Why does God allow good people to die sooner and allow the wicked to live?

Father God forgive me as I write this because you expect me to know better. But, sometimes I don’t. This instance is one of those times that it’s still hard to swallow.

Sorry that I sound like a child when I should be talking like your mature daughter. But there are times the kid in us rears its head and one who is known for wisdom talks or acts foolishly.

Forgive me Father God.

It’s been five years since you allowed my brother, MO, to depart this world.

It still hurts like it happened yesterday for he was taken in his prime.

My brother, you’ll forever be missed. I “slept all these years” hoping that it would be a dream for the grief was too deep.

But alas I had to wake up and accept that you’re really no longer present with us.

To be absent in the body, is to be present with the Lord

2 Corinthians 5:8

I take solace in the fact that God knows best and that you’re at peace; no more striving.

I miss you dearly, my brother. You were one of a kind; the family reconciler; Dad’s right-hand man; kind-hearted; always going the extra mile for anyone in need; you were a friend indeed and a loving father.

Let the wicked repent

I remember your statement when Grandma died. You said, “the wicked has done their worst, Mama lived 101 years on earth.”

I pondered on it and finally understood what you meant.

Well, may the wicked never die again. Sarcastic. Should they not repent and turn from their wicked ways, may they be like chaff before the wind and may the angels of the Lord drive them out. (Isaiah 17:13)

We all miss you.

Continue to rest in peace.

Love-first model for marriage and relationships

We posed the question, in our previous blog, should-love-or-marriage-be-based-on-a-business-or-love-first-model.

We talked about the business-first model and what relationships would be like if we adopted that model. If you missed it, click bit.ly/2Czm55T to read it.

Today, we review the other type of relationship; love-first model. It should be a no-brainer that relationships are based on love, right? No! It’d amaze even Venus that it’s not so!

What is love?

Dictionary.com https://www.dictionary.com/browse/love offers a few definitions of: ‘love’ as:

  • a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person;
  • sexual passion or desire.
  • a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

What is the love-first model?

It is the kind that marriages and relationships ought to be about. It is also the kind where each edifies the other above one self. The Bible provides us with a standard:

“Love suffers long, and is kind;

love envies not;

love vaunts not itself, is not puffed up,

Love does not behave itself unseemly, seeks not his/her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil;

Love rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails: ….”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-8‬ ‭KJV

This is the utmost kind of relationship everyone desires and/or should aspire to. But how do we get it?

How can we enter into this ideal model?

I believe that this kind of relationship is possible when men wisely choose their ladies and the ladies patiently wait for their other half to search them out. Then, there is dignity, mutual respect, and appreciation in love.

If marriages and relationships are based on the love-first model, there will be no occurrences of separation, divorce, or leaving one another. The relationship one enters into, will culminate into marriages till death does one or both apart. That, to me, is the ideal kind!

But since we do have incidents of separation and divorces, is’t then safe to say that either one of the parties chose the wrong partner to begin with or that one or both entered into the relationship under pretense or that the marriage or relationship was entered into for the wrong reasons? Maybe? Only both parties can tell.

Your choice

Now that you know what love really is, which would you choose as your model for marriage or relationship; the business-first or the love-first?

For the love-first model, pray and have a confirmation in your spirit that you are choosing wisely because the alternative (aka wrong choice) can be disastrous.

Love and Peace!

Should love or marriage be based on a business- or love-first model?

“What’s in it for me?” “You rub my back and I rub yours (or scratch or poke yours depending on how I’m feeling about you! Lol). Sounds so cold, unh? Yet, these selfish and shamefacedly statements have now become cliches in households.

Why does anything have to be in it for you? What about the other person? Why have we starved love and become so hungry for the $dollar (or money, for those who don’t spend the almighty currency!)? What happened to us all?

I could rant endlessly in the hope that some “expert” somewhere could answer my questions.

With the above outlooks on love/marriage, falling in love or getting married becomes scary. Should it? Let’s talk about it and consider both models.

Business-first model

Dictionary.com defines ‘Business’ as:
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/business

  1. an occupation, profession, or trade:
  2. the purchase and sale of goods in an attempt to make a profit.
  3. a person, partnership, or corporation engaged in commerce, manufacturing, or a service; profit-seeking enterprise or concern.

Marriage is honorable …” Hebrews 13:4a

Types of businesses

There are different types of businesses; the top four are:

  1. Sole proprietorship
  2. Partnership
  3. Corporations
  4. Limited Liability Companies.

The business-first model in marriage is similar to a Partnership. In all businesses, it is wise to have an agreement/contract that clarifies expectations. The contract in marriage is called the Prenuptial Agreement or Prenups, for short.

My humble opinion is that prenups are business-in-marriage documents that should have no place when the marriage is grounded in love.

However, I can envisage why one person (or both) favors prenups before entering into the marriage.

For your information, prenups are not relegated to famous and wealthy folks. Average, everyday, working-class people have been known to request prenups before marrying. I wonder why anyone would marry prenuptially! Personally, I won’t.

Comment below if you would marry someone who presents you with a prenup. If not, why not? Thanks.

If a business model is applied to marriage, it implies that three scenarios are imminent:

  1. either one person profits, and the other losses;
  2. both parties win; or
  3. both parties lose!

Let’s expatiate on each scenario in reverse order

The third scenario (both parties lose; lose-lose) means that the outcome was a fallout, separation, or divorce. Is it safe to say then that both parties were misfits to start with? What caused a fallout or the ultimate decision of a divorce? What differences were so grave that could not have been forgiven, or as Californian courts will rule, were irreconcilable? Are we so callous with one another such that we take the “it’s my way or the highway!” stance? Maybe, we all should choose our significant others wisely before heading on the crooked road.

The second scenario (both parties win; win-win) is the ideal. But remember that the goal of starting a business is to make a profit; aka ROI, return on investment. In a marriage, what would those investments be? Using children as an example, as I couldn’t think of a better one,. Neither party didn’t begin the marriage with children. Each party brought something; the man contributed his sperm and the woman her eggs. “The profit” is the children?! What would we say about those in a second or third marriage who brought children into the new marriage. Blended home profit? What other examples can be used? Furniture, cars, etc. with the outcome (profit) being a home?! Maybe. What if one party does not have the furniture or cars? Should they still start a “business” together or the items become “ours” rather than mine or yours? Or as in a real business partnership, the type of partnership will be defined; that is, who would be the active, dormant/sleeping, limited powers, etc. partner? I’ll like to hear your thoughts on this.

With this scenario, it appears that both parties made the right choice of “business” partner, right? We all might need to take cue(s) from this type of business-first love/marriage.
How then would the profits be divided? 50/50 or ratio relative to your contribution?

The first scenario (win-loss) is a troublesome one. Were both parties, the onset, aware of what the outcome would be? Why would anyone knowingly enter into a losing business? Were there any part of the contract that was latent, ambiguous, or intentionally omitted? If so, should there still be a contract – shouldn’t the contract be voidable, void, and/or rescinded? Let’s ponder on these for a moment. Some relationships are doomed even before they begin because everyone saw and knew that it was never meant to be nor was it going to last. Only the people involved couldn’t see nor know it! I could name a few examples but I don’t want to be litigated! You probably know one or two as well.

. . .

Each of the above scenarios is worth pondering on. If you or I were to enter into a marriage or relationship, which scenario would you or I choose as our ideal? I know for sure that I would 💯 choose the second win-win scenario and I hope that you would, too.

What could humanity do to avoid a losing love/marriage? What sustainable relationship tips can we pass on that can help others and especially the younger generation?

Please comment below.

We’ll continue with the other model, Love-first in our next blog. Till then,

Love & Peace

Thanks for reading.

110 days from today …

What are you going to do?

Whatever you do, do it totally with your heart knowing that you have read, watched, and studied, all that needs to be digested. That, above all, you have studied “to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness.”
‭‭(2 Timothy‬ ‭2:15-16‬)

Whatever you do 110 days from today, please seriously refrain from groupthink or bandwagon effect of joining the acts or desires of the populace.

Finally, whatever you do, stop, pray, and ponder to ask yourself, will I be able to live with myself after this or will I regret having acted contrary to the truth and my heart.

I say pray because often not all that appears good are of God. I repeat, everything that looks, feel, and or sound good are not of God. Few are obvious to the naked eye, but many are discreet that will fool even the very elect (Matthew 24:24b). Be not one of those who think that God can be mocked for whatsoever we sow, we shall reap (Galatians 6:7-8).

. . .

The frailty of humanity is that we focus on the negatives of the past and of one another and sadly forget the good of both the past and one another. Psychologists confirm that this is how our brains are hardwired and term it negativity bias. Click the links below to read more on the term:

. . .

In 110 days from today, I implore you to focus on merits rather than the negatives and VOTE with your heart for the Truth.

You have ample time to research and digest each candidate and, of course, each proposition.. Start today so that 110 days from today, you will know what to do and will do that which you ought to have done.

. . .

America is presently in a dire state. But there’s hope still for by His mercies, America shall not be consumed because great is His faithfulness! (Lanentations 3:22-24)

Let your voice be heard; exercise your civic right and let your vote count. No excuses. You can Vote by mail. Check out information on how to now and be ready to vote 110 days from today.

Peace!

Your Leader-ship Matters

You are a leader to someone at some place.

An organization and its staff often reflect its leader. That organization could be your home/family, school, religious place, or extra-curricular activity. You will observe that whatever values the one at the helm holds dear to him/her will be the values that trickle down through its leadership, to the staff or team members. In a business setting, the values will ultimately flow from top to the bottom of the organizational echelon until an expert is invited to train or advise the leaders of (an often necessary) change. In essence, there’s a positive correlation between the leader, leadership, and organizational culture. 

To clarify so that we’re all on the same page, the leader of an organization is its CEO or President of that organization. S/he is the one at the helm of the organization. The leadership of the organization, on the other hand, consists of all the leaders; that is, the CEO, COO, CIO, CTO, CAO, etc. We also know them as “Management.”

The leader’s style is his/her Charisma or lack thereof, The way he or she talks and connects emotionally with his/her staff; superiors, peers, and subordinates.

The leadership style is the Culture that is visible in the organization’s mission, goals, and vision. Read what Matt Fagaly has to say on this [https://ideas.bkconnection.com/the-5-types-of-leadership-styles-that-can-define-your-organizations-culture].

It is always a great feeling to enjoy one’s work/job. Why not? Because one spends a third (or longer) of one’s day at work. 

Also, when one aligns with its organization’s culture or values, one is happier and more productive. The reverse is the case when there’s a misalignment. The sooner one realizes that one is a misfit, the earlier the better for that person to start looking for new office home. Likewise, business owners employing folks who do not align with the leader (or organization’s) values and are only about the salary, will often spell DOOM.

Most of us stay too long on a job and are miserable with the resultant effect on productivity and health/wellness. Sadly, some of us don’t know (nor have learned) how not to carry these negative effects home to our loved ones.

So, knowing what values are important to you should guide you in the company you work for or the people you hire. Don’t let the high salary or charisma entice you and end up being miserable. Yay Yay Yay we live in a world that no longer holds dear (social, moral, ethical) values any longer. But for those of us who still do; I’m not judging anyone (this is a statement and an excuse that is now prevalently being used that indirectly means to “mind one’s own business”), values are important and we should align work and company to them accordingly.

If you’re looking for a job, want to change your current job, or need to hire someone, write down your top three or five qualities/values and set out for the company or person that shares those qualities/values. No compromise and no settling out of desperation till you find that company or person.

. . .

Interested in knowing your leadership style, here are a few links to help:

https://williamctaylor.com/quiz/; https://eml.usc.edu/leadership-style-quiz; https://online.hbs.edu/blog/post/styles-of-leadership

Love and Love Languages

How do you love yourself or allow yourself to be loved? Are you the flower person, chocolates, wine and dine, just-hold-my-hands kind of person? Or do you prefer the long (phone/face-to-face) conversations? Whatever your preference, wouldn’t you like your significant other to know, or you knowing your children’s; if you have any?

Wouldn’t you also like to know the type of love your relationship (or marriage) is exhibiting?

Well, if you already don’t know, we all speak various love languages. These languages often can be misconstrued. Knowing the different types of love and love languages can set relationships straight.

. . .

Biblically, there are four types of love. Jack Zavada writes about Eros, Storge, Philia, and Agape in his article. Click here to read more https://www.thoughtco.com/types-of-love-in-the-bible-700177.

Agape is the highest form of love. It’s the God-kind of Love which we all should aspire to.

. . .

Psychologically, there are seven types of Love. Neel Burton M.D. adds three more to the biblical types. I learned something as these three are all new to me. To read them, please click here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201606/these-are-the-7-types-love.

Did you learn something new as well? Yes or No, please comment below.

There’s however an eighth kind that I’ll like to add.

Mania (obsessive/excessive) love. This kind of love can manifest in the other seven, maybe six (excluding Agape) if not checked.

Love Languages

Love has a language. They are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

Speaking the wrong language is akin to someone speaking Swahili to a Greek. Result is chaos, (love) clutter, and reciprocity failure. It is important to know one’s love language as well as one’s spouse, children, and/or close friends.

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, “it helps strengthen relationships … as different people with different personalities express love in different ways.

Interested in finding out your love language, click here [https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/]. Each of us have a primary (dominant) language. We can also have a secondary (recessive) language as well as multiple love languages.

Have fun discovering your love language. And should you feel like sharing, do so in the Reply/Comments below.

Wisdom nugget: Today


In choosing whatever you want and however you live your life today,
remember tomorrow.

Whatever you do today,
Will you be proud of it tomorrow.

Whatever you do today,
Think of how you’ll explain it to your child/children or the one you love the most tomorrow,

Whatever you do that brings you comfort and money today,
Think of the comfort and more money it might take away tomorrow.

If it will give you sleepless nights tomorrow,
Be wise and wave it bye bye today

But we never know what tomorrow brings
So be wise today
And ask your Creator
If this is what He wants for you
Today!

😍🙏🏾✌🏾

An apropos for the remainder of the year

Today is Day 190 of the calendar and we’ve just begun the second half of 2020.

With COVID-19 and its effect on everyone and the economy, the ongoing unrest, including the upcoming elections, we, as well as our nation, are nearing a seemingly turning point.

I believe in miracles and we need the hand of God to steer us all and orchestrate a divine intervention.

This prayer is therefore apropos for us all for the rest of the year.

I pray that it resonates with you. Stay blessed.

BBC – Science & Nature – Human Body and Mind – Spot The Fake Smile

Spot The Fake Smile Survey
— Read on www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/smiles/

. . .

Can you spot a fake smile from a genuine one? According to U.K.’s BBC, “Most people are surprisingly bad at spotting fake smiles. One possible explanation for this is that it may be easier for people to get along if they don’t always know what others are really feeling.

Would you rather just get along with people or would you rather seek genuine friendships/relationships? For some, the answer might be “it depends.” I’d rather have the genuine.

. . .

I took this survey in one of my classes in college and scored 18 out of 20. Not bad, right?! But I wish I got it all! That two fake smiles could unknowingly cause a disaster or two if allowed to slip. Please don’t mind me – just revealing my competitive side 😀

I just found my result of the survey and wanted to share for a mid-week challenge.

. . .

We’re all in a haste to get things done that these days, no one stops to breathe or rest any more. (One reason that COVID-19 was a welcome breather of sorts!) We run about like the fable Chicken Little such that we miss the little things that matter. A fake smile and/or body language are two of such things.

. . .

Now, let’s see how you fair. Can you really spot a fake smile? Take the survey by clicking on the url above. p.s. you might need a Flash player.

Don’t forget to share your results in the comments below.

Happy hump day!

Housewife: A Case for the Title

Every home not only needs a woman, but every home needs a practical woman. A woman who can juggle her acts, smoothly don the hats of a Chief Executive Officer, Chief Economist, Chief Operating Officer, Chief Administrative Officer, Chief Strategic Officer, Chief Internal Officer, Chief Public Relations Officer, Chief Information Security Officer, as well as the Chauffeur, Chef, and Chief of the Family Fan Club, and still maintain her poise and sanity.

A married lady who stays home to take care of the needs of her home; is to be cherished because she happily wears all the numerous hats for which she is not compensated nor adequately appreciated. She’s often taken for granted in many homes because “it is her responsibility” to take care of the house/home, right? No! That’s wrong!

The housewife’s job is never done in a day. It’s a steady chore juggling to ensure that:

(1) the physical home is sparkling clean first and foremost, and that the ambiance of the internal decor is strikingly captivating and inviting to anyone especially such that the hubby is compelled to rush home after work and hardly wants to leave the comforts for a weekend getaway;

(2) love and peace fill all its chambers;

(3) the children love it so much they want to show it off while inviting their friends over rather than chasing after sleepovers;

(4) she also loves to call it her sanctuary, and

(5) she constantly provides (or cooks) her family’s favorite meals.

Wow … what a list of chores? Does the housewife ever get a break? She takes care of everyone, but who gets to pamper her? She who refreshes others, must herself be refreshed, right?

. . .

Before I continue, I applaud the men/husbands who not only cherish their wives, but help with the household chores, and should their wives be a stay-at-homer, compensate them by giving them allowances (sounds so archaic though) or freedom in the joint bank accounts realizing that two have become one. 

. . .

Men/Husbands, please know that your wives are reasonable and sensible human beings. Once women are convinced that both are on the same page, they will handle the joint financials at a profit! (This statement can further be blogged another day). Will be interesting to hear the viewpoints of men/husbands on this too. 

“A thrifty woman is better than a great income. A good wife and health are a man’s best wealth”

Charles H. Spurgeon

Men, please share your thoughts on this point (i.e., that women are reasonable and can profitably manage the joint account) by commenting below.

History to Present Day of Housewifing:

Traditionally, married women stayed at home, not for economic reasons but, as an honor and in submission to the man/husband as the head of the household. My grandma often told us that it was taboo in their days for a married woman to have a 9-to-5 job. The few women who did had “the female” professions such as nurses or teachers; not the CEO types nor were they ever seen in the boardroom. These women were seen as women who wanted to “wear-the-pants,” aka domineering.and in church-ish language could be termed, Jezebels.

Please read this article for more on historical housewifing: https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/The-1950s-Housewife/

Modern-day reasons for staying at home however are more for economic reasons. For example, child/daycare costs are astronomical, especially in a state like California where the 2019 GDP is $3.1 trillion (https://www.statista.com/statistics/248023/us-gross-domestic-product-gdp-by-state/). According to the Economic Policy Institute, the average daycare monthly cost in California is almost a $1,000 (https://www.epi.org/child-care-costs-in-the-united-states/) compared to $500 in Alabama whose 2019 GDP was $203.97 million. Understandably, daycare cost, like every other cost, is relative. However, $500 in Alabama is a huge expense for young families with infants and toddlers, coupled with the stress of wondering whether the daycare will provide the best care. It, therefore, makes good economic sense to have one parent stay home to care for the children.

Benefits of Stay-at-homers:

  • The truism of the adage “there’s no mom like one’s mother” becomes inevitable;
  • It’s cheaper as the money that could have been paid to the daycare provider can now be channeled to other use;
  • Children are in safer environments at home than with strangers;
  • Children are healthier as there’s no ping-ponging of sicknesses that stems from having the kids together particularly during the COVID-19 period;
  • The children are well-rested as the wife/mother doesn’t have to wake them up early for daycare so that she can be prompt for work; 
  • As the children grow and begin school and/or sports, they have Mom to always drop off/pick up on time instead of looking for help or leaving them till late before picking up;
  • Family time is valued as the husband can return to home-cooked meals, which can be eaten together as a family;
  • There’s overall peace of mind.

Disadvantages of being a housewife:

  • The man-husband becomes the sole provider;
  • As a result of #1 above, there’s a higher financial burden on the man-husband;
  • This in turn causes stress in the home;
  • In today’s living standards where two wage-earners have become essential, the opportunity-cost living on one income means some things would have to be forgone and must-haves now become luxuries;
  • The woman/wife does not have a “she” money and has to rely on the bacon brought home by her hubby;
  • There’s a stigma of inadequacy that the woman/wife suffers in her circle of family and friends;
  • “If their husbands are rich, they are frequently berated for being lazy; if they are immigrants, for keeping children from learning the language and ways of their host country.” https://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/21/world/europe/21iht-LETTER.html
  • It can be boring as the woman/wife is alone at home.

It’s a Choice!

Most housewives are educated and have chosen this path for several and varied reasons that range from personal, economic, religion, to class status. Some are because the woman/wife wanted to, or the man/husband requested that the woman stay home, or both agreed that it was the best decision for them as a family.

Whatever any family’s decision is, it is time for society to acknowledge this sector of people as essential hard workers and treat them as respectable as any working woman. Interestingly though, one article noted that “… the economic value housewives create remains within their home …” This is a sad statement to make as I believe that there is a spillover benefit that is derived from the contributions of the housewife towards her husband and children.

A 2017 New York Post article stated that millennials are forgoing the career/professional path for the comfort of the home/kitchen. Read the article here: https://nypost.com/2017/05/24/im-a-millennial-woman-and-id-rather-be-a-housewife/

I have personally been on both sides of the coin – as a professional lady as well as a housewife. If I have to choose another life, I will choose to stay at home. The housewife does a lot more with her time being home than manicure and pedicure. She needs to be compensated for the many hats that she wears or be openly appreciated.

"Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." 
- Proverbs 31:31 (NIV)

Please share your thoughts by commenting below. Thanks for reading.

Steer clear of work-at-home scams | FTC Consumer Information

As the Coronavirus continues to spread, you may be looking for ways to make money without ever stepping foot outside your door.
— Read on www.consumer.ftc.gov/blog/2020/07/steer-clear-work-home-scams

. . .

Everyone ought to subscribe to the Consumer FTC email/blog. The department notifies one on trending consumer issues such as this one and others, including retail stores or companies whose privacy issues have been violated and what one should do about it. Varied topics, such as health & fitness, money & credit, jobs, privacy, & online security are blogged. I have gotten beneficial information over the years from the site and know that you will too.

To subscribe, go to consumer.ftc.gov/blog, scroll down and click the [Get email updates] button.

Please share your thoughts below on the content of the site. Thank you.

More Is Caught Than Taught – Dr. Stephen R. Graves

More Is Caught Than Taught – Dr. Stephen R. Graves
— Read on stephenrgraves.com/articles/read/more-is-caught-than-taught/

Leadership. Leaders. Leaders and Leadership. We are all leaders in our own ways though many don’t ascribe to the title and some think that it’s humility to be titled a follower. We need both leaders and followers. As a matter of fact, every leader must be a follower or learn to follow at times; it’s a form of life balance.

The truth is that we are all one form of a leader in many ways.

I love leaders and leadership. I know that I haven’t blogged on it yet. Well, I’m sharing the first article/blog. I signed up for a webinar featuring Stephen R. Graves. It’s my first time hearing of him (I realize that there are a whole lot more great folks out there that I’m still yet to meet!) and decided to check him out before the day. This article/blog straight away caught my attention as it’s one of my favorite phrases.

The probability of leaders having like followers is higher than having dissimilar followers. Needless to say, leaders have to lead well.

Some things are taught, but many are caught. This phrase is particularly true with families. Without being specifically told, we find ourselves doing the same things we watch our parents do. We inherit their habits, styles, mannerisms, likes and dislikes, etc. My father loved to travel. When he does, we jest on how he packs like a woman because he overpacks. I realize now that I do the same; granted that I am the lady. And my daughters jest me on overpacking 😜. I justify my packing lol by responding that I do not want to buy things out there that I have at home and could have brought with me.

Guess what?! I now notice my daughters doing exactly the same! They caught my habit!

In the Bible, Elisha caught Elijah’s anointing and received a double-portion.

In essence, we ought to be mindful of all that we do because we never know who is watching!

What do you think? Leave your comments below. I hope you also learned something from Dr. Graves’ article.

Peace.

Recipe: Curry Chicken

Curry is an Indian favorite that has now become one of my family’s as well. We love curry; Curry chicken, curry beef, curry spinach, and curry rice (with or without shrimp). We also add curry to spice up our sauces and other foods.

Ingredients:

• 12 Chicken parts (thighs, wings, drumsticks, and breasts). Will recommend to use the chicken picnic or family packs that contain all four parts; else buy the packs individually.
• Oil (your choice)
• 1 medium Onion
• 2 Potatoes (Gold, Red, or Russet). • 6 oz Spinach (fresh or frozen – Optional)

Spices:

• 6 Tablespoons of Curry (Madras or other kind)
• 2 Tablespoons of Cumin
• 2 Tablespoons of Turmeric (Substitute with Fresh Turmeric Root – peeled and sliced)
• Black Pepper (or slice 1/2 habanero for hot $ spicy)
• 1 Tablespoon of Italian seasoning
• Bay leave
• 1 tablespoon of Corn Starch
• 2 Chicken bouillon

Cooking Instructions:

1. Place chicken parts in cooking pot
2. Rinse once
3. Slice (or dice) onion and add to chicken
4. Add the Italian seasoning, 1 chicken bouillon, and 1 tablespoon of salt.
5. Add 4 cups of water and cover

6. Boil for 10 minutes or till tender, but not too tenderized. Be mindful not to over-boil as the chicken parts fall to pieces the longer it’s on the cooker.

7. Add the potatoes; peel and cut into 4-6 parts
8. Add the curry, cumin, turmeric, bay leaves, and the other chicken bouillon.
9. Add oil and stir
10. Simmer for 10 minutes
11. Mix 1 tablespoons of corn starch into a cup of water
12. Pour into curry sauce.
13. Stir; making sure there are no lumps
14. Simmer for another 5 minutes
15. Add the black pepper
16. Optional: add spinach
17. Let simmer fir a minute or two.

Chicken Curry is ready. Enjoy with Basmati rice or your preferred choice of rice for lunch or dinner 😍

Try this recipe, or any of the other posted recipes, and leave a comment. Thanks

Prayer: What you may not know about it

Today, I want to talk about prayers. This issue has been togging on my heart to share. So, here it is:

[ Quoted scriptures are from the King Janes Version of the Holy Bible ]

“If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”
‭‭2 Chronicles‬ ‭7:14‬

What is Prayer?

Prayer (or praying) is a form of communication between people and God. It is merely a conversation which can be in the form of a request, call (or shout) for help, thanksgiving, supplication, seeking, or showing gratitude. Knowing when to engage in one form of prayer over the other is key to answered prayers. I deem prayer as a form of humility where I’m telling Father God that I cannot do “this thing” by myself, but with Him “I can do all things…” (Philippians 4:13)

Lord Jesus prayed (Matthew 26:36-44). We also can learn from his manner of prayer. Every religion prays; Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, even the dark kingdoms, etc. The difference is distinguishable in the channel/source of the prayer.

Prayers can be in the individual’s local or heavenly language. The local language as in English, Spanish, Yoruba, Chinese, Mandarin, Tagalog, Hebrew, Swahili, etc, or any other native dialect.The heavenly language is when the individual speaks in tongues.

Speaking in tongues is in the New Testament and can either be a gift or can be desired. Because it is in the New Testament, speaking in tongues is still relevant and powerful today. Please note that speaking in tongues is different from chanting. Because all truths are parallel; some might say that speaking in tongues and chanting are similar. This blog/platform is not to debate that stance.

Which is more effective?

Personally speaking, there is a time and place for each; that is, praying in one’s local language versus praying in tongues.

“Yet in the church, I had rather speak five words with my understanding, that by my voice I might teach others also, than ten thousand words in an unknown tongue.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭14:19‬

I love praying in tongues as it not only strengthens the inner (spirit) man, (1 Corinthians 14:4) but most importantly it bypasses the individual’s mind/intellect and is a direct communication to God. (1 Corinthians 14:2)

Prayer Styles include:

  • silently or (keeping still in the presence of God)
  • fervently (James 5:16)
  • groaning before God
  • crying/weeping unto God (Hebrews‬ ‭5:7‬, Jeremiah‬ ‭11:14, 48:5‬, Psalm 141:1, Judges 6:7, etc.)

These forms of prayer are particularly famous with King David in the Bible. We also can adopt them.

. . .

Prayer Postures

Kneeling is a favorite posture of prayer by a majority of people. Other anomalistic postures include prostrating before God (2 Samuel‬ ‭12:16‬b), standing, walking around, sitting, etc.

I know that God answers prayer any which way; irrespective of posture. The posture is not as important as one’s HEART.

. 🙏 .

Prayer can be said privately, in a group of two or more, or corporately as in a church setting.

“Not all private prayer is effective, but private prayer is rewarding”

Unknown, Grace for Purpose

The private prayer, the one-to-one communication, is the type when you enter into your “closet” aka your designated place of meeting with Father God.

“…, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; …”

Matthew‬ ‭6:6‬a

I love this video from Grace for Purpose YouTube page. Please listen to it as it will bless you and your day.

Group prayer. “Where two or more are gathered in my name, there will I be.” Group prayer is when you join with a spouse or friend(s) to pray; bringing an issue before God and coming into an agreement over the issue.

Corporate prayer. It has often been said that prayer is the foundation of the church. Many churches designate about an hour for special prayers where church members (often with the prayer group leading if the church has such a group. If not church elders or leaders lead the prayer/prayer points by coming together to pray for the church, its members, church’s needs, cities, nations, and/or for other specific needs.

What is the best time to pray?

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Jesus woke up early to pray (Mark 1:35). The above Grace for Purpose video also collaborates this. As such, I prefer the morning as the best time to pray.

Most people often start their days getting physically-charged by exercising and/or going to the gym. Others do yoga for the mental-/emotional-charge. I prefer starting my day with prayer to be spiritually-charged as it takes care of all three – physical, mental, and emotional. Besides, one might get a revelation for the day! One unique word direct from God (aka revelation) to your spirit man, can take care of something(s) that could have taken you years to resolve!

Having said that, if you start your day with prayer, it is only wise to end your day also with a prayer. But, prayer in between your work (business or college) days is equally beneficial.

. . .

The Holy Bible talks of other prayer times such as the morning watch (1 Samuel 11:11), middle watch (Judges 7:19, Luke 12:38), third watch, and fourth watch (Matthew 14:25, Mark 6:48). The watches in this usage are specific three-hour blocks of time in a 24-hour clock.

According to The Global Watch, “The Hebrew watch was divided into three watches, the first, middle and morning watch. As the Roman influence and supremacy was established, the number of watches increased to four and were described in numerical order

  1. 1st (6pm – 9pm);
  2. 2nd (9pm – 12am);
  3. 3rd (12am – 3am); and
  4. 4th (3am – 6am).”

I do not suppose that God cares about the time one prays because He has specific assignments for each person. While some are early risers/worms, some are night owls. Some people work regular hours, while some work night or grave shifts. The hours and duration that you designate for meeting with Father God will accordingly be uniquely you.

. . .

I will recommend prayer before a business meeting; pray for your business outcomes, and even your customers and suppliers. It is wisdom to commit every business decision to God even before starting it. I also recommend that one prays while at work, during your lunch break, while running your errands, in the gym, etc. Pray particularly for your home, spouses, children, family, your doctors, lawyers, accountants, your children’s friends, and their families, your children’s teachers; practically pray for everyone and everything that concerns you.

Did I hear your sigh that this is a lot of praying? It seems so, but all the above could be done in about 15 minutes. Once you get started, the fifteen minutes would seem insufficient that you’ll desire to increase your time with Father God as you deem fit. Incremental times of 15 minutes are great till you get to where you feel you’ve given your best time. One-liner prayers, such as Help me! or Heal me! are equally as effective. Your prayer does not always have to be lengthy or repetitive because Father God is not so interested in how long (quantity of time), but the quality of your time is more important to Him. The quality of time with Papa God should be free from distractions. Give Him your best time; be it 15, 30, or 60 minutes.

It is also best to designate a praying spot and block out the praying time. Once designated, be diligently prompt and consistent as He will always meet you there.

Please note that though some people might have a gift of praying, realize that none was born a prayer warrior. Every prayer warrior began somewhere. I remember when I always wished that I would not be called upon to pray at home-groups.

. . .

I will be amiss if I do not mention that prayer without corresponding action is futile. Once you’ve brought your issues (or concerns) before Father God, you need to get up and take the necessary step(s) for action. After you’ve prayed, believe that Father God has heard you and be expectant (Mark 11:24). Father’s answer to your prayer often falls into either a:

“Yes” – you receive exactly what you asked for;

“No” – you do not receive exactly what you prayed for, but you get something that Father God knows you either need or is better for you.

“Wait” – this has to do with the timing of your request and means that your request will be answered later.

. . .

Generally speaking, prayer ought to be soothing and should never agitate the person, the person’s spirit, nor a situation. Any prayer agitating anyone’s spirit is often not a godly prayer.

🙏🏾.🙏.🙏🏼.

I hope you learned a new thing or two. Please comment below to share. May you be richly rewarded publicly what you have spent your private time doing in the Name of Jesus.

Caveat: this blog on prayer is not exhaustive. There’s much more that can be written on the topic. But I hope this helps on your journey to praying and spending time with Father God.

Peace.

Mental Health: Women and Home Management

www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/what-is-the-mental-load

The awareness of mental health issues keep growing. Now we recognize a lot of health issues (that lead to diseases) that previously had been ignored.

I came across this article via a Twitter feed. Informative and worth reading.

Women have been pitched into “holding the home forth.” Little do the men/husband/significant others realize that the home forth involves a lot – being the CEO, CIO, CSO (Chief Strategic Officer), CAO (Chief Administrative Officer), CFO, CIO (Chief Internal Officer), CPRO (Chief Public Relations Officer), and Chief chauffeur. Ladies, let me know if I omitted any title. At the end of the day, the woman is exhausted and has no gas left for other important tasks. Yes, women can delegate the chores if they can afford it. But for those who can’t, this article will help on how to manage yourself and your home. Enjoy and share your thoughts by commenting below.

Peace.

Happy Father’s Day

Girl Daddy

Click here https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2019/06/father-day-celebrates-today-190616060505310.html for the history of Father’s Day

. . .

To all fathers worldwide
But particularly to fathers
in the countries celebrating Father’s Day today;

Thank you for the patriarchal leading
and gathering of all your children under your arms
That are so broad and strong
Yet so caring and stern

Thank you for your guidance
And protection;

For waking up early everyday
To bring home the bacon
So that your children and family
Will be sufficiently provided for
And not go without the necessities of life;
Thank you for the little extras you add
That makes you the special provider;

Thank you for all that you do
Which sometimes goes unappreciated
Yet you never stop giving and doing;

We pause today
To celebrate all that you represent
To let you know
How much we care, love, and appreciate you
We want to pause for you everyday
But wish that you weren’t so busy
We want to pause for you to rest
And wish that you will take of us the best

We want to pause for you today

For icecream and cake

Or golf

Or a walk with you in the garden

We want to pause for you
And shout it out loud
That you are the very best.

Happy Father’s Day
June 21, 2020

You simply are the BEST!

. . .

Happy Father’s Day
to the Father of all fathers
Whose attributes are a trillion times more than all the above
Who sits majestically on His Throne
Watching over his sons below
Guiding and directing their paths
So they can be all that He’s created them to be

We love you Our Father
Who art in heaven
We hallow your name
Today as always
And anticipate always
That Your Kingdom
Come now.
Thank you for truly being
The Omnipotent, Omniscient, and Omnipresent.
We love You Father

The Father of all fathers


Today and always;

Happy Father’s Day
June 21, 2020

Lion of The Tribe of Judah

Jesus Ministry Part 2

Jesus is both God and man.

In the previous blog, Jesus Ministry, I shared Jesus’ primary ministry which attests to his divine. This blog continues with sharing Jesus Ministry; albeit his relatable humanism.

. . .

Throughout the Bible, we’re informed that Jesus’s divinity was questioned by his own tribe. However for those of us who believe, we believe that Jesus was both God and man. How can He be both Deity and man? No way! But, oh yes, way.

As human beings, we acknowledge that we are a spirit with a soul living in a shell called our body, right? Also known as tripartite (three-part) being. This is the sane pattern with King Jesus.

Anyways, today’s blog is not about a theological lecture. 🙂 I’m continuing to lay and draw some foundational parallels to Jesus’s humanity and us. Here goes:

  • Jesus was rejected, despised, and a man of sorrow (Luke 9:22, 17:25, Mark 8:31, 1 Samuel 8:7, Isaiah 53:3)
  • Jesus was tempted (Mark‬ ‭1:13‬, Luke 20:23, John 8:6, Hebrews 2:18)
  • Jesus was persecuted (John 5:16) • He was oppressed and afflicted (Isaiah 53:7)
  • Jesus suffered (Luke 17:25, Acts 17:3, 2 Cor 1:5, 2Timothy 3:12)
  • Jesus was betrayed (Mark 3:19, John 18:5, Matthew 26:25)
  • Jesus was lied upon (Luke 6:16,
  • Jesus cried (Matthew 27:46, Mark 15:37, Luke 23:46, John 12:44,...)

The essence of blogging this is threefold:

1. to remind Christians, yet again, that “the servant is not greater than his Lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; (John‬ ‭15:20‬) “and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.” (2 Timothy‬ ‭3:12‬)

2. to inform non-Christians of the reason(s) why Christians seem to be going through sometimes much more than others, and finally,

3. that our light affliction is temporary (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).

As it is written, “if we suffer with him, we shall also reign with him (2 Timothy 2:12).

“Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.”
‭‭(Matthew‬ ‭5:11‬)‬‬

What are your thoughts as a Christian or non-Christian. Please share below.

Thanks for reading.

Real Talk with Kirk Franklin

www.youtube.com/playlist

I didn’t want to blog today, but couldn’t resist sharing this because it’s church-day Sunday. And though not all houses of worship are opened, we can still do church in our homes. The video just popped up on my phone.

. . .

Change and issues begin with dialogue/conversation. What does one do when the folks who one looks up to drops the ball? Church, the Law, the System … everyone. We cannot over-emphasize the need for change. The atmospheric conditions of America must change fast!

“Hear my heart, not my words” is a favorite phrase of mine. Watch the video to hear Kirk’s heart and let’s hear your heart by commenting below, too.

Peace!

p.s. enjoying my day 😎

Harvard psychologist: The most emotionally intelligent people have these 12 traits

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, understand, and manage one’s emotions relative to others.

Harvard psychologist: The most emotionally intelligent people have these 12 traits
— Read on www.google.com/amp/s/www.cnbc.com/amp/2020/06/09/harvard-psychology-researcher-biggest-traits-of-emotional-intelligence-do-you-have-them.html

Expert, author, and Harvard psychologist, Daniel Goleman, gives five key elements and twelve traits worth having for the most emotional intelligent people. Which of these traits do you possess?

Happy reading and questing.

Help Your Family by Organizing Your Finances | ICMA-RC

| Want to give your spouse and other heirs a gift they will truly appreciate? Get your financial affairs in order.
— Read on www.icmarc.org/

I received this today and thought that it is invaluable information worth sharing. Please read and take necessary action.

ICMA-RC [https://www.icmarc.org/about-us/history.html] is the public sector equivalent of 401K.

Don’t leave your estate’s financial planning undone or till the last minute. It removes uncertainty and the additional stress of having to figure things out for our loved ones.

. . .

Most of us feel uncomfortable talking about wills, estate, and/or death. If we recognize that death is inevitable, why wouldn’t we want to plan ahead for it?

Please share your thoughts on this below. Thanks

The Patriarch Part 2

Photo by Mike on Pexels.com

Men ought to know

Men ought to know many things before they decide to marry. What men need to know before marriage is not taught in schools neither is how to treat women or the woman they marry.  So, who teaches men about relationships or marital responsibilities – Dads, Moms, uncles, mentors, government, neighbors, etc.? Should this be a shared responsibility or self-responsibility? I propose that it should be a shared responsibility.  Parents ought to take the primary lead of teaching and setting marital expectations for the man. The man, in turn, should explore other learning avenues such as reading books on marriage, counseling with religious leaders, and asking men (or women because each perspective is different) who have had successful marriages.   What do men do when there is no parental role model, or such role models are dysfunctional?

The Patriarch had no role model in any areas of his life. Remember, his dad died when he was six years old.  He does not even own a picture of his dad.  He was an only child at the time and had an uncle who wanted to act as a father but was both very controlling and envious of The Patriarch’s popularity, even as a child. 

Uncle BK (UBK), as he was known by all, did his best to belittle The Patriarch, but could not succeed.  He then resorted to using witchcraft and juju (fetish) on him.  The Patriarch once had a dream of Uncle BK coming into his bedroom to physically attack him. He woke up angry and shaking with rage narrating the attack and how he had to use everything in his bedroom (armchair, bathroom scale, telephone) to disarm the man. He wanted to call Uncle BK, but his mom prevented him from doing so. It will only worsen the already bad situation. The situation however worsened as other things happened in the natural that were considered spiritually evil.

What did he do to deserve these attacks?

One day, Patriarch’s driver arrived early to take his children to school. The school was one of the prestigious elementary schools about 35 miles away from home.  With traffic, the drive to school could take one to one-and-a-half hours. The Patriarch ensured that his children were never late to school and never received any tardy note.  As such, they always had to leave home much earlier.  Often, the children slept on their way to school.

On this day, as the driver was cleaning the car, he noticed some weird looking nails about 3-4” long, two each facing upwards in the front and back of each tire.  He put on a pair of gloves and carefully removed the nails.  If he hadn’t found those nails, all tires would have busted and probably caused extreme damages to not only the car but probably The Patriarch’s children.

Another car incident happened in The Patriarch’s hometown with his other driver.  On this day, about two days to his annual party, the driver found an enormous white egg in the trunk of The Patriarch’s Mercedes Benz.  What was the egg doing still right in the center of the trunk?  Again, the driver took the egg and threw it in a nearby bush. The explosion far exceeded what an egg sound could make.  Then there was smoke.

Another incident was when a long-legged bird with eyes as flaming red as fire visited the house and was pecking viciously at everything in its way.  The bird flew around the cars and house looking for an entry into The Patriarch’s home.  It took four men and about six hours to capture the bird.  Decisions as to what to do with the “evil” bird went back and forth. One said to burn it, another said no, kill it. Then another said, just keep it till The Patriarch wakes up.  Yet another said, no, The Patriarch must not see it.  Whatever! The children yelled at the driver to take them to school.  Before he left, the driver placed a huge wooden mortar over the bird and a huge rock over the mortar to prevent it from moving.  Eyewitnesses said the bird was still alive almost twelve hours after wrestling to escape from under the wooden mortar and rock!

Uncle BK made it known to everyone in the family that he was responsible for the many fetishes and that he wanted to know how “strong” The Patriarch was.  His mom begged him to be careful of Uncle BK.  

The last straw

On yet another incident, while awaiting the arrival of the then State Governor with his entourage, The Patriarch was merry with his friends who had gathered to welcome the Governor. Uncle BK also came to join them. The Patriarch beckoned the maid to bring a clean glass for UBK. UBK rejected the clean glass and insisted that he wants to use The Patriarch’s glass. His friends were puzzled and one of the friends asked UBK why. But The Patriarch asked his friends to chill and handed his drinking glass to UBK. UBK took the glass to his mouth oblivious of the stirs directed at him. He sipped a pill into the drink and handed it back to The Patriarch. As The Patriarch reached to take the glass, a couple of his friends jumped to snatch and probably knock it out of his hands because they all saw the pill when it was dropped and watch as it fizzled. Patriarch saw it too but kept his posture. He again called the maid and handed the glass to him. As the maid walked towards the kitchen, the glass cracked into his hands!

Everyone present was appalled that a family member could do such a thing to his nephew. The Patriarch was unperturbed. He stated that it was a distraction that will be dealt with later. He would not allow his focus to shift.

. . .

The Governor and his entourage did arrive. The Patriarch and his friends played host. But another commotion ensued afterward.

Your confidence can sometimes mislabel you

One’s confidence, looks, or personality can sometimes cause one to be unnecessarily mislabeled. Patriarch was a confident and hardworking man.  His personality betrays his meekness, humility, and loyalty such that he was a target of envy and jealousy.  Some think that he is arrogant and proud. Others would say that he was cocky. But secretly they all wished that they possessed his charisma and confidence.

He was appreciated more by distant friends and relatives than by his close friends and family.  Though hard to trust anyone, The Patriarch still led, helped, and provided not only for his family but also for his extended family.  He appeared to know what he wanted in life and would not allow anyone to distract him from getting those things.  

. . .

Brown Concrete House

He converted his home from a single-story four-room house to a two-story duplex.  The home at the back was dedicated to his mom, sister, and cousin.

Did I just say, his sister? Yes, The Patriarch had a sister born because of his mom being betrothed to his uncle!  What a culture?!  I hope that tradition is dead!

The Patriarch also remodeled the family home in his hometown.  Several years later he would buy himself land and build his custom home.

This custom home was controversial because the then government of the State would not allow him to add an overpass and, as such, the completion was unnecessarily delayed. In his country, homes are built cash, not financed, and within a short time.

While building, The Patriarch received an unusual visitor as he was leaving the site.  According to The Patriarch, his salutations to the visitor endeared them to each other such that the visitor had to confess his mission.  His mission was to visit the site to bury some more fetishes that would make it impossible for The Patriarch to ever complete the building.  After the exchange of pleasantries, the visitor then gave The Patriarch some advice as to how to proceed uninterrupted with the building.  The Patriarch’s new residence was finally completed with a house-warming party of well-wishers and naysayers.  His new residence is his pride and home of comfort. 

Love Your Life Clipboard Decor

The Patriarch grew up looking for love albeit in all the wrong directions. He loved the good things of life; fashion – both his native and western wears were always a statement, wristwatches (Rolex, Cartier, etc.), jewelry in all the carats, and shoes that shone you could see your teeth in them.  He also indulged in cars – like a collection.

The Patriarch always threw an annual party.  It was galore of food – cows, goats, chicken, fish dishes of every imaginable kind; drinks – beer, champagne, brandy, whiskey, liqueur; fashion, and the who-is-who in society.  The streets are blocked and, staged leading musicians, with their bands, on opposite ends of the streets, dishing out renditions of their latest songs.  Sometimes there is a third musician.  Even the musicians rally to be the lead for his parties.  Those parties were always a one-to-remember and talked about till the following year. 

He was not a politician, but he was a friend to both the ruling-party politicians and their opposition, as well as the government.  At times, it felt that the politicians reserved their best showdowns to be displayed at his party.

On one such party, his friend who was from the opposing political party, with his entourage, called to inform The Patriarch that he was on his way to his party. He had RSVP’d stating that he was unsure whether he would be able to attend. The phone call was received while UBK was performing his ugly deed. What would he do? He had no idea how nearby his friend and his entourage were as he forgot to ask amid the pandemonium. It is not uncommon for political figures, governors, as well as prominent people in his country to move about with entourages whether or not they were on official duties.

His friend arrived before the Governor. They took up the whole living room and stayed longer than necessary that The Patriarch had to call the Governor’s office to request that he come later. But the Governor’s Secretary announced that they were already on the way. The Patriarch could not ask his friend to leave; that would be rude and will affect their friendship.

The Governor and his entourage arrived and a message was sent to The Patriarch. As the message was given to him, his friend said, “Oh we’re ready to leave anyways.” It was a relief. But as he escorted them out, they had to walk by the Governor and his entourage. So, they did while his friends helped make them comfortable till The Patriarch’s return. It is customary for the Governor to show up and stay only for about 30 minutes to an hour. On this day, the Governor chose to stay only a few minutes. He was infuriated. He stated that the “clash of the titans” was planned to insult him and his entourage. The Patriarch, with his friends, profusely apologized to the Governor while letting him know that it was all impromptu. The lead musician for the night, who was privy to the happenings, started playing a calming apologetic song. As the song began, the Governor calmed and relaxed to enjoy the night.

He stopped by the bandstand to start the night party and left.

What a night. The party continued until the wee morning hours.

The Patriarch was up early the next day. After all the commotion, one would be surprised that he slept at all. He and his friends visited the Governor to once again apologize and appease him.

Understanding the Grief and Loss Cycle

This is so true and helpful for everyone irrespective of whether or not one has lost a loved one. Since death is inevitable, knowing beforehand the different phases of grief, and when it does happen to be prepared, can help one navigate those moments.

I went through the five cycles by Dr. Perry when I lost two loved ones within six weeks. I was particularly angry because I had wrestled with God to heal them both (a blog topic for another day) and felt confident that they would be healed. I called one of them to inform that I would be visiting. Unfortunately, I did not make it to see either of them. It is my opinion that a few family members are still grieving the loss.
Just as I finally accepted the loss, almost four years after, we lost another loved one. These losses have had their toll on the family, that makes Kristina McMorris’ quote equally true. But, in the memory of the departed loved ones, we will not allow the world to prevail but for the departed to keep smiling and hailing us on.

Dr. Eric Perry

Written by Dr. Eric Perry
Image Credit: Pixabay


“The whole world can become the enemy when you lose what you love.” ~Kristina McMorris

The cycle of life is both beautiful and heartbreaking. From the moment of our birth, we share a common destiny with the rest of the world. The mortality that connects us makes life that much more remarkable. Knowing that death awaits us and our loved ones may be a haunting and difficult thought to bear. Truly, one of the most difficult and painful moments of a person’s life will be the death of a loved one. At these moments, grief is a normal and healthy response to loss. For some, the death of a loved one will result in overwhelming and devastating emotions that cannot be fully processed alone.

The loss may affect the ability to function in everyday life and maylead to depression, anxiety, and other…

View original post 873 more words

Dear younger me

If I knew then what I know now, I would have done many things differently. Yet, no regrets. The paths were meant for me to take as I now realized the the invisible Sovereign hands were guarding, guiding, and steering me all along.

10 things you need to learn sooner in life

1. Cultivate a relationship with God

I believed that there is a God. As a kid, I talked to an invisible being but did not know who I was talking to until I became a Christian in my later adult life. How I wish I knew Him sooner. Learning early in life the order of honor (God first, family second, all others next) would help put everything else in the right perspective. Find Him sooner.

2. Listen more to your parents and spend quality time with them

Honoring one’s parents is the first commandment with a promise. Though I disagreed occasionally with my parents, I never disrespected them. I loved them dearly. As a parent, I recognize that parents are not always right. The truth is that parents are also learning-on-the-job as they raise their children. But most parents desire the best for their children, young or adult, and might sometimes not know how to communicate those desires in a manner that the children might understand.

I never lived with my mother and missed the mother-daughter bonding and connection. Though I had a strong father-daughter relationship, I acknowledge that the roles of fathers and mothers are so uniquely different yet interconnected and one cannot be substituted for the other.

Spend quality time with your parents now and, when you leave home, visit them frequently.

3. Listen more to your instincts (intuition, gut feeling, etc.)

Whatever you call it, know that it is a gift that will work the more you use it. Pay attention to it, accept it, follow it, and don’t second-guess yourself or your gift.

The first step toward change is awareness. The second is acceptance.”

Nathaniel Branden

4. Speak the truth more in love rather than abrasively

No one wants to hear your truth until they understand you care for them. You might be right, but might shut-off people with loud or harsh words. The truth spoken in love, coupled with soft responses, are a true disarming pair.

5. Always let your parents/family know who your friends are

My grandmother always advised that there were different categories of friendships: acquaintances (slight, but not close friends), colleagues (work but not necessarily close friends), activity friends (e.g. sports, party, etc.), and buddies (close friends). Know who your friends are. Never lump them all in one bucket and never be friends with anyone you will not be proud to take home or introduce to your parents. Note that not all friends will pick up your call or be enthused to open their doors to you when you knock at 3:00 a.m. Categorizing your friends will also help you avoid unnecessary disappointments.

Invite your friends home so your family knows who you’re hanging out with. You’ll be glad you did.

6. Just as there is a reason why meals are differentiated breakfast, lunch, and dinner, there’s a reason why you ought to do life in the right order: go to school (middle, high, college) before getting married or having babies

Order is the law of life and life is manageable when the sequences are followed. True, there are rare exceptions to all sequences, but except you’re a genius in your craft, those exceptions might not apply to you.

If within your power, choose to complete your education first before marriage and starting a family.

7. Life development is essential, may be critical, in these areas – educationally, financially, physically, and spiritually

Decide on what you want to study, how long you’d like to study (for example, 1st degree, 2nd, PhD, JD, two 2nd degree, add a vocational, etc.) and go for it.

Schools have never been known to teach financial education; wish it will be added to the k – 12 curricula. Nonetheless, there is some teaching you can do on your own. Research and learn it sooner. What is the best saving instrument? What does the FICO score mean? What do I need to do to increase my score? What are the requirements for buying a car or house?

Physical development includes healthy habits (eating, sleeping, playing, exercising, no drugs, etc.). It also includes your regular wellness check-ups. Do your part early and your body will serve you longer.

Everyone is yearning for things in life that can only be satisfied with the knowledge of and intimacy with God. As a Christian, how I wish that everyone was or became a Christian. However, connecting with God is personal. Find yours. As you take time to develop yourself in other areas, it is equally important to develop yourself spiritual for a balanced life.

8. Are you cut out for marriage or singleness?

“There are eunuchs that are made by God; there are those made by men, and there are those having made themselves so for the kingdom of heaven’s sake …”

Matthew 19:12 KJV (King James’ Version)

Know what each (institute; yes they’re both institutes!) entails; responsibilities, benefits, and disadvantages, etc. and be prepared to work it truthfully till the end; except, of course, God redirects your steps.

9. Look for potentials in your mate and not necessarily the cool dude or prettiest girl in town. Not that this is bad of itself, but it is vanity

If you decide that marriage is for you, look for potentials with the longer-term in mind. Ask yourself if your partner is the type of man or woman whom you’d be happy with for the rest of your life, do you have the same values or anything in common, will you still be the loving spouse when the physical characteristics change such as becoming bald, putting on weight, etc.?

10. Be intentional about success.

Think early about being successful in life. What does success mean to you? Paint a picture of it and pursue it relentlessly.

. . .

All the best to you, My Younger Me. I wish I knew these sooner in my own life journey.

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

We wear many hats and should refrain from limiting our analysis of issues to a singular

Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Pexels.com

I propose that anyone who has lived at least a couple of decades on planet earth, will undoubtedly have some things and values that can be shared such as experiences in life, career, business, gifts, talents, etc. These valuable things transcend family, education, career, business, cultures, and more. The more the decades on earth, the deeper, varied, and sometimes hilarious the experiences. Generally speaking, the 40-/50-year old undoubtedly would have more life experiences than the 18-/25-year old. Only in few rare cases would there be exceptions to this statement.

“If elders could bequeath their experience and knowledge of life to children without the children making any mistakes, they would save them from a lifetime of heartaches.”

― Neena H. Brar, Tied to Deceit

One hat doesn’t always fit all

Having said this, I believe that people’s experiences and reactions to issues vary and are uniquely individualistic. However, we live in a culture that tries to put everyone, and every issue, in a box. For example, a father reacting to an issue concerning his son or daughter will exhibit certain emotions which might not necessarily be objective because it concerns his son/daughter. However, the same man will react differently to an issue concerning a colleague or subordinate at work; and even so differently if the subordinate were his son.

Another instance is in the medical field where certain medical guides are used across board for everyone. For instance the BMI formula, which uses one’s weight and divides it by the square of one’s height, has become the yardstick to measure an individual’s obesity tendencies. (https://bit.ly/2W1c7jB)


The BMI does not take into consideration the ethic background (Asian ladies are generally petite in stature; whereas African ladies are generally “thick”). Barbie-type African ladies are often deemed to be malnourished. BMI also ignores muscle mass, bone density, or other body structures of the individual. Yet, BMI has been accepted in the USA as the norm for gauging obesity and we are all expected to accept it!

The point that I’m making is that we should analyze issues from varied points before forming a conclusion. But, should we choose to form a conclusion based on a specific viewpoint, we need to offer that viewpoint so that readers are aware of our stand. For example, a mother, might sign a petition for more prisons to be built so that criminals are taken off our streets. The mother is wearing her citizen’s hat. However, the mother, wearing her mother hat, might not be enthused to having the prison built in her neighborhood.

The issues we talk, write, or blog would be analyzed, wearing different hats, and with the purpose to better inform the reader. Since the issues are varied, the audience will also be varied. The audience will eventually be narrowed down to a niche. Our hope is that the target niche, within the year, would hopefully have learned a thing or two from the wisdom nuggets shared.

Happy reading!

We Yearn and Thirst for …

Everyone is searching for something yet not all know what it is that they are searching for.

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We work round-the-clock searching for more money. We are glad when a raise is given; we earned it, right? The boss finally recognizes all of my efforts. But, a year later, we’re asking for another raise and more money. Whoever said that one never has enough money did not lie. More money is only an example. The search could be for power, success, love, food, friends, more degrees than the thermometer (credit to Bishop T.D. Jakes!), cars, shoes, etc. I am not advocating idleness or truancy. But that no-one ought to work like a dog before making enough to sustain self and family. Many folks work two or three jobs just to make ends meet. There might be other reason(s) why some folks have to work more than one job: for example, having a side hustle, working a business in order to quit a 9-to-5 job or a hobby. These are normal occurrences. The ones we need to think and talk about is the “I-don’t-have-a-choice-than-to-do-these-two-jobs.” A two-job earner barely rests because s/he moves from one job to the next and repeat the next day and the next … The lack of rest causes stress and one is easily agitated.

Higher is calling

There is a higher calling us all yet we all do not pause to ask “Who?” or “Why?” or “Why me and to where?” We are just too busy! It is a fast-paced world, right? Else one will be left behind! But no, it is not. It is just a fast-paced world in our part of the continents, America. Because the last time, I checked, Italy takes a summer break for a month (https://bit.ly/3d2tffn), Europeans are known to take national naps and their women go on six-months’ maternity leave with pay (https://bit.ly/35iCWE3), right? while Africans take a rest justifying that “I can’t kill myself!” Even the Creator of the Universe rested. Why not you; why not me; and why not us? One thing I know for sure (credit to Oprah) is that the Creator of the Universe has a way of keeping one still. I ask the one who cannot take a break, and God forbid this: “what happens when you’re involved in an accident and become bedridden for weeks?” Or the inevitable stroke and/or paralysis occur? Unfortunately, sometimes it is necessary to paint this ugly picture for one to get it. 

Why allow the taskmaster to drive you endlessly?!

Visitors to California echo that it is a highly paced State. That the culture is different in other States. The visitors wonder why we are too time-conscious and cannot relax for a second. I have not lived in other states to experience the difference but I’m curious to find out. Please share your experiences in the comments below if you agree that California (and probably, New York) is highly fast-paced compared to other States.

The one good thing that COVID-19 has done for us all is to take a critical look at ourselves; our business, and to put our lives into a perspective. We all have been forced to sit still. If we could sit still and survive the last two or three months, we can accept this new norm going forward.

Rest is essential to the body and, in resting, we can be still and pay attention to each other, our neighbors, our environments, and our nation. We can communicate (as in listening) and value one another. But most importantly, in rest, you meditate, communicate with your inner self, and a higher being. You are calmer, peaceful, and notice a lot of things and details that others would miss. 

While writing this blog, I stumbled upon a new word “sehnsucht,” which sums up the kind of yearning that this blog is about. 

I propose to you that whenever there’s an insatiable hunger (or thirst) for something, there’s always an underlying issue that needs to be dealt with. Often, that issue is internal, deeper, and the solution can only be found in drawing nearer to the Creator for He’s the only One who can satisfy. The next time you yearn for more, take time to sit still and ask the Creator for help, to speak to you, and share your experience.