There are still good-to-great guys and ladies out there who desire a good-to-great marriage.

Why did I say that?

I had an interesting conversation with a young lady who I’ll call Tara. She started by sharing with me that she recently got into a relationship with a great guy who owns a thriving business. The guy just landed a big contract with one of the top entertainment companies. I was very happy for her. She added that she would love to be married to him.

I get excited

“Marriage is honorable in all, …”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭13‬:‭4‬a KJV‬‬

I get excited about relationships and, particularly, weddings. I only wish that we all will resolve to pray for the newly-weds long after the wedding. I believe that there will be fewer divorces if half the wedding guests devote their time to pray for the couple. Anyhow,

Despite all that we’ve heard about divorces and bad relationships, I still believe that great marriages abound.

Continuing with Tara

I was elated for Tara. “I hope you do.” give it time,” I advised. I then followed with: “Is there anything stopping you from being married to him?”

Tara immediately spilled out her thoughts: “I know he loves me and I’ll love to have his kids. Three. Have them back-to-back. Be a stay-at-home mom; home school them, and then divorce him.”

My mouth dropped. I stared right into her eyes and asked, “but why?” She responded: “he has so much money that he will pay me child support and alimony that I will never have to work ever again in my life.”

At that point I wanted to take back the hope that I agreed to from her. But simply said instead “Are you okay? God doesn’t like that. And you might want to research the alimony if you’re married for a short time.” “Oh I know he’ll have to pay me big alimony; I know I know.” Tara responded.

The conversation was no longer interesting and I saw Tara with a different view. I just wanted to pray for her – for God to purify her heart. Why would a pretty young lady plot to scheme and trap a guy, unbeknownst to the guy, who supposedly has fallen in love with her. I shook my head.

Questions. Questions. Questions.

Tons of questions, that I couldn’t bring my mouth to open to ask, ran through my head.

I wondered: “What if you don’t get the money you planned you’d get?”
“What if the guy’s big contract got cancelled right after your schemed marriage?
What if …. What if…. What if …
Why …. Why … Why…? Is this a new movement or what? A movement where you intentionally get into marriage with the preconceived notion of being divorced after having kids? Why did Tara specifically want three children?

That conversation was about two weeks ago.

I don’t believe in Coincidences

Today, I had another conversation on marriage and relationships with a different lady. Whereas Tara was in her mid-to-late twenties, this lady is in her late thirties. Our conversation was on the man. She opined that most men stay in a relationship with the goal of checking out, emotionally, mentally, and physically/sexually, after the first kid. She cited hers as an example, including similar experiences with two of her close friends.

These conversations are disturbing. Sounds like something is going on here. I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe these two conversations are God-incidences. Yes, we constantly hear that we are in desperate times and that people are getting more desperate. But … Where does the fault lie – with the men, the women, or both? Is it an inflationary despair measure or moral and conscience decadence? God help us.

Divorce Statistics

There is the saying that half of all marriages end in divorce. Though that number is skewed, (see divorce statistics here), there is a bigger problem if people are intentionally getting into relationships and marriages, not for love, but with preconceived outcomes. And those numbers will soon be higher. The most disturbing is that the divorcees were married for significant number of years.

The above is a gallery of public figures who divorced after being married for a long time. Divorce is not only within celebs. I’m sure we all know someone or two who are divorced. The question on my mind is: short of subjecting one’s fiancé/fiancée to a lie detector, is there a way to prevent ourselves (or loved ones) from calculated harm of marriage/relationship schemers/scammers?

I am a proponent of marriage and believe that there are still good-to-great men and women desiring true and good-to-great marriages and relationships.

How about you? Share your thoughts in the comments if you will. Thanks.