Is A Parent’s Job Ever Done?

Dear Parents,

  1. How do you know if you’ve done a great job at parenting, home training, and/or raising your adult children?
  2. What yardsticks do you use to measure their success?
  3. Is’t by your adult children having successfully completed high school, college, professional studies, or being married?
  4. If they’re not married, does being unmarried equate unsuccessful?
  5. And if they are married, does being happily married or otherwise, with or without children, count as success?
  6. Are you culpable for the choices that your adult children make after the age of 18 (or 21 in some countries) which coincidentally are the years that they are in college and, technically, you have no control over them – what they do, whether or not they’re going to class, or are busy partying away, or the friends (or relationships) they choose to cultivate?

As a parent of two young adults, these, and many more, questions run amok in my head most days. One of my adult children once said, “Mom, you never tell us these things.” Referring to not sharing enough of our culture with them. Which brings me to the next question:

  1. How do you know what to share and when to share?
  2. Is it possible to share everything that you know with your children or adult children?

Let’s talk. Let’s dialogue.

Answer all the above questions in the Comments, or pick any question to answer and/or elaborate on. Sharing your opinion will help us all.

The goal is to help each other.

Thanks for sharing your knowledge, experience, and two-cents. 😍

10 thoughts

  1. Lol Shelly DS! You kind of planned your daughter’s life. And you want her to live next door!!! You crack me up. At least you voiced it out; hopefully she’ll dote on you and honor your wishes (I said that with tongue in cheek!). My older daughter told me while in HS that she’d move and live in the East Coast (in essence far away from us) once she graduates. My response was “great, that means that I have another home in the East Coast.” Though she’s now independently living, we still live in the same city. My other daughter meanwhile wants to live close enough. 🤔 The same loins but different in character. Both lovable in their own right.

    You’re right that “the same way we make our own choices, our children will too.”And, you know we could write a book on “deciding to follow parents’ advice,” right? Candid talk.
    The truth is that parents are not always right; most of us learned on-the-job as we go along the parenting years. We continue to hope for their best.

    Like

  2. Well stated. Thanks SeanKFletcher. I love the “gee, Dad – you make it sound like you were there,” or “you must have been around when the dinosaurs roamed the earth.” 😆 I get more of the former in my household.
    I also agree on accepting the consequences for their actions. I appreciate your contribution.
    We do our part and hope and pray for the best for them.
    Thanks

    Liked by 1 person

  3. These are things I worry about all the time. I want my daughter to grow up, get a stable job, find a lovely man with a stable income, have three babies. And I want her to live next door to me. The problem is that the same way we make our own choices, our children will too. It is our duty to teach them values, help them find their passion and keep them grounded. But it is entirely their decision to follow our advice.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sometimes, Linda and I look at each other, and then apologise when we see our very grown up children demonstrate certain negative traits – “whoops, sorry, I seemed to have passed that one on.” Seriously though, for us, the success lies in that our children have great values, are respectful and are making progress in their lives. A big factor is that we have shared so much with them – we have always explained the story or the facts behind something that is being discussed. Hence, sometimes I get “gee, Dad – you make it sound like you were there,” or “you must have been around when the dinosaurs roamed the earth 😂” Are we culpable for the choices they make after they are 18 – no, we are not. However, if they need our help to get them through or support them and so on, we will always do that. But, they do have to accept the consequences for their actions.

    Liked by 1 person

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