I once met a young African-American couple. The lady was pregnant and excited. I was excited for her. In her excitement, she disclosed that the guy already had eight children by four different women. The conversation took a different turn. I thought out loud that if my daughters were present, they’d cringe at what I was about to say to the couple. I then made it a disclaimer. They were both cool with it. Trying to be as nice and gentle as I possibly could, I asked the guy: “is this the last woman or you’re still gonna be playing the field still. Do you have all boys or all girls and what are you looking for?”
He replied: “no, I have both boys and girls.” While he was talking, I remembered the lady interrupted and told me that she asked him the same question.
“Okay. Young lady, did you know that he had the kids before you got pregnant?”
She responded: “I kinda knew.”
Me: “what does that mean? You either knew or you didn’t.”

You get the gist and rest of the conversation and situation.
And, sadly, it is not that the young man can afford to qualitatively raise those kids. Not judging – just calling it what it is.

In Nigeria, parents, aunties, uncles, etc. (the whole village) would often say “by the time I’m done talking to her, the pregnancy would abort itself” to a daughter (or niece or cousin) in such a situation. Not that it’s right, but it is to deplore the situation such a young lady has put herself into, which in the Nigerian culture also becomes the parents/family’s problem.

Why would men go about procreating irresponsibly? And why would more ladies/women continue to give themselves to such a man?

Yes, folks will do whatever they want to do. I get it, but solution to any issue begins with education and conversation. We need to intentionally start talking about it so that it becomes clear that irresponsible procreation is not a wise move.

We all indirectly pay for it by way of taxes. If the father cannot afford to raise his kids, he leans on the government. Even when they’re held liable for child support payments they cannot pay. Spillover costs! Let’s dive into how it hurts us all and what can be done to prevent it.

How It Hurts Us All—And What Can Be Done About It

In an ideal world, every child would be born into a stable, loving, and well-prepared environment. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. Irresponsible procreation — having children without the financial, emotional, or social capacity to properly care for them—has far-reaching consequences that affect not only the individuals involved but society as a whole. Let me clarify: if everyone waited to have the financial capacity to have and raise a child, most people would not have one. What I’m saying is having the number of children you can responsibly, realistically, and qualitatively take care of.

The Consequences of Irresponsible Procreation

1. Poverty and Economic Strain
When parents bring children into the world without adequate financial preparation, those children often grow up in poverty. This creates a cycle where they may struggle to access quality education, healthcare, and basic necessities, making it harder for them to break free from economic hardship. Furthermore, government assistance programs, funded by taxpayers, often bear the burden of supporting families that are unable to sustain themselves.
2. Strain on Social Services
Irresponsible procreation contributes to overwhelmed social welfare systems, including foster care, food assistance, housing aid, and public healthcare. As more children are born into unstable environments, the demand for these services increases, putting immense pressure on already limited resources.
3. Educational Challenges
Children from unstable homes often struggle academically due to a lack of support, proper nutrition, and consistent schooling. This leads to lower graduation rates and fewer opportunities for upward mobility, which in turn affects workforce productivity and economic growth.

We however acknowledge the few exceptions that do exist where kids from unstable homes have excelled over their peers from stable homes.
4. Higher Crime Rates
Research has shown a correlation between childhood neglect, economic instability, and criminal behavior. Children who grow up in chaotic or neglectful households are more likely to engage in delinquent activities, perpetuating cycles of crime that affect entire communities.
5. Decline in Mental and Emotional Well-being
Children who are born into unprepared households often experience neglect, emotional trauma, and instability. This can lead to mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and behavioral disorders, which further strain healthcare systems and reduce overall societal well-being.

How to Curb Irresponsible Procreation

1. Comprehensive Sex Education
Education plays a key role in responsible family planning. Providing young people with knowledge about contraception, reproductive health, and the responsibilities of parenthood can help prevent unintended pregnancies.
2. Accessible and Affordable Contraception
Governments and organizations should work to ensure that contraceptives are widely available and affordable. This includes birth control pills, condoms, IUDs, and other long-term contraceptive methods.
3. Parental Responsibility Awareness Campaigns
Public awareness initiatives should emphasize the importance of planning for children only when one is financially, emotionally, and mentally prepared. Campaigns should highlight the consequences of irresponsible procreation and encourage family planning.
4. Empowering Women and Promoting Autonomy
Women should have access to education, career opportunities, and reproductive choices so that they are not pressured into having children before they are ready. Societies that empower women tend to have lower birth rates and healthier family structures.
5. Encouraging Responsible Fatherhood
The role of fathers in child-rearing is often overlooked. Men should be held accountable for their role in procreation and parenting, ensuring that children are raised in stable environments with both parental figures contributing to their well-being.
6. Stronger Legal and Financial Accountability
Policies that enforce child support laws and hold both parents accountable for their children’s welfare can deter reckless procreation. This ensures that children are not left to suffer due to one or both parents’ negligence.
7. Cultural and Religious Influence
Many cultural and religious institutions discourage premarital sex or promote large families without considering economic and social factors. A balanced approach that respects faith while encouraging responsibility can help shift harmful mindsets.
8. Encouraging Adoption and Family Planning Alternatives
Those who are not prepared for parenthood should be encouraged to consider adoption or other alternatives. Safe havens and responsible adoption systems can ensure that every child is raised in a nurturing home.

Final Thoughts

Irresponsible procreation is not just a private matter—it has widespread consequences that impact society as a whole. By promoting education, access to contraception, responsible parenting, and legal accountability, we can help curb this issue and create a world where every child is born into a supportive and prepared environment. It’s time to move away from reckless reproduction and embrace a culture of responsibility.

Got ideas or suggestions, please share them in the Comments section. Thank w.