If you’ve ever lost anyone; a parent, sibling, friend, close friend, colleague or a pet, you probably went through an emotionless period. I did when I lost my dad and six weeks later, my brother. It took me three months to breakdown and bawl. I cried so loud while gasping for breath nonstop for almost thirty minutes. Though I felt “better,” I was angry and numb for another period of time. That was nine years ago.
Emotionless in Grief?
Grieving is a deeply personal and emotional process, often characterized by feelings of sadness, loss, and sometimes anger or confusion. In such times, the idea of being “emotionless” might seem inappropriate or even harmful. It’s crucial to distinguish between emotional regulation and emotional suppression during grief.
I stated the difference between the two in my post. If you missed it, read it here.
Emotional Regulation vs. Suppression in Grieving
Emotional regulation during grief might mean allowing oneself to cry, talk about the loss, and express feelings, while also finding ways to cope and heal.
On the other hand, Emotional suppression involves ignoring or pushing away emotions, often leading to emotional numbness or detachment. This can be detrimental, as it prevents the natural grieving process and can result in unresolved emotions resurfacing later.
The Role of Emotional Regulation in Grieving
During grieving, emotional regulation is about finding a balance—honoring and experiencing one’s emotions while also taking steps to care for oneself and engage in daily life. Here are a few ways emotional regulation can be helpful:
- Processing Emotions: Grieving involves a range of emotions that can fluctuate. By regulating these emotions, individuals can process their feelings in a healthy way, giving themselves permission to grieve without judgment.
- Seeking Support: Emotional regulation can help individuals recognize when they need support, whether from friends, family, or professionals. It allows for clearer communication about one’s needs and feelings, facilitating more supportive interactions.
- Maintaining Daily Functioning: While grieving, it’s important to maintain some routine and normalcy, such as going to work or attending to daily responsibilities. Emotional regulation helps individuals manage their grief while still engaging in necessary activities, preventing the complete disruption of life.
- Preventing Emotional Overwhelm: During grief, emotions can be overwhelming. Emotional regulation helps manage these intense feelings, reducing the risk of becoming stuck in a particular emotional state, such as despair or anger.
When Emotional Regulation Feels Challenging
It’s important to acknowledge that regulating emotions during grief can be difficult. Some individuals may feel that they are not able to control their emotions, which is perfectly normal. In such cases, seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can provide valuable support and coping strategies.
being “emotionless” is not advisable during times of grief
Conclusion
Grieving is a natural and necessary process that involves experiencing and expressing a range of emotions. While being “emotionless” is not advisable during such times, emotional regulation plays a crucial role in allowing individuals to grieve in a healthy manner. It’s about finding a balance between feeling emotions and managing them in ways that promote healing and well-being. Allowing oneself to grieve fully, while also engaging in self-care and seeking support, is the most compassionate approach to navigating the complexities of loss.
Think-Talk 