Thoughts: Mine, Others, Whose?!

close-up photo of Thought Catalog book
Credits: Unsplash

I don’t wanna ever embrace again some people’s Thoughts of me,

those thoughts have hurt and made me temporarily delusional.

Yet I would like to embrace some people’s Thoughts of me,

For those have motivated me to believe higher for myself.

I don’t even wanna embrace some Thoughts of myself sometimes;

for who knows where those thoughts came from

As I am aware that there’s a wrestling match going on between my mind and members

that sometimes the good that I intend to do I do not; and the evil that I don’t intend to do I find myself doing. (Romans 7:8-24)

Yet the Thoughts that I think of myself matter more.

I better think thoughts that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report or rapport. (Philippians 4:8)

And thoughts of peace, and not of evil, so I can attain His expected end for me. (Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬)

For these are the Thoughts of my Creator which matters most than any thought I or anyone may have of me.

So, align myself I must with His thoughts of me.

No matter what anyone thinks of me,

I have to agree with their verbalized thoughts and visualize myself being so for it to materialize!

I don’t ever want to think too highly of myself again

Nor embrace the lowly thoughts of others.

Father, I pray Thee help me and us all to have Your balance in our Thoughts.

. . .

This poetic post was inspired while I was commenting on Kally’s (#Middleme) Weekly Wisdom for the day. Please visit her awesome site for the post and more. I love her posts and I hope that you do too.

A Rose Just For You

To my WP family and friends

The recognition is all from you. The 🌹 is just for you.

I’d send the rose 🌹 to each person for not only liking my posts, but also following, sharing, and commenting.

But I don’t have your physical mailing addresses for FTD (Floral Direct) or Amazon to deliver to you;

But hope you’ll accept this online roses 🌹, straight outta my heart and specially hand-picked from the Unsplash garden, to you; one for each ‘like’ and share and comment and follow. Please leave some for the next liker, follower, commenter, and sharer.

You make it all worth the while.

Love you dearly my blogging clan!

#Gottfried #BanterRepublic

I couldn’t keep this to myself, people.

I would like to introduce to my esteemed WordPress family, and share with others, Gottfried of Banter Republic. I discovered the site and owner today. It has been a hilarious day since discovery. I haven’t laughed so hard in days.

Well, maybe I fibbed on that. I am not one to fib, but lately I’ve been told that I seem to forget some things. Who Me? Forget anything? No way! I still remember things and events from my kindergarten!!! 😆 You know, I realized that some naysayers like to take others down with them. 🤦🏾‍♀️ But I ain’t going down with noone.

Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away. – Benjamin Franklin

Anyhow, I meant to say that I remembered laughing hard at my nephew’s first birthday over the weekend when one of the guests, who happened to be a Trump loyalists, was “pounced” on for not wearing his MAGA cap. He was a minority in the crowd, but took it all in stride. I had never seen him so flustered – his melatonin helped concealed his blushes such that I hysterically laughed for several minutes! Having a back-to-back laughing bout days is healing!

. . .

I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.

Audrey Hepburn

As I was saying, I discovered Gottfried and his site via the WordPress Readers.

I share below a couple of his posts. I hope you will agree with me that he is an intelligentsia with/in humor. He’s also very responsive to comments – a trait that every blogger must have. He was responding to my comments simultaneously as I was still on his site reading, laughing, and commenting.

Please click here to visit the posts and his site. Also share your thoughts/comments below.

Please don’t stop …

#Gottfried #BanterRepublic. I’m glad that I discovered you. As I have commented – I love the humor expressed in your posts. The ability to make people laugh is a gift and falls under the gift of healing. I was healed (from weariness that cones from back-to-back family gatherings) this morning after reading your posts as I laughed so hard. I hope that you will give us more.

Please keep it up.

R A P E

Rape is never a pleasant thing to talk about. It sends shivers down my spines. But, it’s an issue we find ourselves talking about today. It’s an issue dear to The Eternal Word’s heart. It is an issue everyone should be concerned about.

It’s also an issue that has no cultural, race, age, or socio-economic boundaries. To learn more, read the following:

Sex vs. RAPE

Having sex is meant to be a special thing between two loving adults. It is meant to be an enjoyable experience with the right person.

Sex is never supposed to be had with a minor! It is illegal and whosoever does so is a pedophile. Such person is punishable under the law! Even the religions and cultures that allow such acts should be banned as they are perpetuating an illegal act!!!

RAPE is forceful sex, against the victim’s will. When sex is forceful, it is evil concupiscence (Colossians 3:5-6). If the person says “NO” and pushes, please STOP, they mean “NO!” Never think that the person is playing hard to get. Respect the person. No one enjoys forced sex; except that the perpetrator satisfies an evil desire/longing.

What adrenaline, or is it testosterone, flows uninhibited through the veins and arteries of one to defile another?! The mere thought of RAPE gives me chills as one with high fever.

Effects

RAPE victims suffer psychologically, emotionally, and mentally after a RAPE ordeal. Some of the consequences could be long-term if the victims are not treated or seek counseling/therapies. Additionally, most victims suffer shame and self-blame. Because of this, the majority of RAPE incidents are not reported or even shared with family members and/or friends leaving the victim to suffer the trauma alone.

PTSD is real with RAPE victims, so also is depression, panic attacks, and anxiety. Some victims also struggle with self esteem.

Life is hard enough as it is, why dump more on anyone? Rapists must be STOPPED and brought to justice. Anyone who has ever raped another must repent.

. . .

RAPE must be categorized as a pandemic issue. We all nust do our part to STOP it locally and globally. Please do your part people.

RAPE Myths

Understand the myths about rape or sexual violence as compiled by Rape Crisis, U.K.. For the corresponding Facts on each Myth, please visit their website https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/about-sexual-violence/myths-vs-realities/

  1. If someone gets really drunk, it’s their own fault if they end up getting raped. They should have kept themselves safe.
  2. Women often lie about rape because they regret having sex with someone, or because they want attention.
  3. If someone didn’t scream or try to fight their attacker off, then it wasn’t rape.
  4. If you are in a relationship with someone, it’s always OK to have sex with them.
  5. People who were sexually abused as children are likely to become abusers themselves.
  6. Women shouldn’t go out alone at night as they are likely to get raped.
  7. Women provoke men to rape them by wearing revealing clothes or flirting.
  8. Once a man is sexually aroused he can't help himself; he has to have sex.
  9. When it comes to sex, women and girls give out mixed signals. They sometimes 'play hard to get' and say 'no' when they really mean 'yes'. 
  10. Men of certain races and backgrounds are more likely to commit sexual violence.
  11. Men don't get raped.
  12. Women don’t commit sexual offences.

. . .

Need more information or gelp for your locality on how/what you can do to help end RAPE, Click here.

Let’s end this pandemic.

Thanks for reading. Please share.

Help, Lord!

Bible in One Year 2020 with Nicky Gumbel – Day 203 – Devotional

Sharing the Devotional from the Bible in One Year 2020. To read more and read daily, click this url https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/17704/day/203?segment=0

One of my most frequent prayers is ‘Help!’ It is also one of the most common prayers in the Bible. It is a prayer you can pray every day, in any and every situation. You can cry out to the Lord for help. God’s desire is for you to have a relationship with Him that is real and from the heart.

Psalm 88:9b-18

Help in broken relationships

Rejection is always hurtful – especially when it comes from someone you love or someone very close to you. Broken relationships are painful – particularly when we feel we have been ‘dumped’ by a ‘lover’, a ‘neighbour’ or a close friend. The psalmist feels that since ‘lover and neighbour alike dump me; the only friend I have left is Darkness’ (v.18, MSG).

He says, ‘For as long as I remember I’ve been hurting’ (v.15, MSG). The situation seems like one of utter hopelessness: darkness (v.12), feeling rejected by God (v.14), affliction (v.15a), terror and despair (v.15b). ‘I’m bleeding, black-and-blue… I’m nearly dead’ (v.17, MSG).

Yet there is one note of hope. The hope comes from the fact that, in the midst of all this, he chooses to start each day by crying out to God: ‘I call to you, O Lord, every day; I spread out my hands to you’ (v.9b).

Perhaps today you’re struggling with a relationship: in your marriage, workplace, church or with a close friend. However bad your situation may seem, there is always hope if you cry out to the Lord for help.

‘I cry to you for help, O Lord; in the morning my prayer comes before you’ (v.13). O Lord, I spread out my hands to you. I ask you for help…

Psalm 88:13

. . .

May God help us all in our time(s) of need when we sincerely cry out to Him. He will never let us down.

Why does God allow good people to die sooner and allow the wicked to live?

Father God forgive me as I write this because you expect me to know better. But, sometimes I don’t. This instance is one of those times that it’s still hard to swallow.

Sorry that I sound like a child when I should be talking like your mature daughter. But there are times the kid in us rears its head and one who is known for wisdom talks or acts foolishly.

Forgive me Father God.

It’s been five years since you allowed my brother, MO, to depart this world.

It still hurts like it happened yesterday for he was taken in his prime.

My brother, you’ll forever be missed. I “slept all these years” hoping that it would be a dream for the grief was too deep.

But alas I had to wake up and accept that you’re really no longer present with us.

To be absent in the body, is to be present with the Lord

2 Corinthians 5:8

I take solace in the fact that God knows best and that you’re at peace; no more striving.

I miss you dearly, my brother. You were one of a kind; the family reconciler; Dad’s right-hand man; kind-hearted; always going the extra mile for anyone in need; you were a friend indeed and a loving father.

Let the wicked repent

I remember your statement when Grandma died. You said, “the wicked has done their worst, Mama lived 101 years on earth.”

I pondered on it and finally understood what you meant.

Well, may the wicked never die again. Sarcastic. Should they not repent and turn from their wicked ways, may they be like chaff before the wind and may the angels of the Lord drive them out. (Isaiah 17:13)

We all miss you.

Continue to rest in peace.

Love-first model for marriage and relationships

We posed the question, in our previous blog, should-love-or-marriage-be-based-on-a-business-or-love-first-model.

We talked about the business-first model and what relationships would be like if we adopted that model. If you missed it, click bit.ly/2Czm55T to read it.

Today, we review the other type of relationship; love-first model. It should be a no-brainer that relationships are based on love, right? No! It’d amaze even Venus that it’s not so!

What is love?

Dictionary.com https://www.dictionary.com/browse/love offers a few definitions of: ‘love’ as:

  • a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person;
  • sexual passion or desire.
  • a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

What is the love-first model?

It is the kind that marriages and relationships ought to be about. It is also the kind where each edifies the other above one self. The Bible provides us with a standard:

“Love suffers long, and is kind;

love envies not;

love vaunts not itself, is not puffed up,

Love does not behave itself unseemly, seeks not his/her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil;

Love rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails: ….”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-8‬ ‭KJV

This is the utmost kind of relationship everyone desires and/or should aspire to. But how do we get it?

How can we enter into this ideal model?

I believe that this kind of relationship is possible when men wisely choose their ladies and the ladies patiently wait for their other half to search them out. Then, there is dignity, mutual respect, and appreciation in love.

If marriages and relationships are based on the love-first model, there will be no occurrences of separation, divorce, or leaving one another. The relationship one enters into, will culminate into marriages till death does one or both apart. That, to me, is the ideal kind!

But since we do have incidents of separation and divorces, is’t then safe to say that either one of the parties chose the wrong partner to begin with or that one or both entered into the relationship under pretense or that the marriage or relationship was entered into for the wrong reasons? Maybe? Only both parties can tell.

Your choice

Now that you know what love really is, which would you choose as your model for marriage or relationship; the business-first or the love-first?

For the love-first model, pray and have a confirmation in your spirit that you are choosing wisely because the alternative (aka wrong choice) can be disastrous.

Love and Peace!

Should love or marriage be based on a business- or love-first model?

“What’s in it for me?” “You rub my back and I rub yours (or scratch or poke yours depending on how I’m feeling about you! Lol). Sounds so cold, unh? Yet, these selfish and shamefacedly statements have now become cliches in households.

Why does anything have to be in it for you? What about the other person? Why have we starved love and become so hungry for the $dollar (or money, for those who don’t spend the almighty currency!)? What happened to us all?

I could rant endlessly in the hope that some “expert” somewhere could answer my questions.

With the above outlooks on love/marriage, falling in love or getting married becomes scary. Should it? Let’s talk about it and consider both models.

Business-first model

Dictionary.com defines ‘Business’ as:
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/business

  1. an occupation, profession, or trade:
  2. the purchase and sale of goods in an attempt to make a profit.
  3. a person, partnership, or corporation engaged in commerce, manufacturing, or a service; profit-seeking enterprise or concern.

Marriage is honorable …” Hebrews 13:4a

Types of businesses

There are different types of businesses; the top four are:

  1. Sole proprietorship
  2. Partnership
  3. Corporations
  4. Limited Liability Companies.

The business-first model in marriage is similar to a Partnership. In all businesses, it is wise to have an agreement/contract that clarifies expectations. The contract in marriage is called the Prenuptial Agreement or Prenups, for short.

My humble opinion is that prenups are business-in-marriage documents that should have no place when the marriage is grounded in love.

However, I can envisage why one person (or both) favors prenups before entering into the marriage.

For your information, prenups are not relegated to famous and wealthy folks. Average, everyday, working-class people have been known to request prenups before marrying. I wonder why anyone would marry prenuptially! Personally, I won’t.

Comment below if you would marry someone who presents you with a prenup. If not, why not? Thanks.

If a business model is applied to marriage, it implies that three scenarios are imminent:

  1. either one person profits, and the other losses;
  2. both parties win; or
  3. both parties lose!

Let’s expatiate on each scenario in reverse order

The third scenario (both parties lose; lose-lose) means that the outcome was a fallout, separation, or divorce. Is it safe to say then that both parties were misfits to start with? What caused a fallout or the ultimate decision of a divorce? What differences were so grave that could not have been forgiven, or as Californian courts will rule, were irreconcilable? Are we so callous with one another such that we take the “it’s my way or the highway!” stance? Maybe, we all should choose our significant others wisely before heading on the crooked road.

The second scenario (both parties win; win-win) is the ideal. But remember that the goal of starting a business is to make a profit; aka ROI, return on investment. In a marriage, what would those investments be? Using children as an example, as I couldn’t think of a better one,. Neither party didn’t begin the marriage with children. Each party brought something; the man contributed his sperm and the woman her eggs. “The profit” is the children?! What would we say about those in a second or third marriage who brought children into the new marriage. Blended home profit? What other examples can be used? Furniture, cars, etc. with the outcome (profit) being a home?! Maybe. What if one party does not have the furniture or cars? Should they still start a “business” together or the items become “ours” rather than mine or yours? Or as in a real business partnership, the type of partnership will be defined; that is, who would be the active, dormant/sleeping, limited powers, etc. partner? I’ll like to hear your thoughts on this.

With this scenario, it appears that both parties made the right choice of “business” partner, right? We all might need to take cue(s) from this type of business-first love/marriage.
How then would the profits be divided? 50/50 or ratio relative to your contribution?

The first scenario (win-loss) is a troublesome one. Were both parties, the onset, aware of what the outcome would be? Why would anyone knowingly enter into a losing business? Were there any part of the contract that was latent, ambiguous, or intentionally omitted? If so, should there still be a contract – shouldn’t the contract be voidable, void, and/or rescinded? Let’s ponder on these for a moment. Some relationships are doomed even before they begin because everyone saw and knew that it was never meant to be nor was it going to last. Only the people involved couldn’t see nor know it! I could name a few examples but I don’t want to be litigated! You probably know one or two as well.

. . .

Each of the above scenarios is worth pondering on. If you or I were to enter into a marriage or relationship, which scenario would you or I choose as our ideal? I know for sure that I would 💯 choose the second win-win scenario and I hope that you would, too.

What could humanity do to avoid a losing love/marriage? What sustainable relationship tips can we pass on that can help others and especially the younger generation?

Please comment below.

We’ll continue with the other model, Love-first in our next blog. Till then,

Love & Peace

Thanks for reading.

Woohoo . . . Thank You!

I had eagerly anticipated hitting 50 followers and it’s finally here. Better still, it came sooner than I had expected it.

Thank you 🙏🏾😍 Trafficzionmethod and JJ Smith for being my first two followers. You both gave me the break.

Thank you 🙏🏾🙏🏾😍😍WordPress family for the encouragement, motivation, and inspiration. I cherish the likes and comments and enjoy replying to them. I equally love each follower’s website and content. You all seem to do it effortlessly.

Much appreciation to the WordPress Staff behind the scenes. You all are difference makers. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾😍😍😍

. . .

I wrote my first two blogs, [Who Am I?], [We Yearn and Thirst For] on April 19, 2020 and didn’t write another till ten days later. I started slow but finally “getting my groove” (credits to Terry MacMillan) on blogging.

Thank you all for the support. ❤️❤️❤️

Peace!

Love me

Caption by Think-Talk

Love me

Not for my looks

‘Cause those will soon fade away;

Not for my smarts

For those were given to me

And could be taken away;

Not for my money

‘Cause you might detest me when it’s gone.

Love me

Just for me.

If for my looks you came

Know that you’ll disappear

When the bulges come

Or the grays sip in.

If for my smarts

When God forbid dementia visits

I know you’ll become the guest and the owner not.

If for my moolah

Know that it is not just for you

For a million mouths

I have chosen to feed.

If you’ll stay

Stay then you must

Not for my looks

Or smarts

Or moolah

But for me

So love me

Just for who I am.

Who I am is within

It’s not found in the looks

Or smarts

Or moolah

It is found in my heart

Which is yet to be seen and explored

By you.

Love me

Just for me! ❤️

110 days from today …

What are you going to do?

Whatever you do, do it totally with your heart knowing that you have read, watched, and studied, all that needs to be digested. That, above all, you have studied “to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness.”
‭‭(2 Timothy‬ ‭2:15-16‬)

Whatever you do 110 days from today, please seriously refrain from groupthink or bandwagon effect of joining the acts or desires of the populace.

Finally, whatever you do, stop, pray, and ponder to ask yourself, will I be able to live with myself after this or will I regret having acted contrary to the truth and my heart.

I say pray because often not all that appears good are of God. I repeat, everything that looks, feel, and or sound good are not of God. Few are obvious to the naked eye, but many are discreet that will fool even the very elect (Matthew 24:24b). Be not one of those who think that God can be mocked for whatsoever we sow, we shall reap (Galatians 6:7-8).

. . .

The frailty of humanity is that we focus on the negatives of the past and of one another and sadly forget the good of both the past and one another. Psychologists confirm that this is how our brains are hardwired and term it negativity bias. Click the links below to read more on the term:

. . .

In 110 days from today, I implore you to focus on merits rather than the negatives and VOTE with your heart for the Truth.

You have ample time to research and digest each candidate and, of course, each proposition.. Start today so that 110 days from today, you will know what to do and will do that which you ought to have done.

. . .

America is presently in a dire state. But there’s hope still for by His mercies, America shall not be consumed because great is His faithfulness! (Lanentations 3:22-24)

Let your voice be heard; exercise your civic right and let your vote count. No excuses. You can Vote by mail. Check out information on how to now and be ready to vote 110 days from today.

Peace!

Love and Love Languages

How do you love yourself or allow yourself to be loved? Are you the flower person, chocolates, wine and dine, just-hold-my-hands kind of person? Or do you prefer the long (phone/face-to-face) conversations? Whatever your preference, wouldn’t you like your significant other to know, or you knowing your children’s; if you have any?

Wouldn’t you also like to know the type of love your relationship (or marriage) is exhibiting?

Well, if you already don’t know, we all speak various love languages. These languages often can be misconstrued. Knowing the different types of love and love languages can set relationships straight.

. . .

Biblically, there are four types of love. Jack Zavada writes about Eros, Storge, Philia, and Agape in his article. Click here to read more https://www.thoughtco.com/types-of-love-in-the-bible-700177.

Agape is the highest form of love. It’s the God-kind of Love which we all should aspire to.

. . .

Psychologically, there are seven types of Love. Neel Burton M.D. adds three more to the biblical types. I learned something as these three are all new to me. To read them, please click here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201606/these-are-the-7-types-love.

Did you learn something new as well? Yes or No, please comment below.

There’s however an eighth kind that I’ll like to add.

Mania (obsessive/excessive) love. This kind of love can manifest in the other seven, maybe six (excluding Agape) if not checked.

Love Languages

Love has a language. They are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

Speaking the wrong language is akin to someone speaking Swahili to a Greek. Result is chaos, (love) clutter, and reciprocity failure. It is important to know one’s love language as well as one’s spouse, children, and/or close friends.

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, “it helps strengthen relationships … as different people with different personalities express love in different ways.

Interested in finding out your love language, click here [https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/]. Each of us have a primary (dominant) language. We can also have a secondary (recessive) language as well as multiple love languages.

Have fun discovering your love language. And should you feel like sharing, do so in the Reply/Comments below.

Wisdom nugget: Today


In choosing whatever you want and however you live your life today,
remember tomorrow.

Whatever you do today,
Will you be proud of it tomorrow.

Whatever you do today,
Think of how you’ll explain it to your child/children or the one you love the most tomorrow,

Whatever you do that brings you comfort and money today,
Think of the comfort and more money it might take away tomorrow.

If it will give you sleepless nights tomorrow,
Be wise and wave it bye bye today

But we never know what tomorrow brings
So be wise today
And ask your Creator
If this is what He wants for you
Today!

😍🙏🏾✌🏾

An apropos for the remainder of the year

Today is Day 190 of the calendar and we’ve just begun the second half of 2020.

With COVID-19 and its effect on everyone and the economy, the ongoing unrest, including the upcoming elections, we, as well as our nation, are nearing a seemingly turning point.

I believe in miracles and we need the hand of God to steer us all and orchestrate a divine intervention.

This prayer is therefore apropos for us all for the rest of the year.

I pray that it resonates with you. Stay blessed.

BBC – Science & Nature – Human Body and Mind – Spot The Fake Smile

Spot The Fake Smile Survey
— Read on www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/smiles/

. . .

Can you spot a fake smile from a genuine one? According to U.K.’s BBC, “Most people are surprisingly bad at spotting fake smiles. One possible explanation for this is that it may be easier for people to get along if they don’t always know what others are really feeling.

Would you rather just get along with people or would you rather seek genuine friendships/relationships? For some, the answer might be “it depends.” I’d rather have the genuine.

. . .

I took this survey in one of my classes in college and scored 18 out of 20. Not bad, right?! But I wish I got it all! That two fake smiles could unknowingly cause a disaster or two if allowed to slip. Please don’t mind me – just revealing my competitive side 😀

I just found my result of the survey and wanted to share for a mid-week challenge.

. . .

We’re all in a haste to get things done that these days, no one stops to breathe or rest any more. (One reason that COVID-19 was a welcome breather of sorts!) We run about like the fable Chicken Little such that we miss the little things that matter. A fake smile and/or body language are two of such things.

. . .

Now, let’s see how you fair. Can you really spot a fake smile? Take the survey by clicking on the url above. p.s. you might need a Flash player.

Don’t forget to share your results in the comments below.

Happy hump day!

Housewife: A Case for the Title

Every home not only needs a woman, but every home needs a practical woman. A woman who can juggle her acts, smoothly don the hats of a Chief Executive Officer, Chief Economist, Chief Operating Officer, Chief Administrative Officer, Chief Strategic Officer, Chief Internal Officer, Chief Public Relations Officer, Chief Information Security Officer, as well as the Chauffeur, Chef, and Chief of the Family Fan Club, and still maintain her poise and sanity.

A married lady who stays home to take care of the needs of her home; is to be cherished because she happily wears all the numerous hats for which she is not compensated nor adequately appreciated. She’s often taken for granted in many homes because “it is her responsibility” to take care of the house/home, right? No! That’s wrong!

The housewife’s job is never done in a day. It’s a steady chore juggling to ensure that:

(1) the physical home is sparkling clean first and foremost, and that the ambiance of the internal decor is strikingly captivating and inviting to anyone especially such that the hubby is compelled to rush home after work and hardly wants to leave the comforts for a weekend getaway;

(2) love and peace fill all its chambers;

(3) the children love it so much they want to show it off while inviting their friends over rather than chasing after sleepovers;

(4) she also loves to call it her sanctuary, and

(5) she constantly provides (or cooks) her family’s favorite meals.

Wow … what a list of chores? Does the housewife ever get a break? She takes care of everyone, but who gets to pamper her? She who refreshes others, must herself be refreshed, right?

. . .

Before I continue, I applaud the men/husbands who not only cherish their wives, but help with the household chores, and should their wives be a stay-at-homer, compensate them by giving them allowances (sounds so archaic though) or freedom in the joint bank accounts realizing that two have become one. 

. . .

Men/Husbands, please know that your wives are reasonable and sensible human beings. Once women are convinced that both are on the same page, they will handle the joint financials at a profit! (This statement can further be blogged another day). Will be interesting to hear the viewpoints of men/husbands on this too. 

“A thrifty woman is better than a great income. A good wife and health are a man’s best wealth”

Charles H. Spurgeon

Men, please share your thoughts on this point (i.e., that women are reasonable and can profitably manage the joint account) by commenting below.

History to Present Day of Housewifing:

Traditionally, married women stayed at home, not for economic reasons but, as an honor and in submission to the man/husband as the head of the household. My grandma often told us that it was taboo in their days for a married woman to have a 9-to-5 job. The few women who did had “the female” professions such as nurses or teachers; not the CEO types nor were they ever seen in the boardroom. These women were seen as women who wanted to “wear-the-pants,” aka domineering.and in church-ish language could be termed, Jezebels.

Please read this article for more on historical housewifing: https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/The-1950s-Housewife/

Modern-day reasons for staying at home however are more for economic reasons. For example, child/daycare costs are astronomical, especially in a state like California where the 2019 GDP is $3.1 trillion (https://www.statista.com/statistics/248023/us-gross-domestic-product-gdp-by-state/). According to the Economic Policy Institute, the average daycare monthly cost in California is almost a $1,000 (https://www.epi.org/child-care-costs-in-the-united-states/) compared to $500 in Alabama whose 2019 GDP was $203.97 million. Understandably, daycare cost, like every other cost, is relative. However, $500 in Alabama is a huge expense for young families with infants and toddlers, coupled with the stress of wondering whether the daycare will provide the best care. It, therefore, makes good economic sense to have one parent stay home to care for the children.

Benefits of Stay-at-homers:

  • The truism of the adage “there’s no mom like one’s mother” becomes inevitable;
  • It’s cheaper as the money that could have been paid to the daycare provider can now be channeled to other use;
  • Children are in safer environments at home than with strangers;
  • Children are healthier as there’s no ping-ponging of sicknesses that stems from having the kids together particularly during the COVID-19 period;
  • The children are well-rested as the wife/mother doesn’t have to wake them up early for daycare so that she can be prompt for work; 
  • As the children grow and begin school and/or sports, they have Mom to always drop off/pick up on time instead of looking for help or leaving them till late before picking up;
  • Family time is valued as the husband can return to home-cooked meals, which can be eaten together as a family;
  • There’s overall peace of mind.

Disadvantages of being a housewife:

  • The man-husband becomes the sole provider;
  • As a result of #1 above, there’s a higher financial burden on the man-husband;
  • This in turn causes stress in the home;
  • In today’s living standards where two wage-earners have become essential, the opportunity-cost living on one income means some things would have to be forgone and must-haves now become luxuries;
  • The woman/wife does not have a “she” money and has to rely on the bacon brought home by her hubby;
  • There’s a stigma of inadequacy that the woman/wife suffers in her circle of family and friends;
  • “If their husbands are rich, they are frequently berated for being lazy; if they are immigrants, for keeping children from learning the language and ways of their host country.” https://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/21/world/europe/21iht-LETTER.html
  • It can be boring as the woman/wife is alone at home.

It’s a Choice!

Most housewives are educated and have chosen this path for several and varied reasons that range from personal, economic, religion, to class status. Some are because the woman/wife wanted to, or the man/husband requested that the woman stay home, or both agreed that it was the best decision for them as a family.

Whatever any family’s decision is, it is time for society to acknowledge this sector of people as essential hard workers and treat them as respectable as any working woman. Interestingly though, one article noted that “… the economic value housewives create remains within their home …” This is a sad statement to make as I believe that there is a spillover benefit that is derived from the contributions of the housewife towards her husband and children.

A 2017 New York Post article stated that millennials are forgoing the career/professional path for the comfort of the home/kitchen. Read the article here: https://nypost.com/2017/05/24/im-a-millennial-woman-and-id-rather-be-a-housewife/

I have personally been on both sides of the coin – as a professional lady as well as a housewife. If I have to choose another life, I will choose to stay at home. The housewife does a lot more with her time being home than manicure and pedicure. She needs to be compensated for the many hats that she wears or be openly appreciated.

"Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." 
- Proverbs 31:31 (NIV)

Please share your thoughts by commenting below. Thanks for reading.

Steer clear of work-at-home scams | FTC Consumer Information

As the Coronavirus continues to spread, you may be looking for ways to make money without ever stepping foot outside your door.
— Read on www.consumer.ftc.gov/blog/2020/07/steer-clear-work-home-scams

. . .

Everyone ought to subscribe to the Consumer FTC email/blog. The department notifies one on trending consumer issues such as this one and others, including retail stores or companies whose privacy issues have been violated and what one should do about it. Varied topics, such as health & fitness, money & credit, jobs, privacy, & online security are blogged. I have gotten beneficial information over the years from the site and know that you will too.

To subscribe, go to consumer.ftc.gov/blog, scroll down and click the [Get email updates] button.

Please share your thoughts below on the content of the site. Thank you.

Recipe: Scotch Eggs

Scotch Eggs originated from England but has become one of the favorite snacks of British-colonized countries.

Ingredients:

•. 1 12-oz Jimmy Dean Sausage
•. Bread Crumbs (Plain or Italian Style)
•. 8 – 10 Eggs
•. Oil

Cooking Instructions:

1. Boil the eggs for 15 minutes
2. Drain the hot water
3. Add cold water to eggs. This helps cool down the eggs and aids in smooth peeling of the shells
4. Set aside for couple of minutes
5. Return to peel the egg shells

. . .

6. Empty the Jimmy Dean Sausage (JDS) in a large bowl
7. Crack an egg and add to the JDS
8. Add 6 tablespoons of the Bread Crumbs into the mix 9. Using a spatula, mix up the ingredients

10. Crack another egg in a bowl and set aside
11. Scoop 2 tablespoons of the Bread Crumbs in a plate and set aside

12. Add the oil into a deep fryer (can use a medium-size pot as well). Turn deep fryer on to heat up (if using a pot, turn cooker on medium to heat up oil)
13. Take one boiled egg, scoop the JDS mix, flatten it on your palm, and wrap around covering the whole egg; dip into the raw egg, and sprinkle the bread crumbs all over it. Dab all over the egg; sprinkle a bit more bread crumbs. Set egg aside. Repeat till all eggs are done.

14. Begin deep frying the eggs till slightly brown to medium brown.

15. Remove from fryer and set aside to cool down. Can place a kitchen paper towel on plate to soak off excessive oil.

Scotch Egg is ready. Can be eaten hot, warm, or cold as a snack or breakfast on-the-go!

Bon appetit

The Two Voices Every Leader Chases – Dr. Stephen R. Graves

The Two Voices Every Leader Chases – Dr. Stephen R. Graves
— Read on stephenrgraves.com/articles/read/the-two-voices-every-leader-chases/

Sharing another of Dr. Graves’ articles. Every leader must be able to discern these two voices; Voice of Inspiration and Voice of Instruction, amidst the daily and/or occasional confusion. Every leader must also know that God is not always in the midst of noise or everything that “seems good.”

Find your own circle (or team) of Inspiration and Instruction. In finding it, every leader must also know not to force or outstay it if it does not feel right.

Here’s to the best you (leader)! Enjoy the article and check him out as well at stephenrgraves.com.

More Is Caught Than Taught – Dr. Stephen R. Graves

More Is Caught Than Taught – Dr. Stephen R. Graves
— Read on stephenrgraves.com/articles/read/more-is-caught-than-taught/

Leadership. Leaders. Leaders and Leadership. We are all leaders in our own ways though many don’t ascribe to the title and some think that it’s humility to be titled a follower. We need both leaders and followers. As a matter of fact, every leader must be a follower or learn to follow at times; it’s a form of life balance.

The truth is that we are all one form of a leader in many ways.

I love leaders and leadership. I know that I haven’t blogged on it yet. Well, I’m sharing the first article/blog. I signed up for a webinar featuring Stephen R. Graves. It’s my first time hearing of him (I realize that there are a whole lot more great folks out there that I’m still yet to meet!) and decided to check him out before the day. This article/blog straight away caught my attention as it’s one of my favorite phrases.

The probability of leaders having like followers is higher than having dissimilar followers. Needless to say, leaders have to lead well.

Some things are taught, but many are caught. This phrase is particularly true with families. Without being specifically told, we find ourselves doing the same things we watch our parents do. We inherit their habits, styles, mannerisms, likes and dislikes, etc. My father loved to travel. When he does, we jest on how he packs like a woman because he overpacks. I realize now that I do the same; granted that I am the lady. And my daughters jest me on overpacking 😜. I justify my packing lol by responding that I do not want to buy things out there that I have at home and could have brought with me.

Guess what?! I now notice my daughters doing exactly the same! They caught my habit!

In the Bible, Elisha caught Elijah’s anointing and received a double-portion.

In essence, we ought to be mindful of all that we do because we never know who is watching!

What do you think? Leave your comments below. I hope you also learned something from Dr. Graves’ article.

Peace.

Recipe: Curry Chicken

Curry is an Indian favorite that has now become one of my family’s as well. We love curry; Curry chicken, curry beef, curry spinach, and curry rice (with or without shrimp). We also add curry to spice up our sauces and other foods.

Ingredients:

• 12 Chicken parts (thighs, wings, drumsticks, and breasts). Will recommend to use the chicken picnic or family packs that contain all four parts; else buy the packs individually.
• Oil (your choice)
• 1 medium Onion
• 2 Potatoes (Gold, Red, or Russet). • 6 oz Spinach (fresh or frozen – Optional)

Spices:

• 6 Tablespoons of Curry (Madras or other kind)
• 2 Tablespoons of Cumin
• 2 Tablespoons of Turmeric (Substitute with Fresh Turmeric Root – peeled and sliced)
• Black Pepper (or slice 1/2 habanero for hot $ spicy)
• 1 Tablespoon of Italian seasoning
• Bay leave
• 1 tablespoon of Corn Starch
• 2 Chicken bouillon

Cooking Instructions:

1. Place chicken parts in cooking pot
2. Rinse once
3. Slice (or dice) onion and add to chicken
4. Add the Italian seasoning, 1 chicken bouillon, and 1 tablespoon of salt.
5. Add 4 cups of water and cover

6. Boil for 10 minutes or till tender, but not too tenderized. Be mindful not to over-boil as the chicken parts fall to pieces the longer it’s on the cooker.

7. Add the potatoes; peel and cut into 4-6 parts
8. Add the curry, cumin, turmeric, bay leaves, and the other chicken bouillon.
9. Add oil and stir
10. Simmer for 10 minutes
11. Mix 1 tablespoons of corn starch into a cup of water
12. Pour into curry sauce.
13. Stir; making sure there are no lumps
14. Simmer for another 5 minutes
15. Add the black pepper
16. Optional: add spinach
17. Let simmer fir a minute or two.

Chicken Curry is ready. Enjoy with Basmati rice or your preferred choice of rice for lunch or dinner 😍

Try this recipe, or any of the other posted recipes, and leave a comment. Thanks

Recipe: Moinmoin

Moinmoin is a favorite dish in Nigeria and some African countries. It is highly rich in protein as well as Iron as it is made from beans.

Nigerians use the red (some call it orange) beans, but black-eyed beans is equally good.

The optional ingredients below is used in making the seafood Moinmoin. You can add other seafood items to it as desired.

Likewise, for all meat Moinmoin, suggested optional items would be corned beef, gizzards, cow liver, and/or kidney. You can use all or only one of meat substitutes; or your can add your choice of meat; the choice is yours. The items must be boiled (add water and seasonings to items in a saucepan, cover, and place over medium heat to boil) and cubed.

Combo Moinmoin could also be made using combination of all items.

. . .

Moinmoin can be eaten a la carte for breakfast or paired with rice, beans, or fried plantain for lunch or dinner.

Ingredients (to make 8 pieces):

• 2 cups of Beans (red or black-eyed)
• 1 medium-size Red bell pepper
• 1 medium-size yellow onions
• 1 (or 1/2) habanero
• 2 Roma tomatoes
• 6 eggs
• 1 cup of oil (vegetable, corn, canola, or olive)
• Spices (salt, seasoning salt, thyme (or Italian seasoning, beef or shrimp bouillons)
• Reynolds Foil paper
• A 12-18oz saucepan

Optional Items:
• 1/2 lb of shrimp (deveined)
• 1 4-oz smoked salmon
• 1 spoonful of ground smoked dried shrimp

Step One: De-peeling the beans

1. Soak the beans in a large bowl for about 5 minutes. This makes the beans soft and the skin easy to come off.
2. Pour beans in a blender (might have to do this twice or thrice depending on the size of your blender).
3. Use low (and slow) speed to blend. A swirl or two is okay. Note: if you use high and fast speed, the blender will chop the beans into smaller pieces that will be hard to handle later.
4. Pour into another large bowl.
5. Repeat 1-4 until all beans is done.
This process takes the skin off the beans.

Step Two: blending the beans

1. Add the de-peeled beans into a blender
2. Add 1/4 of the onion
3. Add 1/4 of the red bell pepper
4. Add 1/2 of the habanero
5. Add 1/2 the Roma tomato
6. Add 1/4-1/2 cup of water into the blender; not a lot, just enough to aid the smooth blending of the beans.
7. Blend till smooth. Smoothness will depend on the power of your blender.
Repeat 1-7 until all beans is blended.

Step Three:

A. Boil 2 eggs; cut each egg into 4 pieces. You can use an egg slicer as well.
B. Prep the foil paper. This simply means cutting the foil paper into shape; see picture below.

Step Four:

1. Add the spices and optional items into the blended beans
2. Add the oil as well. (Optional: heat up the oil)
3. Crack up and add 2 eggs into the mix
4. Stir all ingredients up. Taste for salt.
5. Boil the remaining eggs and slice each into 4. Set aside.
Mixture is now ready to scoop into the foil paper.
6. Put 2 cups of water into the saucepan and place over low heat
7. Scoop 1-3 spoonfuls into the foil paper, add 2 1/4 of eggs and tighten (or fold down) the foil paper in such a way as to secure mixture from oozing out.
8. Repeat #7 above until all mixture is gone.
9. Increase heat to medium-high
10. Cook for about 45 minutes.

Moinmoin will solidify over heat and is ready to be enjoyed.

Prayer: What you may not know about it

Today, I want to talk about prayers. This issue has been togging on my heart to share. So, here it is:

[ Quoted scriptures are from the King Janes Version of the Holy Bible ]

“If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”
‭‭2 Chronicles‬ ‭7:14‬

What is Prayer?

Prayer (or praying) is a form of communication between people and God. It is merely a conversation which can be in the form of a request, call (or shout) for help, thanksgiving, supplication, seeking, or showing gratitude. Knowing when to engage in one form of prayer over the other is key to answered prayers. I deem prayer as a form of humility where I’m telling Father God that I cannot do “this thing” by myself, but with Him “I can do all things…” (Philippians 4:13)

Lord Jesus prayed (Matthew 26:36-44). We also can learn from his manner of prayer. Every religion prays; Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, even the dark kingdoms, etc. The difference is distinguishable in the channel/source of the prayer.

Prayers can be in the individual’s local or heavenly language. The local language as in English, Spanish, Yoruba, Chinese, Mandarin, Tagalog, Hebrew, Swahili, etc, or any other native dialect.The heavenly language is when the individual speaks in tongues.

Speaking in tongues is in the New Testament and can either be a gift or can be desired. Because it is in the New Testament, speaking in tongues is still relevant and powerful today. Please note that speaking in tongues is different from chanting. Because all truths are parallel; some might say that speaking in tongues and chanting are similar. This blog/platform is not to debate that stance.

Which is more effective?

Personally speaking, there is a time and place for each; that is, praying in one’s local language versus praying in tongues.

“Yet in the church, I had rather speak five words with my understanding, that by my voice I might teach others also, than ten thousand words in an unknown tongue.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭14:19‬

I love praying in tongues as it not only strengthens the inner (spirit) man, (1 Corinthians 14:4) but most importantly it bypasses the individual’s mind/intellect and is a direct communication to God. (1 Corinthians 14:2)

Prayer Styles include:

  • silently or (keeping still in the presence of God)
  • fervently (James 5:16)
  • groaning before God
  • crying/weeping unto God (Hebrews‬ ‭5:7‬, Jeremiah‬ ‭11:14, 48:5‬, Psalm 141:1, Judges 6:7, etc.)

These forms of prayer are particularly famous with King David in the Bible. We also can adopt them.

. . .

Prayer Postures

Kneeling is a favorite posture of prayer by a majority of people. Other anomalistic postures include prostrating before God (2 Samuel‬ ‭12:16‬b), standing, walking around, sitting, etc.

I know that God answers prayer any which way; irrespective of posture. The posture is not as important as one’s HEART.

. 🙏 .

Prayer can be said privately, in a group of two or more, or corporately as in a church setting.

“Not all private prayer is effective, but private prayer is rewarding”

Unknown, Grace for Purpose

The private prayer, the one-to-one communication, is the type when you enter into your “closet” aka your designated place of meeting with Father God.

“…, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; …”

Matthew‬ ‭6:6‬a

I love this video https://youtu.be/PwAm4c3GATA from Grace for Purpose YouTube page. Please listen to it as it will bless you and your day.

Group prayer. “Where two or more are gathered in my name, there will I be.” Group prayer is when you join with a spouse or friend(s) to pray; bringing an issue before God and coming into an agreement over the issue.

Corporate prayer. It has often been said that prayer is the foundation of the church. Many churches designate about an hour for special prayers where church members (often with the prayer group leading if the church has such a group. If not church elders or leaders lead the prayer/prayer points by coming together to pray for the church, its members, church’s needs, cities, nations, and/or for other specific needs.

What is the best time to pray?

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Jesus woke up early to pray (Mark 1:35). The above Grace for Purpose video also collaborates this. As such, I prefer the morning as the best time to pray.

Most people often start their days getting physically-charged by exercising and/or going to the gym. Others do yoga for the mental-/emotional-charge. I prefer starting my day with prayer to be spiritually-charged as it takes care of all three – physical, mental, and emotional. Besides, one might get a revelation for the day! One unique word direct from God (aka revelation) to your spirit man, can take care of something(s) that could have taken you years to resolve!

Having said that, if you start your day with prayer, it is only wise to end your day also with a prayer. But, prayer in between your work (business or college) days is equally beneficial.

. . .

The Holy Bible talks of other prayer times such as the morning watch (1 Samuel 11:11), middle watch (Judges 7:19, Luke 12:38), third watch, and fourth watch (Matthew 14:25, Mark 6:48). The watches in this usage are specific three-hour blocks of time in a 24-hour clock.

According to The Global Watch https://www.theglobalwatch.com/significance-of-the-4th-watch.html, “The Hebrew watch was divided into three watches, the first, middle and morning watch. As the Roman influence and supremacy was established, the number of watches increased to four and were described in numerical order

  1. 1st (6pm – 9pm);
  2. 2nd (9pm – 12am);
  3. 3rd (12am – 3am); and
  4. 4th (3am – 6am).”

I do not suppose that God cares about the time one prays because He has specific assignments for each person. While some are early risers/worms, some are night owls. Some people work regular hours, while some work night or grave shifts. The hours and duration that you designate for meeting with Father God will accordingly be uniquely you.

. . .

I will recommend prayer before a business meeting; pray for your business outcomes, and even your customers and suppliers. It is wisdom to commit every business decision to God even before starting it. I also recommend that one prays while at work, during your lunch break, while running your errands, in the gym, etc. Pray particularly for your home, spouses, children, family, your doctors, lawyers, accountants, your children’s friends, and their families, your children’s teachers; practically pray for everyone and everything that concerns you.

Did I hear your sigh that this is a lot of praying? It seems so, but all the above could be done in about 15 minutes. Once you get started, the fifteen minutes would seem insufficient that you’ll desire to increase your time with Father God as you deem fit. Incremental times of 15 minutes are great till you get to where you feel you’ve given your best time. One-liner prayers, such as Help me! or Heal me! are equally as effective. Your prayer does not always have to be lengthy or repetitive because Father God is not so interested in how long (quantity of time), but the quality of your time is more important to Him. The quality of time with Papa God should be free from distractions. Give Him your best time; be it 15, 30, or 60 minutes.

It is also best to designate a praying spot and block out the praying time. Once designated, be diligently prompt and consistent as He will always meet you there.

Please note that though some people might have a gift of praying, realize that none was born a prayer warrior. Every prayer warrior began somewhere. I remember when I always wished that I would not be called upon to pray at home-groups.

. . .

I will be amiss if I do not mention that prayer without corresponding action is futile. Once you’ve brought your issues (or concerns) before Father God, you need to get up and take the necessary step(s) for action. After you’ve prayed, believe that Father God has heard you and be expectant (Mark 11:24). Father’s answer to your prayer often falls into either a:

“Yes” – you receive exactly what you asked for;

“No” – you do not receive exactly what you prayed for, but you get something that Father God knows you either need or is better for you.

“Wait” – this has to do with the timing of your request and means that your request will be answered later.

. . .

Generally speaking, prayer ought to be soothing and should never agitate the person, the person’s spirit, nor a situation. Any prayer agitating anyone’s spirit is often not a godly prayer.

🙏🏾.🙏.🙏🏼.

I hope you learned a new thing or two. Please comment below to share. May you be richly rewarded publicly what you have spent your private time doing in the Name of Jesus.

Caveat: this blog on prayer is not exhaustive. There’s much more that can be written on the topic. But I hope this helps on your journey to praying and spending time with Father God.

Peace.

Mental Health: Women and Home Management

www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/what-is-the-mental-load

The awareness of mental health issues keep growing. Now we recognize a lot of health issues (that lead to diseases) that previously had been ignored.

I came across this article via a Twitter feed. Informative and worth reading.

Women have been pitched into “holding the home forth.” Little do the men/husband/significant others realize that the home forth involves a lot – being the CEO, CIO, CSO (Chief Strategic Officer), CAO (Chief Administrative Officer), CFO, CIO (Chief Internal Officer), CPRO (Chief Public Relations Officer), and Chief chauffeur. Ladies, let me know if I omitted any title. At the end of the day, the woman is exhausted and has no gas left for other important tasks. Yes, women can delegate the chores if they can afford it. But for those who can’t, this article will help on how to manage yourself and your home. Enjoy and share your thoughts by commenting below.

Peace.