The pursuit of happiness.  Thomas Jefferson first penned it in the Declaration of Independence: “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Will Smith and his son, Jaden, did a movie (2006) with the title.   The movie is also available in book format.

I’ve heard the statement sung in my ears more times than I can count.  This statement also has been the reason for many divorces.  One spouse complains that s/he is unhappy and wants to opt out of the marriage.

So why do some people chase after happiness?

The pursuit of happiness has long been considered a fundamental human goal. From ancient philosophical teachings to modern self-help ideologies, happiness is often seen as the ultimate aspiration. But does this pursuit lead to genuine fulfillment, or is happiness just a fleeting illusion? I have previously alluded to my take on “happiness” in previous posts. Rather than respond to the question on Quora, I chose to blog about it. The answer is complex, as happiness is a dynamic subjective experience influenced by personal values, societal expectations, and life circumstances.

The Nature of Happiness: Momentary vs. Lasting Fulfillment

Happiness is often categorized into two types: hedonic happiness, which is based on pleasure and immediate gratification, and eudaimonic happiness, which is rooted in meaning, purpose, and personal growth.

Hedonic Happiness: The Fleeting Illusion

This type of happiness is associated with pleasure-seeking behaviors —indulging in good food, material wealth, travel, entertainment, and other sensory experiences. While these can bring joy, their effects are temporary. For example, someone who buys an expensive car may feel elated initially, but over time, the excitement fades as they become accustomed to it. This phenomenon, known as hedonic adaptation, explains why people constantly seek new experiences or possessions to maintain their happiness levels.

Eudaimonic Happiness: The Key to Fulfillment

In contrast, eudaimonic happiness is tied to personal growth, meaningful relationships, and a sense of purpose. This kind of happiness is often more fulfilling because it aligns with deeper values and contributes to long-term well-being. Consider Mother Teresa, who dedicated her life to serving the poor. Her happiness did not stem from personal pleasure but from the fulfillment of a higher purpose. Similarly, individuals who build strong relationships, contribute to their communities, or find meaningful work often experience lasting contentment rather than fleeting joy.

The Paradox of Pursuing Happiness

Ironically, the more one actively chases happiness, the more elusive it can become. Research by psychologists such as Iris Mauss suggests that placing too much emphasis on achieving happiness can lead to disappointment and anxiety. When people expect to feel happy all the time, they may become discouraged when reality does not meet their expectations.

For instance, social media often portrays an idealized version of happiness — exotic vacations, perfect relationships, career success — leading individuals to feel inadequate in comparison. This comparison trap fuels dissatisfaction rather than fulfillment.

Examples of Happiness vs. Fulfillment in Real Life

• The Lottery Winner’s Dilemma

Many believe that financial wealth guarantees happiness. However, studies on lottery winners reveal a different story. While winners experience an initial spike in happiness, many return to their baseline levels of well-being or even experience increased stress due to financial mismanagement, strained relationships, or a loss of purpose. This reinforces the idea that external gains alone do not lead to lasting fulfillment.

• The Case of Viktor Frankl

Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist, wrote Man’s Search for Meaning, in which he argued that meaning; not pleasure, is the key to a fulfilled life. Even in the depths of suffering, he found that those who had a purpose (such as faith, love, or hope) were more resilient and maintained a sense of fulfillment. His philosophy suggests that true happiness is a byproduct of living with purpose rather than chasing pleasure.

• Modern Work Culture and Burnout

In today’s world, many chase career success believing it will bring happiness. However, the pressure to achieve can lead to burnout. Studies show that individuals who prioritize intrinsic goals (personal growth, passion, helping others) rather than extrinsic goals (money, fame, status) tend to experience greater well-being. Consider the difference between an artist who paints for the love of creation versus one who paints solely for profit. The former often finds deeper satisfaction.

Striking a Balance: The Path to True Happiness

While pleasure and personal success can bring joy, they are not the sole indicators of a fulfilling life. True happiness requires a balance of:

1. Meaningful Relationships – Strong connections with family, friends, and community contribute significantly to long-term happiness.

2. Personal Growth – Learning, self-improvement, and resilience build a deeper sense of satisfaction.

3. Service to Others – Acts of kindness and contributing to something greater than oneself often bring a profound sense of fulfillment.

4. Gratitude and Mindfulness – Appreciating the present moment rather than always seeking the next source of pleasure can lead to contentment.

The pursuit of happiness, if focused solely on pleasure and external validation, can indeed be a fleeting illusion.

Conclusion

The pursuit of happiness, if focused solely on pleasure and external validation, can indeed be a fleeting illusion. However, when happiness is rooted in purpose, relationships, and personal growth, it leads to true fulfillment. Rather than chasing happiness as an end goal, it should be cultivated as a byproduct of a meaningful life. True contentment is not found in momentary pleasures but in the deeper purpose that sustains us through life’s highs and lows.

“The more you actively chase happiness, the more elusive it can become” does not apply only to happiness 

The elusive principle doesn’t apply only to happiness. It can also be observed in other areas of life, such as wealth, love, acceptance, and success. Here’s how:

1. Wealth: The Paradox of Chasing Money

Many people believe that accumulating wealth will bring them security and contentment. However, when the pursuit of money becomes the primary focus, it can lead to stress, dissatisfaction, and even unethical behavior.

beyond a certain point, more money does not equate to more happiness

• Example: Billionaires like Warren Buffett emphasize that beyond a certain point, more money does not equate to more happiness. Studies show that after meeting basic needs, additional wealth has diminishing returns on well-being.

• Why it’s elusive: People who obsessively chase wealth often feel like they never have “enough.” They might sacrifice health, relationships, or personal fulfillment in the process.

2. Love: The Harder You Chase, the More It Slips Away

Love, whether romantic or platonic, tends to flourish naturally. Desperation or neediness in seeking love often pushes people away rather than drawing them in.

• Example: Someone who constantly seeks validation or forces relationships out of fear of being alone may struggle to find a meaningful connection. Conversely, those who focus on self-growth and genuine connections often attract love effortlessly.

• Why it’s elusive: Love is best when it’s mutual and organic. Trying too hard can make interactions feel forced or even manipulative.

3. Acceptance: Seeking External Validation Can Backfire

Many people crave acceptance from society, peers, or family. However, the more one seeks approval at the expense of authenticity, the less fulfilling it becomes.

• Example: Celebrities and influencers often feel pressure to maintain a perfect image. Despite widespread admiration, many struggle with insecurity because their self-worth is tied to external validation.

• Why it’s elusive: True acceptance comes from within. When people stop seeking approval and embrace their authentic selves, they often find that others accept them more naturally.

4. Success: The More You Obsess, the More Burnout You Risk

While ambition is healthy, an obsessive focus on success can lead to stress, burnout, and dissatisfaction.

• Example: Many high-achievers, like Steve Jobs or Elon Musk, have spoken about the cost of their relentless pursuit of success—strained relationships, exhaustion, and even regret.

• Why it’s elusive: When success is defined only by external metrics (fame, money, power), it becomes an endless chase. A balanced approach—where success is paired with passion and personal fulfillment—leads to more sustainable achievement.

When we focus too much on chasing something, we often miss the organic flow that leads to genuine fulfillment.

Conclusion: The Paradox of Pursuit

The common thread in all these examples is that desperation and attachment create resistance. When we focus too much on chasing something, we often miss the organic flow that leads to genuine fulfillment. Instead of obsessively pursuing happiness, wealth, love, or acceptance, the key is to:

• Cultivate the right mindset (focus on growth rather than obsession).
• Let things unfold naturally (allow relationships, opportunities, and success to develop over time).
• Prioritize internal fulfillment over external validation (self-worth should not depend entirely on money, love, or societal approval).

When people stop chasing and start becoming, the things they once sought often come to them more effortlessly.

Let me know what you think: do you think that the pursuit of happiness lead to genuine fulfillment, or is happiness just a fleeting illusion?