Marriages, love, and relationships are unique, and while certain myths about each persist, it’s essential to understand them through the lens of biblical wisdom.

Let’s hear God’s perspective on marriage, love, and relationships and debunk some common myths with insights from scripture.

Myth #1: “Never Go to Bed Angry”

Ephesians 4:26 says,

In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."

“Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry; for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭7‬:‭9‬ ‭ASV‬‬

It is wise to resolve conflicts as soon as possible.

The above scriptures encourage us to address issues promptly. First, it’s about maintaining a heart of reconciliation and not harboring resentment. Second, God knows why it is wise to resolve every disagreement before bedtime. The enemy (Satan) can use it against us. This is not to scare anyone, but if we harbor anger, hatred, or resentment in our hearts, it becomes an opening for spiritual attacks especially during the night. Hence the saying, “never go to bed angry” is wholly supported by God’s Word.

Myth #2: “Opposites Attract”

The Bible emphasizes unity and shared purpose in relationships. Amos 3:3 states,

"Shall two walk together, except they have agreed?”
‭‭Amos‬ ‭3‬:‭3‬ ‭ASV‬‬

While differences can enrich a relationship, shared values and goals are crucial for harmony.

A scripture where we can say that opposites do attract is found in Hosea 1:2, when God told a prophet, Hosea, to marry a harlot.

When Jehovah spake at the first by Hosea, Jehovah said unto Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredom and children of whoredom; for the land doth commit great whoredom, departing from Jehovah.”
‭‭Hosea‬ ‭1‬:‭2‬ ‭ASV‬‬

This signifies that in relationships, and particularly in marriage, it is crucial to seek God before joining yourself in matrimony to another. A person who, on the surface, checks all requisites, might not be the one ordained by God for you, and vice versa.

Myth #3: “Happy Couples Never Fight”

Conflicts are a natural part of relationships. Proverbs 27:17 says,

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." 

Healthy disagreements can foster growth and understanding. It’s not the absence of conflict but the presence of love and forgiveness that matters.

Myth #4: “Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry”

Apologizing is a sign of humility and love. It is the simplest of all courtesies. James 5:16 advises,

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."

Sincere apologies and forgiveness are crucial for healing and maintaining strong relationships.

Moreover, knowing you’re wrong and not apologizing is a sign of pride which God hates-

“These six things doth the LORD hate: Yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, And hands that shed innocent blood,”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭6‬:‭16‬-‭17‬ ‭KJV‬‬

“… God resisteth the proud, ...”
‭‭James‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Myth #5: “Your Spouse Should Be Your Best Friend”

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;”
‭‭Mark‬ ‭10‬:‭7‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Friends have a place in every relationship. And, yes, it is healthy to have other friendships. But, it is never to take precedence over the companionship of your spouse. Value your spouse’s companionship but choose wisely supportive friendships.

Myth #6: “You Complete Me”

Only God can truly complete us. Colossians 2:10 reminds us,

"And in Christ you have been brought to fullness."

A healthy relationship consists of two whole individuals complementing each other, grounded in their identity in Christ.

Myth #7: “Love Is All You Need”

While love is foundational, relationships require more. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 describes

“Love is patient and kind, never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude. Love isn't selfish or quick tempered. It doesn't keep a record of wrongs that others do. Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil. Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. Love never fails! ..”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4‬-‭8‬ ‭CEV‬‬

love as patient, kind, and selfless but also emphasizes the importance of other virtues like trust, perseverance, and hope. Love is the starting point, but it’s the daily acts of kindness and commitment that sustain a relationship.

Myth #8: “If It’s Meant to Be, It Will Just Work Out”

Relationships require effort and intentionality. Philippians 2:12 encourages us to

"continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling." 

This principle applies to relationships as well. God’s plan involves our active participation and commitment.

Myth #9: “Jealousy Is a Sign of True Love”

Human jealousy often stems from insecurity, possessiveness, and fear of losing something or someone we value

Jealousy can be destructive. Reread 1 Corinthians 13:4 above, True love is grounded in trust and security, not jealousy.

There is however a scripture that states:

"You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, …" (Exodus 20:5)

Some folks might want to use this scripture to justify their jealous character. “If God is, so I am!’ But, no! While this verse does mention God’s jealousy, it’s important to understand it in context. God’s jealousy is not the same as human jealousy. Human jealousy often stems from insecurity, possessiveness, and fear of losing something or someone we value. However, God’s jealousy is rooted in his perfect love and desire for a relationship with us.

God’s jealousy is a reflection of his passionate commitment to his people and his desire for them to worship and serve him alone. It’s not driven by insecurity or selfishness but by his perfect holiness and righteousness. He knows that worshiping anything other than Him ultimately leads to destruction and separation from Him.

So, while the Bible does mention God’s jealousy, it’s crucial to understand it in the context of His character and His desire for our well-being. We shouldn’t use this scripture to justify our own human jealousy, which often leads to harm and brokenness in relationships. Instead, we should strive to align our hearts with God’s perfect love and devotion, trusting in His guidance and seeking to love others as He loves us.

Myth #10: “Once the Honeymoon Phase Ends, Love Fades”

Love matures and deepens over time. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 highlights the strength of partnership:

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up." 

The initial excitement may mellow, but enduring love grows stronger through shared experiences and mutual support.

Conclusion

There, we have God’s perspective. By examining these myths through the lens of scripture, we can gain a deeper understanding of what truly makes relationships flourish according to God’s design. Let’s build our relationships on the solid foundation of biblical wisdom and love.