Of Fathers and Daughters

Know any man who adores his daughter such that not only his whole family (immediate and extended) knows it, but his friends and the world are equally aware of the father-daughter lovely relationship? Such was the love that occurred between late and former NBA Laker Star Kobe Bryant and his daughter, Gianna. Such love is uncommon in a nation known for absent Dads. The beloved duo popularized “Girl Daddy” title for father-daughter relationships.

We’ve also heard Daddy’s Girl which refers to the daughters who are known as Dad’s favorites.

People often say that parents love a particular child over another. I don’t necessarily subscribe to that notion. Even if it is so, parents ought to be wise to not allow it to be apparent as it might breed sibling jealousy, rivalry, and competition. And who knows what else. Joseph’s story and the proverbial “coat of many colors” in the Bible is a true instance.

Good traits of being a Daddy’s Girl

Daddy’s Girl’s are blessed to have a first-hand knowledge and experience of what a man is and can be. Because of their closeness to their dad, Daddy Girls learn firsthand about men; what they do and how they do that which they do. They’d rather prefer to help their dad wash the cars and fix a tire, help with picking up and holding the tools ready to be used, than be in the kitchen with their mommas. Being in the kitchen bores Daddy’s Girls and they don’t understand why meals have to take so long to prepare. “Why don’t we just order pizza?!” is a constant question to their Moms. They are most likely to lean towards studying courses and careers that have been tagged “traditionally male-dominated.” They are also more comfortable in the boys group than their own gender types and have more male than female friends. Whoever said that roles, or anything, should be gender-based anyways? Except, of course being pregnant. They excel in technical and practical projects and activities where other girls fail. In essence, Daddy’s Girls are also no-nonsense strong girls who also grow up to be strong ladies and women. They are unafraid to lead a movement against injustice of any kind. All you need is their buy-in. They are extremely loyal, confident, and independent.

Downsides

Daddy’s Girls can however be plagued with relationship difficulties with both their female counterparts and in marriage. They relate on different planes with their girlfriends, are not girly-girls, feel that girly-girls are too touchy, too vain, and narrow-minded. They also often are perceived as harsh. They can also have difficulties in marriage because they don’t wait on, and for, their husbands to take care of things. They climb the ladder to change the bulb and know how to free the blocked toilet. The husband doesn’t understand why his Daddy-girl-wife wouldn’t cook home meals and prefers to dine out or order pizza. He feels she’s “wasting” money. It is a good thing to be proactive, but Daddy Girl’s proactivity might rub off wrongly on an insecure hubby who might feel that Daddy’s Girl is competing with his turf. Hubby’s insecurity will mar what otherwise could have been a God-sent gift to his life and might lead to or create issues in the marriage. At home, they appear to be competing with their Mom and tend to criticize their mother more than they do their dads. Worse if the woman is a step-mom, it will always be tension and unnecessary conflicts.

Daddy Girls are often misunderstood especially in traditional role environments and cultures and, even in liberal settings, they might be misconstrued as weird. Their “interests are at odds with expected female personality” roles.

Outcomes for misunderstanding Daddy’s Girls

With relationship difficulties, Daddy Girls can coil inwards and start believing the lies that something is actually wrong with their wiring. Except they are wired strong and “unbreakable,” these lies might actually come true and manifest in depression or anxiety or both with its resultant effects on other areas of their lives. They lose friends and wonder why nobody understands them. If no affirmation is received soonest, they might take solace in drugs and or drinking.

Finally

Daddy Girls are everywhere but they are more noticeable in households with predominantly daughters.

Next time you befriend or marry a Daddy’s Girl, please show more love and understanding. They are who they are because of divine wiring; snap a cord out of their wires, and they will be less and disoriented. But understanding them and allowing them to be will bring out the best in them. Build them up and support who they are, but please don’t crush their spirit.

Where would we be without the courage of Daddy’s Girls who have defied traditional stereotypes of daughters and risen to various levels of leadership. Look around and you can distinguish them by the foregoing.

To be continued

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