distributed more evenly, potentially reducing individual burdens.
3. Cultural and religious fulfillment: In some cultures or religions, polygamy is practiced as a way to fulfill religious or cultural beliefs.
4. Financial stability: With multiple earners contributing to the household income, polygamous families may experience greater financial stability.
5. Expanded social support: Polygamous families can offer a larger social network for children and adults alike, providing more resources and connections for various needs.
6. Enhanced companionship: Having multiple partners can offer a wider range of companionship and intimacy experiences, potentially enriching individuals’ lives.
7. Shared childcare responsibilities: In polygamous families, there may be more adults available to share the responsibilities of childcare, potentially leading to more attentive and supportive parenting. This is the practice of the Mormons. But it’s an uncommon practice in other cultures.
8. Diverse perspectives and experiences: With multiple partners, individuals have the opportunity to engage with a broader range of perspectives, experiences, and cultural backgrounds, fostering personal growth and understanding.
9. Increased resilience: Polygamous relationships often require individuals to develop strong communication skills, conflict resolution strategies, and emotional resilience, which can contribute to personal growth and relationship resilience over time.

The Downsides of Polygamy include:

1. Jealousy and competition: Managing jealousy and navigating potential competition among partners can be challenging and may lead to conflict. This is the norm in most polygamous families.
2. Trauma: There is inherent trauma in being part of the polygamous dynamics, if the individuals involved don’t have help or support outside of the family. Counseling and therapy is needed for all members in order to be able to successfully navigate the outside world.
3. Legal and social challenges: In many societies, polygamy is not legally recognized or accepted socially, leading to potential legal complications and social stigma.
4. Unequal power dynamics: Power imbalances may arise, especially in hierarchical polygamous structures, leading to issues of fairness and equality among partners.
5. Emotional strain: Balancing multiple relationships can be emotionally taxing, leading to stress, anxiety, and burnout for individuals trying to manage multiple partners’ needs and expectations.
6. Legal complications: Polygamous relationships may face legal challenges, including issues related to inheritance, custody, and other rights not typically recognized in monogamous legal systems.
7. Social ostracism: Polygamous families may face social stigma, discrimination, and isolation from communities that do not accept or understand their relationship structure, leading to feelings of marginalization and exclusion.
8. Social isolation: Polygamous individuals may experience social isolation due to the stigma associated with their relationship structure, leading to difficulties in forming friendships or finding support outside of the polygamous community.
9. Relationship complexities: Managing the dynamics of multiple relationships can be inherently complex, requiring significant communication, negotiation, and emotional intelligence to navigate effectively.
10. Legal vulnerabilities: In legal systems where polygamy is not recognized or protected, individuals in polygamous relationships may face legal vulnerabilities, such as being unable to access legal protections or benefits available to monogamous couples.
11. Potential for isolation within the relationship: In some polygamous arrangements, one partner may feel isolated or neglected if attention and resources are unevenly distributed among the partners, leading to feelings of loneliness or dissatisfaction within the relationship dynamic.

Ultimately, the outcomes Polygamy varies from one family to the other. This will depend on the individuals involved and the dynamics of their relationships, as well as the cultural and legal context in which it occurs.

Conclusion

The above factors contribute to the complexity of polygamous relationships and highlight the importance of careful consideration and communication of its potential implications for individuals and families. Think thoroughly before you engage in it.